Boom

I don't know what to do. I never did. I remember people asking me what I wanted to do in life and i didn't want to seem like the decisive fickle flake i was, so i would just make things up. I remember telling someone that i wanted to be a fashion designer, even though i have no interest in fashion...but they didn't know that and it was fun, ive told people i wanted to be a plumber. I even told one person that I was going to law school. Not to be a lawyer but because I wanted to be a philosopher. They had believed me every time. No matter how crazy, ridiculous, or completely insanely ordinary i made the story they believed it.
  I wonder if i ever told anyone that I wanted to be a pilot. I think I'd feel better in my present situation if I had, because i couldn't help always thinking that the ridiculous stories i made up were really, subconsciously, what i wanted to do. So maybe i did want to do this. Maybe getting drafted was a good thing. I mean I wasn't doing anything with my life but here I am transporting people, killing things i mean that had to count for some thing right? I was making a difference in someones life. (though i don't think the latter appreciated it much)
  I continued thinking along these lines for ten or so more minutes but I knew it was pointless. I hated space. I had since I was a little kid. It was just a wide empty space. A void. How could you like nothing? How could you feel anything about nothing? There was nothing to feel the feelings about. Unless you considered the nothingness its self...to be something. But that is just words. The word nothing is a noun and there something right? because its not an idea. Or a place. But that contradicts the vary nature of nothing. How can something who's definition is the lack of material be...a material. If you enjoyed Nothing could you also enjoy Something? I would think your senses would be over stimulated. But then again you can travel through space. And there was light. And dust. maybe it wasn't Nothing at all. Maybe it is like a color. The color black, which is every other color. It is not the absence of things, it is the abundance of it that made space.........It didn't matter I still hated it. Greedy bastard i want some color too. 
  Suddenly there was a enormous boom and the ship shook.
  "W-what was that?" The guy next to me screamed. I felt bad he was new but i liked him....we had good conversations about flavored food packets.
  "Oh we are under attack." I smiled at him crookedly trying to ease his fear.
  "Whak-??"The Boom and rattling came again. He stared at me in shock for a minute and then started ferociously pulling levers and buttons. "I can't tell the damage! The sensors are off line! I think the engine was hit! Why are you just sitting there? " he screamed at me in disbelief and realized i should probably do something.
  "Oh. I'll get some coffee. I have real coffee i saved it."
  "What?!! No! I meant we need help fire back at them! Do something!? Your supposed to be the best pilot there is!"
  "Am I? Oh well i want coffee, you don't want any?"
  "WE ARE GOING TO DIE "
  "Well that seems like as good an excuse as any. It will take a few minutes." He stared at me in disbelief. I smiled at him again and got my coffee.
  "We are going to die." he stared at the lights and then me, "theres nothing we can do? I am going to die."
  "Yeah probably. MHhm- Ow thats hot." I glared at my cup and then smiled.
  "Don't worry i hated space anyway." Just then we were hit again and then it was completely quiet. I leaned back in my chair and sipped my coffee.
  "What's going on? What happens next." I looked around the room again and took a sip of coffee. He was really white now and sweating. I felt bad, he was new but i liked him.
  Suddenly all the sirens went quiet and the lights that had been blinking calmed down to a slow panic attack and then steady light. Noises started again as all the off line sensors and engines came back on. He only stared at the panel.
  "What just happened? Did they stop?" He quickly ran tests and his eyes widened. "W-what? It it fixed its self. They stopped, why I have no idea, and it fixed itself! Its, its..." He trailed off and staring at the panel and i smiled.
  "Don't worry about it, oh well..want some coffee?"
  I sighed. It always did that.