First Chapter

CHAPTER 1
Love is all that I can give you, love is more than just a game for two, oh how I love that song. I sashay through the door tripping ever so slightly on the piece of carpet that has forever stuck up.
‘Evan I need to fix that bloody carpet’ I yell out to my flat mate.
‘No darling’ says Evan his head poking around from the kitchen ‘Bob needs to do that like he promised’ I laugh.
‘Yeah like he promised to stop having his music on so loud at night and yet it’s been three years’ I let the sentence trail as I read my post. Why am I only ever getting bills and junk mail? Can’t I perhaps just once get something interesting like a letter from a long lost uncle or something? I shove it back on the window sill promising myself I will do it later, and drag my weary body to the front room. I roll over the arm and land hard on the sofa which for some unknown reason squirms and goes ‘ouch’. I stand up and pull the blanket off and lo and behold it’s my brother Alex.
‘Stupid cow’ is his disdained reply at my nerve.
‘Well im sorry for daring to sit on MY sofa in MY flat’ I push his feet out of the way which seem to be on some spring lock and swing back to the resting position before I can sit.
‘Get off my couch you waster’.
‘No I was here first’
‘Yeah well I pay the rent now move’ I sit on his legs with a bounce making sure it hurts and relax back. He wriggles his legs trying to get them out from under my butt. ‘Don’t you have your own flat to doss in?’
‘Yes but yours is tidier and full of food’ says Alex with a smarmy grin. Sometimes I could really hit him. I flick through the channels purely to annoy.
‘Well I don’t mind you being here so much just as long as you haven’t touched my pralines’ I look at Alex as I sense him stiffen and I feel my chest begin to heave. Oh if he has he is so going to die tonight.
‘You didn’t’
‘I didn’t know’ didn’t bloody know? Of course he knew I only do it like every night! I hit him on the arm as hard as I can feeling my body tingle with indignant anger.
‘What was that for’ he says rubbing his arm.
‘You know that my after work treat is pralines you shit’ I screech. I can imagine dogs all over the neighborhood are sitting up listening to me.
‘Yeah well I was hungry’ that’s it! I pounce on him my hands wrapping themselves around his neck. I am going to throttle him properly this time. I am so fed up with his arrogant annoying pain in the arse attitude. Dossing in my flat all the time, eating all MY food and then not even saying sorry or anything.
‘You are such an inconsiderate bastard, you always do stuff like this, you always have, and even growing up you did it to just annoy me’
‘Well if you weren’t so obsessed with food perhaps you wouldn’t be such a psycho’ we yell and scream as we fall to the floor knocking the coffee table out of the way. He grabs my hair yanking my eyes open so I bite his upper arm, practically the only place I can reach with my teeth.
‘Arch, what are you an animal’ he says grunting. He wraps his legs around my middle and squeezes me tight. Aw man that hurts he’s going to break a rib im sure of it.
‘Owwww, you stupid shit head’ I scream as I hit him anywhere trying to get him off me. I start pinching in a last desperate attempt.
Evan and John watch from the sidelines each licking a chocolate spoon.
‘Fiver says it’s a break up’ says John.
‘No way Johnny boy she is going to kill him, she’s full of rage from work’
‘Not a chance she’s strong but she can’t beat him’ they both wince as I hit Alex round the head with my elbow and a resounding ‘Arrrrgggghhh’ comes from Alex.
‘Ill take that bet John’ says Evan with a winning smile. They both perch on the sofa egging us on. By now Alex has me in a leg lock and it feels like it is going to snap.
‘Stop it you’re gonna break it ow please’ he doesn’t stop and as I struggle to get out of it his elbows flies back and whacks me hard in the nose.
‘Oh shit you dickhead’ Alex crawls off me and I clutch my face in my hands. Oh no that really hurts, shit, shit, shit, that’s a killer. That’s got to be broken? John kneels down and puts my head on his thighs.
‘Move your hands Evy I can’t see’
‘It hurts’ I say pointing out the obvious. Tears are running down my cheeks.
‘I know it does, but I need to see come on’ he manages to remove my hands from my throbbing nose and I watch him studying it.
‘I think it’s just bruised, we should put a cold flannel on it to bring out the bruising, make it heal quicker.’ He helps me to my feet and for good measure I give Alex a good hard kick in the back of the knee.
‘Ah you bitch; you know I have knee trouble’ he says writhing on the floor in pain clutching his leg.
‘Yeah well you broke my nose dick head’ I let John guide me to the toilet, my nose feeling more and more swollen as time goes by. John has his arm around my waist and I can’t help but feel a little tense. Once in the bathroom he sits me on the toilet and peers at my nose.
‘What’s the diagnosis doc?’
‘You’ll never play rugby again im afraid’
We both laugh as he places a damp flannel on my face. Ah more pain.
‘Any blood, cuts, gore of the most horrifying kind?’
‘Im afraid not kitten, just a small cut’ we laugh and fall into convivial silence. Is it hot in here or is it me? For some reason John’s close proximity is making me nervous. I haven’t really been alone since the party at the weekend where we ended up kissing in the kitchen. Well I say kissing but we were practically having a heavy petting session on the table. John is my brother’s best friend and it is such a cliché for me to fancy him but I can’t help it, he’s great and knows me so well that he doesn’t care that I pick scabs or chew gum obsessively.
‘I should so kill him for this’ I say rather nasally.
‘What would you do with the body?’
‘Eat it’ we both laugh and fall back to silence. Oh man I hate this. Ever since the party we have been really awkward.
‘So how was work today? Oh how’s Tricia the sex harlot from Personnel?’
‘She wore a see through top today’ he says with a grimace. That’s another great thing about him, he likes his gals to be classy not smutty.
‘She did not’
‘Oh she did, had all the men in the office drooling on their laps’
‘Even you’ I ask teasingly.
‘You know me well enough Evy, I don’t like tarts’ I nod my head.
‘Yeah but all guys have needs’ I say seductively. Oh my am I actually flirting? Ok here’s the deal, I would love to date him, it’s been ten years coming but my biggest worry is Alex. As you saw previously our family has a violent streak, his being more active than mine. And to put it in short, the last one of his friends who tried it on with me ended up with a broken leg. I would hate for John to be removed from my life, I don’t think I would be able to bear it.
‘Well until you start putting out I guess ill have to entertain myself’ I blush and lean back shutting my eyes trying to keep my breathing steady. After god knows how long John eventually takes the flannel off gently. I stand up and look in the mirror and my face falls.
‘I look like I have had plastic surgery’
‘Luckily you wont need it, im pretty sure it’s not broken, ill just stick a plaster on the cut’ I study it. Looks broken to me but I guess I should listen to him, he’s a rugby player so he should know.
‘Do you make this much fuss when you get them?’
‘I scream the house down baby’ we laugh and he says suddenly ‘What were you fighting about?’
‘Im just fed up with him coming here and dossing AND eating my pralines, I wish he would sod off to his own place’
‘I know, but in all honesty your place is so much more comfortable, homier’ he is standing close to me as he places the plaster on my nose, his hands working gently.
‘Yeah well I don’t mind you hanging around here; you don’t eat my pralines’
‘And I decorate the room’
‘Very true’ I say with a smile. He certainly does, an erotic scene suddenly flashes across my mind and I feel myself blush.
‘Why have you gone all red?’ he asks his hands on my shoulders.
‘It’s just hot that’s all, anyway thanks for the help’ I scuttle past him and back to the lounge.
‘Ah just in time my lovely, dinner is ready’ says Evan taking off his pink frilly apron. I laugh to myself; he will make a great house husband one day. I plod into the kitchen after him, put on my most puppy dog face and say, ‘I need a hug’. He pulls me into his arms.
‘What have I said about fighting with him?’
‘I know I know its just he’s such an inconsiderate pig’ I should the last bit for Alex’s benefit.
‘I love you too sis’ is the reply.
‘Come on children, its dinner time’ shouts Evan as I sit down at the table my mouth salivating at the smell of Tikka Masala with rice.
‘Well well look who it is’ I look round and see Joe and Amie enter, husband and wife and the most lovely couple. They moan about each other a lot and say how much the hate marriage but the truth is they adore each other.
‘Hey guys’ we hug and then all settle down for dinner as Alex and John come in too. Joe is Evans brother and Aimee is John’s cousin, all very complicated but great in a way.
‘So you been playing doctors and nurses again Evy?’ says Joe with a wink.
‘No, Alex broke my nose’
‘It’s not broken’ says Alex rolling his eyes.
‘Is’
‘Isn’t’
‘Is’
‘Isn’t’
‘Oh shut up’
‘No you shut up’
‘Will you both shut up’ says John raising his arms in exasperation.
‘It’s only because they are going to see their parents together this Sunday, always brings their hatred for one another out’ says Evan digging into his dinner, a meal I taught him to cook. Since he was ‘between jobs’ he had taken over all household chores which both annoys and pleases me.
‘I don’t hate him’
‘People, am I missing out on something?’ says Joe grinning ‘Perchance another fight?’
‘Well didn’t you wonder how my nose got so bruised and swollen’ I say pointing at the offending appendage.
‘No I thought it was always like that’ I throw my fork at him and miss his laughing face.
‘Anyway people dig in the food won’t eat itself’ says Evan gesturing whilst passing me my fork back. There are a couple of moments of silence whilst we all taste the food.
‘You like?’
‘Oh god Evan, you so need to become a chef’ says Jacob squirming in pleasure.
‘Agreed’ we all say unanimously thumping our cutlery on the table in unison.
‘Nah I couldn’t possibly, I really want to get back into fashion?’ says Evan playing with his rice.
‘Why?’ says Joe.
‘Because I love it, im great at it and its all im actually trained for’
‘If you call making your mothers wedding dress ‘official’ training then I am officially trained as a wanker’ everyone laughs at Joes comment.
‘Yeah but aren’t, most guys’ says John.
‘Here here’ Evan and I say together
‘But seriously Evan, you could do one of those evening classes whilst working by day in some crappy restaurant, it will be hard but worth it’ says John looking if possible even sexier, or is that the wine? Oh my glass is empty.
‘I don’t know if I can be bothered’ says Evan.
‘Well if it stops you making me these meals every night then I don’t think I want you to be bothered either’ I add nodding in a smart manner.
‘I think more food is suiting you too Evy, you look healthier’ says Joe with a cheeky wink.
‘You calling me fat?’
‘No I just think you had lost too much weight, you’re not made to be thin Evy’
‘I hardly call a size 14 thin Joe’
‘I like curvier women, something to hold onto’ says John with a suggestive smile.
‘Well ill be sure to eat you’re share of pudding then’
‘You don’t need that as an excuse love’ says Joe, to much laughter.
‘Cant a gal enjoys her food nowadays without comments being made?’ says Amie tartly.
‘No you bloody can’t wench’ she kicks Joe under the table and he jumps, as we all laugh.
‘So John, how’s the ex-girlfriend, still shagging that 20 year old?’ says Alex with an evil grin.
‘No she got bored of him and ran off with his brother’
‘God what an awful woman, I would never do that to a boyfriend’ I say noticing my plate is the first one to be empty.
‘What boyfriend, you haven’t been laid for 6 months’ says Alex.
‘Just because I haven’t got a boyfriend Al doesn’t mean I haven’t been having sex’
‘Yeah but vibrators don’t count’ says Evan, to much sniggering.
‘Ill have you know I actually had sex with Ranj the other night’ ok this is a downright lie but ends and means!
‘What, curry boy are you kidding me?’ says Joe aghast.
‘Why Ranj?’ says John.
‘Well you weren’t putting out so I had to settle’ I say with a seductive smile and a quick squeeze of his knee.
‘Are you serious?’ says Alex.
‘Yes why wouldn’t I be, he’s a nice bloke’
‘Yeah a nice crazy bloke Evy’
‘Yeah well its not like im going to marry him, it’s just a bit of casual fun, take away the monotony of my life’
‘Evy please, you know you can knock on my door anytime’ says Joe receiving another kick under the table.
‘Yeah if I want Chlamydia ill be sure to call’
‘Hey, ill have you know that I was cleared a couple of weeks back’, everyone laughs including Amie.
‘Anyway lads I don’t exactly see you guys with woman fawning all over you, the apparent sex gods that you think you are just doesn’t seem apparent to ladies these days’ says Amie coming to my defense again bless her.
‘Hey ill have you know I got three phone numbers last night’ says Alex.
‘Yeah but your own mother doesn’t count’ I say to much ‘aws’.
‘What about you John, good looking rugby playing guy like yourself should have women fawning all over you’ says Joe ruffling his dark hair.
‘Women these days are just interested in sex, not anything long term’ says John morosely picking his food and trying to look like a martyr.
‘Well duh, mate that’s what it’s all about, right Al’
‘Hell yeah brother, you need to get yourself a nice blonde chick and pow-wow her until you get bored and then move onto the next’ says Alex doing lewd actions.
‘Oh yes because you have a string of ladies on your heels’ I say rolling my eyes. He will forever believe himself to be a sex god because Kate Moss asked him to dance once.
‘Well I think the day and age is for gays, what with civil ceremonies being legal and all’ says Evan with a pout.
‘Awwww lesbians, hoo-yah’ said Joe giving Alex a high five.
‘You two are such jerks’ says Amie clearing the plates away. Whilst Evan finished the pudding. At the table Joe and Alex are man talking about lesbian fantasies so I turn to John.
‘I am so surprised you put up with us’
‘Hey you’re my extended family now; I couldn’t get rid of you if I tried’ I laugh and feel myself tingle as he squeezes my knee.
‘Anyway I love you guys, why would I want to get rid of you?’
‘Because we’re all deranged’
‘Who isn’t nowadays’ we laugh and stare at each other for a moment. I so want to be bad and just drag him to my room and as Alex so eloquently put it Pow Wow him until morning breaks. I decide against and instead say ‘So how’s the big bad world of Marketing?’
‘Oh you know, big and bad, we got this huge Nike contract today which I am hoping to get, it’s a woman’s line’
‘Well ill help you anytime you want, you know being a woman and all, kind of helps’
‘How about tonight, you could come over for a night cap?’ My heart starts to beat faster.
‘Sure, that will be good, as long as there’s wine involved’
‘I wouldn’t dream of inviting you without it, I got your favorite Black Tower Rose’
‘Mmmm, you bad boy’ I laugh and then realize he must have been counting on me offering to come round. The cad. The very good cad!
‘How’s the small and dramatic world of showbiz gossip?’ he says refilling my glass with some more white wine (was it empty again?).
‘Oh you know, gossipy, full of crap that sort of thing’
‘Shayne Ward still asking for your number’ he says cocking his head.
‘Oh god knows why he would want it’
‘Perhaps because you’re gorgeous and sexy’ he raises his eyebrows and I tingle all over. How does he always manage to do this to me? Whenever he is around I feel on fire chronically, so much so it’s almost painful. He has this way of making me go giddy from just looking at me. As he chats a bit with Joe and Alex I study him. He is a class A babe. He has ruffled black hair that is long enough to run your hands through and deep brown eyes that tell a thousand stories. His teeth are really straight and so darned white but I know this is because he had them bleached once and his lips are so damned kissable, the most perfect lips ever invented. Sometimes when I am talking to him or in a room with him, I watch his lips as he talks. They are great and he has this thing where he lips his licks, especially when he is nervous. I think it is adorable and so endearing. He has lovely dimples when he smiles and an average male nose. He always has stubble, even when he shaves twice a day there will always be a five o’clock shadow and finally he has a dimpled chin. He is not whack in the face gorgeous but when you look at him he has natural bone deep handsomeness. He is super tall, about 6ft 3 or something and he is really toned all over from his countless rugby matches at the weekends. I often go and watch him just to show my support, that and the fact his arse looks so perfect in his shorts and sometimes if im lucky hell take his shirt off at the end of the game. As if sensing I am thinking about him he turns back to me and says ‘You coming to rugby this weekend?’
Im about to answer when Evan , who is placing the last pudding dishes in front of us says ‘No she cant, she has a date’ I feel myself redden as all eyes turn to me.
‘It’s not a date’
‘Oh come on Evy you have talked about Dave the flower shop guy for ages, in fact you have been spending half your wages on flowers just so you can talk to him’ this is true, in fact he seems to think I have thousands of friends as I but so many bunches of flowers for my imaginary buddies.
‘I know but, well he’s nice, but you know as a friend’
‘Oh yes a friend’ says Joe with an exaggerated wink ‘So where’s he taking you?’
‘Well we haven’t officially arranged anything, I just took his number’ ok another lie he’s actually planned a lunch date for sat but I can always cancel for John.
‘Well make sure you call him you idiot, you don’t want to lose him now you’ve got him’ Evan beams at me and I don’t know what to say. He looks so enthusiastic bless him.
‘Got him, god you make me sick’ says Alex making a gagging motion.
‘Well I think they’re sweet together’ says Evan smiling.
‘God you are so gay, how I never saw it all those years’ says Joe shaking his head.
‘What is your obsession with gays?’ I say always jumping to Evans defense.
‘My obsession, hark whose talking’ he says in shriek.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Come on Evy look at your past record’ says Joe.
‘Yeah you turned Evan, he would have been alright had you not dated him when you were five’ says Alex.
‘And then there was the Sams, two guys in the space of two months’ says Joe smiling evilly ‘bad’ say he and Alex in unison.
‘Then there was Bert’
‘And Sean’
‘And Mikhail’
‘He was not gay’ I shout ‘he was just very feminine, a metro-sexual male’
‘Evan?’ says Joe pointing with his spoon.
‘Im sorry Evy but he was gay, I could sense it’
‘Oh man’ I say shoveling more food into my mouth ‘ok what about Harry he wasn’t gay’
‘No he was just a geek’ says Evan.
‘Meow Evan, when did you last get any?’ I say shaking my head, last time I defend him
‘The other night out the back of a gay club’
‘Aw no Evan you didn’t’ says Joe aghast.
‘I certainly did, I was bored, drunk and very horny, why not’ he says shrugging at all our gawping faces.
‘Ill tell you why not; in fact ill spell it AIDS’ I say hitting him.
‘What? Everyman has their needs’
‘And women’ adds Amie.
‘Well im sure Alex will be more than happy to fulfill them for you anytime’ I say throwing a smarmy grin at Alex.
‘Yeah perhaps if I was a corpse’ a resounding ‘ew’ goes round the table.
‘So when are we going out clubbing together?’ says Joe.
‘How about this weekend?’ says Evan ‘hey Evy you could even bring Dave if it works out’
‘I think not guys, Id prefer it to be just us’
‘Oh don’t be such a miser, it will be nice to see you with someone whose not one of us’ says Alex.
‘I like you guys’
‘Really why?’ says Joe swaying slightly on his chair.
‘Sometimes I wonder’ I get up and saunter into the lounge, my chin raised in defiance, once there I flop on the sofa exhausted. I listen to everyone arguing over whom the washing up and I smiles to myself. They’re not really a bad bunch. I shut my eyes for a moment and relax some more. I hear some shuffling and open one eye to peak. John has just snuck out of the kitchen and is putting his coat on. I star confusedly for a moment wondering if I should remind him of my helping him but then I remember his face when the other were talking about Dave. I sigh inwardly and shut my eye again, well if he doesn’t want me, I mean my help then stuff him. Bloody man!