South Ride

People may not know this, but the United States plummets off the face of the planet about 20miles North of the Southern border and then doesn't reemerge for another 60 miles. I guess that I could call this dispatches from the middle of nowhere from a nobody. It is weird to get to the point that you realize that you will most likely have no real affect on the world, and that things will go by as they would always go by with or without you. It is liberating as well because it makes me feel like a freight hopper, a thief stealing away a ride that costs the train nothing, but could still to be considered theft if you think about it. And that is what I have come to, like writing love letters and sticking them into bottles and tossing them off this screaming train into the night. At the heart of all this, I played no part in the construction of this train, I did not lay the track, and she cares little for when I disembark whether it will be slipping off from weakness, or jumping off of my own accord.

Right now I am motoring through Nogales Arizona on my way to Mexico and beyond. I am a graveyard person, I care little for where I sleep, and for that matter I don't really care about much. Which is not to say that I am not a serious person. But my favorite books include Catch 22 and Tropic of Cancer, the spirituality of irreverence which I only wish I could capture in my own writing. My least favorite books in the world would include The Fountain Head and Tuesdays with Morrie for its reverence of pretentiousness.

I still believe in hope but I don’t expect it. But if you don’t expect anything you breathe hope like air and it passes through you without notice. I used to have a girlfriend, and she would go on about how she has such an old soul and I guess this would double as a round about way of saying she finds herself really wise, which is in turn another way of calling yourself an arrogant jackass. I have no premonition about having gone through this before. I’m like a baby before they ever went to Sunday school. Like a hobo, hijacking a ride off of God’s back.