Forgetting

Two weeks since I saw you last time. It had never been this long, and you have never been this far. The phone doesn’t ring, messages don’t arrive. I try really hard to fill in the empty spaces, but I guess that eagerness makes it all go wrong, too fast, not right. Maybe I need to really feel it, to be able to overcome it. I’ve been fucking up things, I’m having a tough day.I miss you, but I will be quiet, I won’t bother, I won’t call. I will live this emptiness with myself, and it will go away with time. If only I had done things differently… or thought differently. We can’t go back in time and fix stuff, so that’s a lost case.

These two weeks were relatively easy without you, except for a couple of days. But why the hell do you come and hurt once again? You don’t mean to, and you don’t know you do, but it hurts. I just want to forget.

(Copenhagen, July 26th, 2005)