She

What does she want? She wants her life to have fulfilment. She wants to know that in some way, the world requires her to lift her head from her pillow each day. She wants love, and freedom. She wants to have clarity, to see the world with unbiased eyes. To accept and embrace every part of life, good and bad. To be appreciative of what she has been given in this chapter of her existence. She wants to have purpose. She wants to be needed, no, she NEEDS to be needed. She wants to be dependant, to know someone will look after her. She wants acceptance. She wants to know that people can be trusted. She wants to trust. She wants the people she loves to love her in return for her love, without having an alternative motive. She wants the world to love all and everything that is engulfed in it. She wants the world, including herself to see beyond a colour, or a feeling, and absorb a person's aura, to completely understand a being before passing judgement. She wants to be less judgemental, and ashamed. She needs comfort, not in a substance, but in an emotion. She wants assurance. To know in her heart what is right and pursue that one thing. She wants to understand herself. She wants to understand others. She hates this cage she lives in, the entrapment she suffers at every waking moment. She wants to be thanked. She wants to be genuine. To say how she feels when she feels it, not worrying about a reaction. She feels in debt to the world. She wants to be less conceited. She is guilty. She wants to seek forgiveness, from not only others but from herself. She believes the world should judge her harsher then she is judged by her own eyes. She wishes she would learn faster from her mistakes. She wishes she never made mistakes. She wishes her life wasn't built on regret. She dwells, and is saddened by her own choices. She longs control, not over others but over herself and her own life path. She wishes she could not feel. She hates feelings. She tries to block them out, and build barriers to protect herself from them, but eventually her defence isn't adequate. She encases herself in them, indulging in each feeling. She cannot handle her feelings, and when set free she writhes, in pain, possessed by her heart. It is these moments she makes mistakes. Her biggest one acknowledging the power of these feelings, urges, chemical reactions in her body, which make her hate, love, trust. It is at these times she is weakest. She fights the possession, the possession of her feelings, she wants nothing more than control over herself. She knows she is alone, and these feelings that possess her only give her false hope of what she needs, happiness. Eventually her possession is gone, she has performed an exorcism on herself. Her body is a vacant piece of anatomy. No emotion, no feelings, no life.
She, is dead.