Confessions of a Brother

Update:
Someone was nice enough to point out some grammatical errors so I took and fixed it up some. Also, I spaced it out a little more to make it a little easier to read. (Hope I got all the "Writer's Blocks" out! Ha! ha! Writing humor. I know, I know, kind of a corny joke.)
End of Update.

I fixed a bunch of typos sorry about those!
Yes I am a Sesshomaru fan!
Yes this is easier to understand if you've seen the anime. And/or a couple of the movies.
(Sorry I should have mentioned that before!)


Confessions of a Brother
By TigerFan
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Sesshomaru stood there, on a cliff that overlooked a human village that lay nestled below, and looked up at the night sky. The stars twinkled brightly and the moonlight illuminated the village. Earlier that day, when they’d decided to make camp for the night at this spot Jaken and Rin had left to find food and Sesshomaru waited patiently for them to return. To pass the time he watched the villagers doing this, that and the other. Completely random, sometimes mundane things, One person would be buying something while another was just lazing about, watching everyone else. And then there were the children in the village. He’d watched them too, for lack of anything better to do. He saw them playing their silly little games, watched as they hid from one another while another child tried to find them. Then he saw two small boys, brothers no doubt, playing together. Then the one who appeared to be the eldest of the two stood up for the younger one when the others began to pick on him and taunt him because he was smaller.

He couldn’t understand why his thoughts turned suddenly to Inuyasha as he watched the two brothers. But reflecting on it now he realized it was the same thoughts that usually came about when he didn’t have anything else to think about. The things he tried so hard not to think about because thinking about them made him feel weak and helpless. He thought about his father, what he would say if he could see him and Inuyasha, how they fight as enemies rather than fighting side by side as brothers should. “Father, if you hadn’t died would things somehow be different?” He asked aloud knowing there would be no answer to be found. His thoughts continued to circulate; he blamed Inuyasha for their father's death though he knew that there had been nothing the infant Inuyasha could have done that would have made a difference. Still, that was the easiest way to deal with it. His thoughts turned to the swords, Tetsusaiga and Tensaiga, how it seemed Inuyasha was favored by their father because he was bequeathed Tetsusaiga and Sesshomaru was left with Tensaiga. Sesshomaru thought about it and realized just how foolish it had been to dwell on that so much, Inuyasha needed the Tetsusaiga more than he did and obviously there was a reason he was given Tensaiga and it would become known in time. Sesshomaru let out a deep sigh.

Sesshomaru looked down at the quiet village, thinking of those two brothers.
‘Brothers’ or ‘Half-Brothers’? Anyone who has ever referred to him and Inuyasha as siblings has usually said that they were ‘Brothers’ not ‘Half-Brothers’ even though they are half-brothers. He thought about that for a moment, ‘Half-Brothers… Even so, we’re still brothers. We still share our father’s blood; we’re both like him in some ways, and like each other in others.’ He thought.

He sighed again. Sesshomaru stared at the village a moment longer before looking at the sky again, he saw a shooting star fly through the other stars and disappear in an instant. He began to think about Inuyasha again, he had given Inuyasha so many reasons to hate him. He had tried to steal his Tetsusaiga on several occasions, even though he couldn’t touch it for more than a few minutes let alone fight with it, He’d shown him no respect, taunted and insulted him and worst of all, he’d even tried to kill Inuyasha more than once. Some example of ‘brother hood’ they had been. Sesshomaru compared his and Inuyasha’s behavior to that of the little brothers he’d seen in that village, those two obviously cared for each other but he and Inuyasha hated each other, or so it seemed.


Sesshomaru realized that there had been times when he could have easily finished Inuyasha off, but he didn’t, no matter how many time the opportunity presented itself he hadn’t killed Inuyasha. Why? Because he just didn’t have it in him to do it, no matter how many time he would threaten to do it or come so close to doing so, he just couldn’t. He couldn’t kill Inuyasha. And it wasn’t just cause he knew his father would be turning in his grave if he did, no matter how much he would deny it, Sesshomaru did care about his younger brother.

As he stood there, staring at the moon and stars Sesshomaru again thought about how different things could be between him and Inuyasha. As those thoughts were running through his mind the gentle evening breeze picked up. The leaves in the trees shuddered and the blades of grass swayed softly in the gentle breeze. Then something caught Sesshomaru’s attention. Some paper under Rin’s arm was swaying in the breeze. Sesshomaru looked down at Rin and saw that she had been drawing pictures on the paper, no doubt it and the strange writing implements were the ‘gift’ she had said that girl Kagome had given her when she had gotten separated from him and Jaken only to wind up with Inuyasha and his friends earlier that day.

As Sesshomaru reached down and took the papers to examine them the breeze began to die down. Sesshomaru looked at Rin’s drawings, some of him or Jaken, others of Inuyasha and his friends. As Sesshomaru neared the last page a drawing caught his eye. It was of him and Inuyasha, standing side by side, not to fight, but with smiles on their faces and getting along. Sesshomaru read what Rin wrote on the top. ‘lord Sesshomaru and Inuyasha. Maybe someday they’ll be like that.’ Sesshomaru looked at it for a moment, and then looked at the last piece of paper, it was blank. He took the paper and put the others back under Rin’s arm. He looked at the writing implements and picked one up and began to write on the paper.


**********************************Confessions of a Brother:**********************************

I know what you must think of me, selfish, cold, uncaring and with a heart of stone. I’m sure you think that I think of you as a disgrace, a thorn in my side or a bane to my existence, but do you ever wonder if it’s true? If maybe I don’t think of you that way? I know I’ve given you no reason think I care and every reason to hate me but do you really think it’s true? That I don’t love you the way a brother should? Though I wouldn’t say it to you or to anyone really, I do care.

My heart is not made of stone as I would have so many believe. In fact, it’s as fragile as your own, and just as easily broken and bruised. I know I have no right to say these things to you after everything I’ve done to hurt you, break you and beat you down, but as I sit here, pouring my feelings out in an attempt to clear my conscience, I realize that I deeply regret all those things I’ve done and wish I could apologize, but I know that you wouldn’t listen so I won’t.

Not to your face but with these words I write, though you probably won’t read this. If by some strange twist of fate you find this and read it, know that I mean every word of it, and that even though I’ve said and done the very opposite, I do care about you and no matter how many times I’ve said I’d kill you, I could never do that, the truth is you’re my brother and though I don‘t show it I care about you. I know I’ve no right to try and sound like a caring older brother after everything I’ve said and done before and will likely say and do in the future but this is the truth, the honest truth. My letter, my confession, is finished now. I won’t say it out loud but I will say it with these words, I’m truly sorry for everything, if I could take it all back I would.
I love you my dear little brother.

Know that it’s true, even if I never say it out loud.
*********************************************The end*******************************************
(F.Y.I. Writing implement=Crayon)