Cross my Heart and Hope to Die.

I'm wary of anyone who begins a conversation with "In all honesty..." It means they've thought a lot about it. It means that they have something ridiculously burdensome to pass on, something they've only realized after some grueling hours of feelings condensed into some complicatedly simple interpretation. Its a bomb and its going to blow up in front of me. I panic but, I don't show it. I stay calm and composed like a deer in headlights.

But, she speaks anyways, I can't stop it. She has me pinned in her arms in my bed.

"...I don't think we have a future together."

She finally drops it and I am relieved.

"Why?"

She shifts and buries her head into me muffling herself with the covers.

"Because...you, you're a fuck up and me, well I never really know what I'm doing."

I grin.

"Well, I think you knew what you were doing tonight," I say poorly imitating a sense of seriousness.

She bites me.

"Ow!"

"Jerk."

I laugh.

"We're messed up."

"No more than most people I would think."

"I don't even know you!"

"You know my name..."

"That's hard cause for letting you fuck me."

"I suppose...well, what do you want to know?"

"Do you have family?"

I look at her with a confused stare before I shake my head.

"Parents or siblings....or wife and kids?"

"Either."

"Neither."

"Okay."

I don't really know what she is thinking and it bothers me.

"You could have asked me anything about my life but, instead you want to know if I had family?"

"You could have been a married man for all I know."

"And would that make a difference at this point?"

She pauses, considering the question almost too carefully.

"No. You are rather...talented it seems."

I begin to laugh but, only a singular awkward grunt actually makes it out.

"I just wanted to know that you're a nice guy."

"A nice guy huh?"
I laugh rather loudly this time.

"What's so funny?" she asks with a frown.

"It's the 'nice' guys that fuck you over."

"You are so comforting," she says as she lets go of me and turns away. She tugs and unfair share of the sheets over to her and I am left half exposed. The conversation seems to lull for a moment and I'm more than happy to leave it to die. But, she revives it at the last second just to spite me.

"What do you do for living?"

I sit there and think for a moment. I consider all the things I could tell her. I grin and reply casually.

"I kill people."

This is me and I suppose that was the greatest truth I'd ever share with her.
It isn't about being honest.
Honesty is being.