Me,Myself and I! (updated: 08/01/08)

Warning!: This item is classified as non-intelligent and may result in severe memory loss or metal illness. The author will not take credit for any harm committed to any reader for reading the disturbingly crazy/stupid posts submitted to this item. Side effects include the monkey-virus, drug addiction, epilepsy, suicidal attempts, drowsiness, indigestion, run-against-the-wall disease, severe crippling and reduced IQ.

Storyline:

A long time ago...which was not too long at all, 16 almost 17 years ago to be exact....Lithia (bless her), was born.

I (rudely interrupting): Of course I was the most important part of Me!
Me: *smacks I* Get over yourself without me there would be no Myself or I, end of story.

Lithia, cursed at birth, grew up with the greatest challenge of all: Myself and I....who lived their life to annoy Me. Myself being her godly form and I being the devil. The evil witch who had brought her good and bad personality to real life would have Lithia fighting with them for the rest of her life.
They get trapped in Nowhere, the imaginary island surrounded by sulfur, where anything is possible. Upon arriving there, no one knows how (no one knows they're even there), they immediately show their true nature.


Character:

Me: Also known as Lithia, the main character. Short to 17, crazy phuck! And extremely irritated by the constant nagging of Myself and I.

I: Also known as Isa, the devil of the gang destined to make everything evil and more exciting. Masculine and loves making Me get involved in risky tasks.

Myself: Also known as Myrta, the holy character of the story. She tries to keep balance but in doing so opposes everything I intends for the feisty bunch. Tries to walk on the safe side.


Last Words:

So what I'm crazy...Fucking sue me!!!! Now go read my fun adventures and shut up

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ACT 1:

Entrance of Isa:

Leaning against a solitary boulder, feet crossed, Isa lifts his left arm to his mouth to light his cigarette. A lazy gaze crosses his face as he disregards Lithia and Myrta, lending them not the slightest consideration even though without them he would be no more. He flicked his lighter open to finally satisfy himself with the nicotine when a hand grabbed it out of his mouth and threw it on the ground.

Myrta: "That's bad for us!" She scolded like a protective mother would her child.

Isa: Pushing himself off of the boulder he frowns at Myrta "Oy! Just because you give a shit doesn't mean I have to jump in that boat wit' ya!"

Myrta: "You wanna kill all of us just because of some stupid addiction?"

Isa leaned his wait forward getting ready to engage in combat with his mortal enemy. Just as he began walking forward Lithia stopped him in his track with a forceful push.

Lithia: "Will you two cut it out...just for five pissin' minutes so I can figure out where we are?"

Isa, slowly calming down, though still extremely irritated leaned back against the boulder and retrieved another cigarette from his pocket. Myrta shot him a cheesy grin, cheesy for onlookers but for Myrta that was the only real way to grin at a man.

Myrta: "You're just gonna let him waste our lungs like that?" She scolded me too.

Lithia: "I'd rather have him smoke his bud than you two nagging nuisances fighting like a bunch of babies! Yes!"

Myrta crossed her arms and left Lithia and Isa, sitting down on the solid ground a few meters to the left. Isa chuckled under his breathe, smirking and shaking his head at Myrta before returning his attention to his cigarette.
Inhaling deeply he looked up at the foggy mountains surrounding them exhaling the lethal smoke into the fresh air. Lithia was still scanning the area frowning at the eerie feeling she had.

Isa: "Find anything yet Ms. I'm-better-than-all-of-you?"

Lithia: "Grow some balls and smoke your cig Isa, and stop getting on my nerves!" She scowled furiously.

Pushing off from his solitary boulder once more he came up behind Lithia, not lending any attention to the sulking Myrta. Placing his head next to her ear he exhaled toxic waste into her face.

Isa: "I'm not the one plannlessly starring at the horizon" He hissed.

Lithia: "I'm not the one who's about to feel an unbearable pain in my groin" She hissed back.

Isa: "A bit feisty again are we?"

Lithia: "ok now you're just pushing your luck!"

Myrta finally finding the courage to remix with the crowd, got to her feet and waltzed back over to Lithia and Isa, staying on the side of Lithia where Isa wasn't standing. Isa circled around to the other side of Lithia still puffing his cig lousily, raising an eyebrow at the unnatural surrounding.

Isa: "My My, what have you gotten us into this time..."

Lithia: "Didn't I tell you to shut up and let me think, god damn it Isa!"

Myrta: "Typical men, can't think straight and only live to complicate things" She added crossing her arms in front of her again with a precise: "HM!"

Isa, having just lifted his bud to his mouth again leaned only his upper body back to look past Lithia at Myrta with a dull expression.

Isa: "And that comes form an ass kissing, complain-about-everything, like yourself?"

Myrta "Oh choke on the cigarette will you!"

Lithia: "Enough! Why don't both of you go into opposite directions until I've figured this out and shut the hell up? How 'bout it?"

Isa: "Whatever Pandora"

Isa flicked the filter of his used cig into the bush and walked away, leaning against a tree in the shade. After a short while Amelia suddenly had an input, running away from Isa, Myrta and her accelerated. As they passed the 100 meter limit, Isa was zapped forward toward Lithia as if punched by an invisible force. Landing on the hard floor and sliding on for a few meters he came to a halt a few meters away from Lithia and Myrta. Looking extremely angry he got to his feet dusting himself off.

Isa: "For fucks sake, at least tell me if you're gonna run away like that. Shit! That fucking hurt!"

Lithia: "You always claim to be so observing...couldn't you look and see us walking away?"

Isa "Idiot I was napping!"

Lithia: "Well then nap! Stop complaining about everything!"

Isa: "You know as well as I do that the curse doesn't allow me to go further than 100 meters from you! You could have warned me but you like to see me suffer right? Damn women always stick together!"

Lithia: "First of all...this cheesy god obsessive angel freak isn't a woman, and second of all...stop being and ungrateful ass! I could kill you so pull it together, you are man...men don't whine!"

Cursing under his breathe he walked closer to Lithia and Myrta, eying them in disgust as Lithia continued to look at what she had found before. She bent down runnign her fingers through the weird dirt, getting astonished glares from Myrta and grunting mocks from Isa.

Isa: "So where the hell are we?"

Myrta: "Will you stop cursing...you'll end up sending Lithi to hell with you!"

Isa: "Hey! Fairy queen...stay out of it will ya! At least she doesn't crawl up people's asses!"

Myrta: "You are just--"

Lithia: "Shut up! Damn you guys, you're really starting to piss me off!"

Isa: "She started it! Now where are we?"

Lithia: "We're Nowhere..."

Isa: "Are you trying to get me irritated?"

Lithia: "No idiot we're in Nowhere!"

Isa: "Do you think this is really the right time for your smart jokes?"

Myrta: "You really are stupider than you seem....this place is called 'Nowhere'!"

Isa: "Oy!, Do the world a favor and take that branch 'n shove it up your angelic ass will ya!"

Myrta: Gasps in shock, "May the lord have mercy on your ignorant, black soul"

Isa: "And keep the sandal lover out of this too...this is between me and you!"

Lithia didn't hesitate to punch both of them in their arguing faces, flinging them back a few meters. She gazed at her hands in astonishment, her powers must have grown in Nowhere, she had never punched anyone so hard. Seeing that both of them were finally out cold she lied down and decided to sleep some too before the night came.

End of Act 1.

___________________________________________________________________

ACT 2:

Bonding

Waking up to the irritated feeling of something heavy on top of her, Lithia looks up to find Isa sitting on top of her and Myrta looking at her from above her head. Lithia frowns, confused as to why the two naggers were kidnapping her, but after seeing their somewhat pissed expressions and remembering what happened earlier her frown disappeared.

Lithia: "Well you did refuse to shut up so somebody had to do something...I mean I'll say it once, twice even three times but after a while it gets aggravating!"

Myrta "See? I told you she had a good excuse Isa, now let her go!"

Isa: Coldly, "Shut it! That's not an excuse..."

Lithia: "Get over yourself, it was one damn punch...you'll live! Christ!"

Isa: "That wasn't your ordinary punch, it was fucking super-sized!"

Lithia: "Well we are in Nowhere, powers tend to become stronger here, now get off me."

Lithia pushes Isa off of her with great attempt, he was pretty strong, and shuffled to her feet. Sighing she ignored Isa, who was cursing under his breathe. Myrta meanwhile, still smiling happily like always, stood silently beside Lithia as if awaiting instructions.

Lithia: "I need to go take a piss" she said a bit too loudly.

Leaving the two stranded where they were, Lithia went to look for the appropriate bush. Finding a tiny bush she stepped in its center, pulled down her pants and stooping down so only her head remained revealed. Suddenly, placing Lithia in a great state of shock, Isa came up beside her and sat down on the ground in front of her.

Lithia: "What the hell are you doing?!" she scolded embarrassed.

Isa: "Well excuse me, but I don't intend to get flung through the air again just because you decide to get 100 meters away form us!"

Lithia: "Yea but you could at least turn your back to me...sheesh!"

Isa: "Nah, I like watching."

Lithia: "Bloody pervert,

Isa: "Hey even I like a bit of action now and again!

Lithia: "you're a devil! You don't even have feelings!"

Isa: "Doesn't mean I don't get horny..."

Lithia: "Eeeeew, I don't wanna know that...that's like telling me you masturbate!"

Isa: "Actually I do, now that you mention it."

Lithia turned her head to the side snapping her eyes closed in disgust.

Lithia: "I really didn't need to know that Isa, that's just wrong"

Isa: "Why you don't masturbate?"

Lithia: "That's none of your god damn business!!!"

Isa: "Actually it IS my business since I'm part of you...."

Myrta: Popping up from seemingly nowhere "You're just gross."

Lithia: "Yes thank you for noticing. HEY! Why are you here too? What is this...a piss-conference?"

Isa: Turns to Myrta "Shut it!"

Myrta: "You shut it!" Turning back to Lithia "Well I wasn't too sure how far you'd gone, and judging form the powerful, yet well deserved fling Isa got before I figured I wouldn't be willing to test it."

Lithia: "Man can't a girl pee in peace?"

Isa got annoyed by Myrta's rude statement, extending his hand to throw a fireball at her. At the same time Myrta blocked with a white, heavenly light both of them piercing the other with lethal eye contact.

Lithia: "HEY! I said there will be no use of that as long as I'm around!"

Isa: "Don't be ignorant you're always around."

Lithia: "Precisely the reason why I made that rule!"

Isa: "Besides she deserves it for her nasty mouthing off all day."

Myrta: "Look who's talking about deserving it, you're the one disturbing the peace of our harmony constantly. If anyone deserves leaving us then it'd most likely be you!"

Lithia, pulling up her pants after she had given up trying to pee in peace, jumped to her feet to stop the two. Fortunately and unfortunately for they were stopped before she could make contact by a deafening roar followed by a loud thump. The pack of them went silent in awe, wondering what that might have been, and in their trance all uknowingly got closer to one another for protection.


End of Act 2.

___________________________________________________________________