A Chronic Problem

         A blanket has been pulled over our eyes.  Sitting in darkness, we have nothing to do but hope for some kind of light in our sub-mundane suburban house-hells.  The only problem with the Emerikan people today is how astoundingly lazy they all are.  In an age of instant-Internet-anything and three-minute-mini-pizzas galore, it’s become a chore for ALL of us to wake up.  Bright and early, every morning, two-hundred million of China’s best electronic roosters decide to all cock-a-doodle-doo at the same time, 8a.m., signaling the start of a new work day.  Our blue and white collar friends proceed to get out of bed and then they moan; moaning in synch with all the other discontent bastards across this couch potato nation; some still hung over, others self diagnosing their ‘chronic’ back pain and anxiety that they swear they have, even if the doctor says they don’t.  Then at work it becomes a game to see who can look the busiest while doing the least.  Now, once the boss has made his rounds, the next eleven hours that Joe Everyman has to spend at that ‘shit-hole’ he calls his job will be passed by games of solitaire and minesweeper.  When the lazier one remembers to or decides to make another lap around the office, Joe will quickly minimize his game, blog entry, or porn site and pull up that spread sheet he was supposed to be working on so that the next day he can go in again and do the same thing all over again.  Joe just goes in and does enough to make his boss not fire him, enough to keep his kids fed and his wife happy.  I’ve witnessed it in so many situations, and it makes me sick to see how these men work themselves to death while others just lean against a pole and watch.  We have to do our part.  We don’t have a problem with guns, or violence, or even drugs, Emerika is in the midst of its greatest war yet, the war on apathy.
One thing that has made countries like China and Britain so consistently powerful economically and socially is their collective work ethic.  The national sense of Emerikanism and pride is the biggest façade our once great nation has ever had to, first and foremost, notice, and then deal with.  Our leaders are trying to skip second, third, and fourth gear all together, going straight into fifth, but our government doesn’t know how to drive a stick, and its ruining our nations’s transmission.  If we keep on doing what we’re doing, we‘ll lose our influence among the true powers of the world, and our Emerikan station wagon will stall in the middle of the same train tracks Hitler got hit on, and there will be an entire nation of passengers to go along for the ride with our blind leaders when we all go up in flames.  Perhaps a holocaust is what every country needs to find its place in this world.  China is the example we should follow, like an ant colony works to rebuild their nest after the heavy spring rain has come, so to does the Peoples Republic when their mound is breeched.  You see, Emerikans work day to day for a completely different reason; they get self-gratification from their actions, they do things because it benefits them and they will do it time and time again just for the simple fact that is it makes them feel fulfilled in some little way and it gives them their little hit of dopamine, people do what they do over and over and call it free will, but in the end it comes down to survival of the fittest and doing what you have to do to get by.  This new, trendy, sedentary lifestyle we’ve all become accustomed to, is likely to be the ruin of the great Emerika.  Unlike the ant, Emerikans are unable to work together.  There is no motivation in a society where ninety-percent of the population is addicted to hamburgers, footballs, bibles and T.V.  At least the ant doesn't hide what he is, a drone.  We need some industriousness and dedication to the group or when it starts to sprinkle, our colony will most definitely be carried away.
But there is a way, we can fortify our nest, and the means to do so are all around us.  Our police force, our politicians, the CIA, the FBI, and even the DEA all have a hand in it, or else the ‘problem’ wouldn’t be as bad.  It’s bad men paying off supposed ‘good’ men, and in turn those ‘good’ men just turn a blind eye to crimes they speak out against everyday.  Our problem is greed and hypocrisy, we are all too self-centered and self-righteous.  Our problem is a jail system that is jammed to a 134% capacity, 25% of those being able-bodied men who just couldn’t pay off the cop enough whenever they got stopped. 
Cocaine and Methamphetamines are the man made oil to our gears.  We must change now, and stop condemning these substances or our boat will sink.  Government sanctioned pure forms of the white lady and her icy friend would be fairly benign substances.  A lot less people would overdose because they did a bit too much Ajax with their stuff.  Caffeine, for example, drives Emerika on the surface, and if taken in a large enough quantity, it can be just as dangerous as any other drug.  Think about it, what are most Joe’s doing in the morning about 5 minutes before they leave for work?  He wakes up every single day and the first thing he does is make a fat cup of himself, for himself.  Why not instead of that usual weak cup of java, Joe just does a line of crystal out of his LEGAL stash and he’s ready to take on his day.  The Joe of the future is gonna be as good as ten Chinese men, and considering China has about a billion people on Emerika, that’ll give us better odds and a little extra advantage in any conflicts that are destined to arise.  And when it comes down to it, the army that never sleeps will win the fight, and there’s a whole army of meth-heads out there who never sleep, eat, or bathe; all they’d need is a little crack and they’re good for some war.  That fixes all of the problems with crack-heads and hobos out on the streets, by also fixing the problem with shortages in our military. So why do we insist on wasting perfectly good tax dollars keeping these hardworking individuals locked up?  The war on drugs can’t be won, and why would we even want to win it?  The war on drugs is a joke!  Only two percent of the drug mules crossing the border actually get caught and persecuted!  So then we’re left to ask, ‘if that’s the best they can do, why does the federal government plan on spending eight billion dollars alone on just stopping distribution this year alone?’  That’s not even including the rest of the other 18 billion that the department of homeland security has already set aside for their budget during the 2007 and 2008 fiscal years. 
         We already have millions of people who know how to and are willing to make it, all we do is slap em’ with a honorary chemistry degree from San Jac and give em a well ventilated room and the supplies.  The government could really end up banking if they would just listen to me.  Imagine walking into a drug store and instead of getting a bottle of no-doz for that big test, you grab a bag of some crystals instead.  It’s basically like every other high school or college kid I met in the last 5 years, excluding myself, take or have a prescription to Dexamphetamine for their ‘A.D.H.D.’, which is just the refined pill form of speed called by a fancy name like Adderall to throw people off.  Adderall is just the Amphetamine (speed) molecule bound to a salt molecule to make it less potent for kids.  But unlike Adderall, with straight meth you’re not only gonna get to study all night, but you’re up to take that test, and you might even have enough energy to go on a jog around the park, and hell you could probably write a few term papers while you’re at it, that’s how you stay on top of things.  Now disregard the college and high-school students for a second and look at it from a purely economical point of view.  First of all, if all the substances that could be beneficial to our society were legalized, sanctioned and regulated by the government, thousands of jobs would turn up single handedly solving the unemployment problems in out society.  But before this condoning of illegal substances I want to be the first to say, that for my plan to work, we cant go crazy and legalize everything, remember the point is production not individual pleasure, so we would have to keep this evil weed out of our midst.  I hear the kids talking about… Cannabis Sativa I think is what they call it…  Anyways these kids all talk about smoking it and just sitting on their couches watching T.V. and eating Cheetos all day, every day.  It maddens me to think that so much potential has gone to waste on our youths; so many hours they could have spent doing something more productive, just lost, forever.  And it is because of this will sapping substance that we are stuck with the decision of either letting all our children grow up to be stoned all the time, most likely living on the streets robbing old ladies to get anything they could trade for a joint, or we can stop them before they become crazed thieving bums high on THC and turn them all around.  These kids need motivation, and Amphetamines are the only way those worthless chronic burnin’ gummi bear eaters will be stopped.  It would save tax dollars and lives.  If cocaine were legalized, no drug lord in his right mind would pass up the opportunity to produce and market his product safely, and it would even turn him into a functioning part of society.  Fifty-five percent of the people currently incarcerated in the federal prison system were put in there because of some sort of non-violent drug charge.  I’m not, however, ignorant of the world, and I realize that people can’t be awake all the time.  Without sleep people die, and that’s why we wouldn’t just stop with Meth and Coke, it would go all the way, we’d have Crack and eXtasy too.  And then when you needed to rest you’d be able to go get some of that over-the-counter Heroin or Opium and slip away like a guy who just got Shanghaied.  And well as for the PCP, it goes without saying that it’s not good for much but helping you lift up things that weigh 20 times as much as you in a pinch.  It’s basically all gonna be legal, with the acceptance of  weed.  The addiction is why they’ll keep coming back to get more, they’ll work harder, and make more money, and since it’ll be legal.  It’ll even be even cheaper to support a meth habit with no narcotics laws in place so in the end it’s like everyone in the country is winning.  If the government taxed just one of these substances, they’d make millions off it; if no one could turn a massive profit from it then the government definitely wouldn’t be spending 8 billion a year to fight it.  Right there, with my plan, I would’ve already saved Emerika 13 billion dollars in just one year, and that’s on top of anything they’ll make from the taxes once they LEGALIZE IT.  To eliminate the illegal drug trade and take it over would drop millions, if not billions of dollars into the US economy OVER NIGHT.  Its utilitarianism, it helps everyone in the end, and perhaps in ten years when China gets the huevos to go to war with us we’ll have half an army that wont stop for any bullets and another half of human meat shields who couldn’t even feel their own decapitation, and we would dominate the world.  It would be Mercury, Venus, Emerika, and Mars.
The possibilities are endless, close your eyes for one second and imagine a world where no one was ever tired or hungry, and a school day could last fourteen periods instead of just seven, you could walk into Walmart grab a bottle of Vicodin and a sack of some uncut pure meth.  When people are given the will to work, they will deliver.  I whole-heartedly believe that the decriminalization of every known narcotic would not only boost the economy, but it would help kids do better in school.  The crime rate would plummet, but most of all, the government would profit from it generously.  That’s all that matters right? U.S.?