The Fix

This is my first published poem. Tell me what you think. It is in memory of a friend.

The inevitability of suicide
Is only a thoughtful action away,
With a single trigger-pull,
All my sins would bleed away.

Transgressions too many,
Too many transgressions.
Once I redo my will,
I can leave my possessions.

The pain so deep now
That never leaves or waits
For my resources to recover,
Always making it too late.

So if anyone needed me
To survive their own life,
It just might be worth it
To endure all this strife.

Once I become a doctor,
Once I make it that far,
I can help the many people
Who bear my same scars.

The inevitability of suicide
And my physician goal don't mix,
So it's one or the other -
The cure or the fix.