Rage

He swings the heavy bottle of vodka at me. Its only now I realize he is out for blood. Stumbling backwards over the coffee table to avoid his drunken blows. As I fall backwards I look into a beet red face, its features blurred and monstrous. The anger I see panics me. Hitting the ground hard, I do the only thing my dazed self can think to do, kick upwards as hard as I can. The sickening crack of ribs brings me back to reality. My enraged foe, falls hard and fast, under the strain of internal injuries. I scramble backwards, trying to regain some composure.
         The five seconds it takes for him to groan are the longest of my entire life.
         I stand up, only to realize that my entire body is shaking. I look at this man sitting before me. His long hair and face seem to blur and shift, the only thing I can really make out is anger. He staggered and cackled a horrible distorted noise, his whole body now seemed blurry and shifting. Completely terrified I fled back toward my bedroom, my body now completely vibrating with fear. I dared not look back.
         There were no questions of who this man was, or what he was doing. There was no thought. My hands desperately searching the walls, as I ran, trying to rationalize if any of this was real. I could hear him calling for me. His words were slurred to the point that I could not understand him. A growling beast. I stumbled and fell reaching the door of my room, the perfect time for all my balance to disappear. If you gargled bleach the resulting sound is what came out of this beasts mouth, some twisted attempt at a laugh. I tried desperately, with every once of my courage, to look into the face of my enemy. To find his eyes and see that he was just a man. That I could stop him.
         As I raised my head to find this weakness, I was overcome by a irrational and full body panic. Its as if I could not even look upon this beast. I scramble through the doorway and violently use the dresser as a crutch to raise myself to a standing position. As soon as I am heightened the world fades. Everything is becoming numb, dark, I look down slowly and see blood and vodka running down my chest. My arm raises to touch the side of my head, he had swung the bottle at my head.

I fell, all I could hear was this gargling, this horrible laughter.
I lay in a pool of blood and alcohol.
Where did my life go wrong.
My eyes close.
The horrible laughter.
Gargling.



I am turned on my side. Someone slaps me. It’s a woman, wait, I know her. She is shouting now, I can’t hear her but her mouth opens wide and fast. Tears are flowing down her face and she starts to drag me toward the bathroom.
I can hear her now.
“RYAN!???! RY!? You were choking on your own blood!? How the Hell did this happen?! Are You?! Should I call the Police?! What’s Going on?!”
I recognize the bathroom, my thoughts are not collected enough to respond to her. She raises me to the sink. I have trouble standing, I start to wash my face from what seems to be blood and vomit. My mouth continues to fill with blood. I turn to thank this woman, this savior. What comes out of my mouth is a hideous gargling laughter.

Panic


I turn back to the sink and look into the mirror. The beet red face is now clear. I fall to the ground in tears. I am my own monster.