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Rated: E · Chapter · Children's · #1423398
I tried to tone down a bit of my poetic language. Please comment on it.
Chapter 2
The sky grew weary. The waters of the beach grew in agitation. The sun became strangled by the violent dark clouds that gathered. A crowed of warriors arose along in view of the magnetic eyes of the Ndongo warriors, who stood at the opposite sides. They were well prepared for the attack on the intruders. They wore their garments made of Lion skin and their head band carried an eagle's black feather. Their weapons were two edged lances, sharp enough to divide skin in one blow. The Ndongo warriors fought with agility, this has served them in many victories.
As the intruders approached it was noticed that they ran like cheetahs for their speed was that of a cheetah. Their heavy steps sent through the forest a thunder which disturbed the flying creatures. They ran with a great cry of: "Battle!"
"Death shall fall upon this battle, the death of the intruders!" announced the Ndongo king in an immense voice that sent a tremble amongst the forest.
Their fists met with intruders in the air. They gave to each other heavy blows and death defying kicks to the stomach that brought down many of the intruders and warriors of the home land. Ten times their lances repelled with the intruder and ten times it stabbed the chest of the intruder. The animals that passed by took off in fear of getting caught up in this violent battle.
"This nation is blessed with the speed of a cheetah - said the king- but were blessed with robust claws like that of ten lions. We will tread on your head and feed them to the hyenas!"
The Ndongo men put all their forces into ending this battle. With a final blow to a lesser one, they sent the intruders in their flight back to their home land. The Ndongo men shouted in cheers.
The violent clouds that threatened with rain did not give way to rain but expired at sunset. Upon their return to the camp, they were received to a party of welcoming the victorious. The virgins received the men ready for marriage with their foreheads having a red dot, a tradition in which returning warriors choose their wives. Amongst the virgins of the land, was the virgin Mbanda who resembled the face of an eagle. Her face bone was thin; her neck was long, purified by the scent of the Orchid that grew in the fine soil of the land. But her age was not of marriage. For a virgin to reach the marriage age she was to wait for the sun to meet with the moon, which happened when the birth of a new moon occurred.
The men settled in the centre of the camp along side the Queen with the newly born on her lap, surrounding a camp fire and all the inhabitants also sat around the camp ready to observe the King's speech.
"Oh people of my land, it is now that bring to you a covenant between me and you. Our land has added to our number two new inspirations, two new strong holds, and two new males but one will inherit the throne and dominate the enemy - The king retrieved his babes from their mother and held them up high towards the stars.

A shadow suddenly took stance on the land, away from the gathering, its presence was unknown. It held a lance that was ready to take flight.
"Murder!" cried the king in an agonizing pain. A lance had pierced through the ribs of the King. A sudden rush of weakness made his arms fragile that the fall of the babes was great. They cried in fear as the King fell to the floor in a slow death. The warriors surrounded the camp in search of the murderer. The woman and Virgins ran for safety in their huts along with the children. The Queen cried in despair at the death of the King. Her pain was that of the sentiment from which the king's pain originated. It stabbed her chest fiercely that she crouched on the side of the inanimate body. Her tears created a flow of water on the cheeks of the king.
The camp fire became violent. A sand storm elevated as the natives treaded swiftly into hiding. It mixed a bomb, when it converged with the fire, which set out a great blaze. The natives' footsteps sounded a drum roll.
The Queen on picking up Malamba and Mbandi, her garment caught fire on its end and became aflame. The flame rapidly spread that she was forced to throw the babes away from the camp fire and her burning self. She cried in agony as her body boiled in the heat of the fire. Her skin scorched. Her curled, dry hair deteriorated. Her lungs became contaminated as thick mucus run through her veins. She dropped dead upon the body of the king. Both bodies burned slowly like two burning sticks. Malamba's eye reflected the scene as he looked at the burning bodies.
The old woman ran towards Mbandi who was in her view. She held her heavy gown which became greatly covered by the dirt that spared the air. Her crooked bony legs looked as if they were ready to snap. She looked in desperation for Malamba, but her eyes would not meet his. All that rested in her memory was his cry for help. The air became infused with smoke. For the safety of Mbandi, the old woman left the scene with him on her chest. Malamba's cry faded.
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