Dairy Woes

Utterly grotesque views on dairy products (craving one star ratings)

"Cool Whip in Haiku"

Whipped cream's no delight
when made with sugar and eggs
yet no milk in sight.



"That Nasty Substance"

Crumbly and blue in my salad
with an overbearing flavor,
it turns a decent salad bad,
and that salad I can no longer savor.

With an overbearing flavor,
it coats the roof of my mouth,
and that salad I can no longer savor-
raped by the crud in my mouth.

It coats the roof of my mouth
in all its blue and white glory.
Raped by the crud in my mouth,
a salad, because of the cheese, can't share its story.

In all its blue and white glory,
the blue cheese in one's mouth sits.
A salad, because of the cheese, can't share the story,
unless an eater wisely spits.

The blue cheese in one's mouth sits,
reminiscent of a virus.
Unless an eater wisely spits,
this dairy malady will undo us