Mistake

I'm trying to run from the past but it's always just a step behind.
I'll never shake the lonliness of childhood or the fact that I was a mistake.
The physical pain was easy to endure but the emotional pain will always be there, in the back of my mind.
I'm trying to hold it all in but someday's all I want to do is let myself finally break.

You were supposed to be there for me always, you were supposed to protect me.
Instead it was you that hurt me, as long as you were fine, the world was once again right.
The effects your descisions had on me, was something you didn't care to see.
I was scared and lost and confused , hanging on to what was left of me with all of my might.

The welts he left could be hidden away, the angry words thrown at me could be forgotten as long as no one else heard.
I once threatened to tell, you remember the day, you told me they would take me because I had been bad.
So I kept the hurt inside, I never uttered a single word.
Thinking back now, I know that I should have spoken up but I had and excuse, I was only a child and I didn't want the one person that I counted on to be mad.

What was your reasoning? You never did tell , How you could take an innocent child that loved you so much and turn their world into a living Hell?