Absent

Dig this blade a little deeper across my skin,
I want to release all the pain from within.

23 years I've spent chasing a dream,
All of this pain makes me want to scream.

Where in the hell have u been?
Do you see these scars on my skin?

Each one was a new place I cried,
Each one a step closer to suicide.

I keep reaching for your hand out of this ugliness,
Trying to get over your extensive absence.

How were you able to look at yourself in the mirror?
Did it really ever bother you your daughter's not here?

Why not walk into court insist with a judge?
Tell him you wanted me and you won't budge.

Was I not worth fighting for?
Why wouldn't you do more?

Where were you when I'd scraped both my knees?
Where were you when I climbed the highest trees?

Where were you when he would sweat all over me?
Where were you when he wouldn't let me free?

Where were you when I was put on honor roll?
Where were you when I kicked my first goal?

Where were you when I started doing drugs?
Where were you when I went out with thugs?

Where were you when I went to rehab that October?
Where were you when I was working to get sober?

Where were you when I had a gun to my head?
Where were you when I wished I were dead?

Where were you when he would hit me?
Where were you when he went on a drug spree?

Where were you when I got the courage to leave?
Where are you now while I grieve?

This is just the same old story on a new day,
It hurts you always choose to stay away.

I know I was replaced a very long time ago,
you could've tried harder not to let me know.