the beginning

Have you ever depended on a man? Have you ever loved money so much that you would do any and everything to get it. Well thats how I used to think. My name is Caren Jackson and this is my story.

It all started when I was about 16 years old. I lived with my dad and my younger sister Carla. She was 13 years old. We looked exactly alike. We both were light skin with long hair. Our eyes were light brown. The only thing that made her look different was that she was much slimer than me. I was thicker with a cola shape body. I had it all.

My dad was a drunk. He would go to the bar all day and come home at night. I would come home from school and cook and c lean before he got home. When my dad came home he would stager all through the house. When he finally got ahold of me he would flang me on the bed and rip all my clothes off. He would have sex with me till the sun came up. I never said a word. I didn't even cry. I new better than to.My dad wasn't always like this anyway. He started to drink when my mother walked out on us. I was about 6 years old. My dad said she walked out on us because he caught her in the bed with with a women. After my mom walked out I never seen her again.

It was a warm summer night and my dad had just gotten from the bar. I had went into his room, because I knew if he had to look and find me I would get it worse. I waited for my dad and he never came up stairs. So I walked back downsatirs and I saw my dad stroking in and out of Carla.Carla just laid there in shock. Tears filled my eyes. I couldn't believe my dad would do this. I mean Carla was only 13 years. Why didn't he just take it from me. I mean I was young too but thats my baby sister. Pain and hate grew in my heart towards my dad.

About a couple of weeks had went pass. I woke up feeling dizzy and sick. I went to go tell my dad but of course he didn't care.

"Why are you telling me, go to the hospital then".

And thats exactly what I did. I got to the hospital around 10:30am. I didn't have to wait long. About 20 minutes later I went to the back. I waited patiently for the doctor to come. All kinds of thoughts ran through my mind. I mean I woke up out of no where sick. I mean could I be pregnant. The doctor walked in waking me up from my thoughts.

"We need you to take a pregnant test just in case thats why you're feeling sick".

I got up and went to the bathroom to take the test. My heart was beating fast. I came back out with a cup full of urine. The doctor took it and said wait five minutes. Five minutes later when the doctor came back he said that I was pregnat. I wanted to pass out . I walked out the doctors office with my head held down. I mean what would I do? What would my dad say even though it was his?