Circulating Chapter 2

25/ 04/ 03

Diary,

In my self defense class today with Dr. Myles, I successfully managed to instantaneously phase. It didn’t come out of the blue, I had been practicing in my room.

While everyone else was studying and doing their assignments in the library, I was meditating in my room. I had finished off my English essay so I used the rest of my spare time to try and analyze what happened in Versailles over a year ago.

To get in the mood, I even borrowed some more incense sticks from Maya. As they burned, I tried to concentrate on that moment of the past. Only I didn’t sit cross legged on the floor or anything like you see other people meditating. I did what I did best… I listened to loud music and swung in circles on my chair.

What kept interrupting my concentration though was my guilty conscience. I think what little time I spend with everyone else at this current moment might be a good thing.

Zack is not talking to me… again. Nelson and Patrick both think I’m sulking. I guess I am in a way. I haven’t sat with them at all in the Caf at meal times over the last couple of days, instead I sat with Jordon, Numu, Maya and Raj.

So anyway, I sat and I spun… A good two hours went by, before I allowed myself a cigarette break. I was trying to get into the same mind set as I was in that day in Versailles. However, the mind set was being really wet in love with Guy… so to do this, I tried to concentrate on his face.

You wanna know something scary, Diary? Here all my friends bag me out for obsessing over Guy; I have his letters stuck to my wall. I have the dress with his blood all over it under my bed. I could picture what he looks like that clearly in my head. I remembered that he has dark eyes and dark curly hair, tied back in a ponytail. I remembered the Naval uniform he wore… But I realized that I didn’t think of him as much now, when in the past I used to fantasize every night about the night we were together in his Captain’s cabin.

I suddenly felt really desperate to see him again. I just wanted to see him one more time. Just to see his face one more time…

…just see him through time just once more… just one more time… just one more time… just one more time… one more time… once more… one more time…

…I was spinning on my chair, music blaring, incense burning, my mind going around and around…

I closed my eyes and pictured him as an old man. I imagined him to be living alone now, with his daughter married. I imagined him to be all alone, with only his housekeeper Bettsy remaining, probably cooking his dinner in the kitchen. I pictured him reading a book by the fireplace in his sitting room in his little house, in Dartford.

I was spinning on my chair, the beat of the music carrying me away with it. The smell of the incense heightened my senses. My mind was spinning around like I was, as I imagined his figure in the chair, the same words circled around and around my head.

… Just one more time… Just once more…Just one more time…

The picture of him in my mind suddenly became a lot clearer and when I opened my eyes again? I thought for a moment my bedroom looked a lot brighter!

Huh? Is my desk lamp getting a power surge or something? Why is the room getting lighter and lighter?

My bed and wardrobe suddenly vanished from my sight! In a surge of brilliance, as if a wall of light had just come down from nowhere; the walls of my dorm room suddenly stretched out into a much larger room. My carpeted floor was replaced with old, polished floorboards.

The wall of light that had previously beamed blindingly, now dulled to reveal that my desk which was along the same wall my wardrobe was; was now a fire burning in a fire place. My desk was gone and my office chair was now a large, high-backed, leather chair.

I looked away from the fire, to the other upholstered chair sitting opposite, also by the fireside. Seated in that chair, was Guy, as he looked deeply engrossed in a book.

He looked older than I last saw him. The youthful man I first fell in love with was now middle-aged. His hair was silvery grey, with white patches on either side of his temples. His face had a few more wrinkles, from when I last saw him with Dr. Knight and Professor Hamilton. As I greedily examined his familiar features, I felt a huge rush of emotion, like it was only yesterday that we were last together.

However, this idyllic picture didn’t feel right. I still felt like there was a bright light being shone in my face, coming from the fireplace. I felt like a huge wave of gravity was pulling on me, just like the time I was in Versailles… I felt like I couldn’t move and Guy didn’t seem to see me.

This is it, I’m instantaneously phasing! I knew I had to move towards him, to completely cross over properly from my time frame into his.

Like in slow motion, I put my feet firmly onto the floor and tried to stand up. When I did, it felt like the pull of gravity was reacting to this, as it tried to pull me back harder. But I concentrated on Guy’s face and with all of my strength, I stood up from my chair.

I looked at my hands. They weren’t see-through, but what Zack said was right… I looked like I was glowing. I looked down at the rest of me and saw that my whole body looked a glowing yellow light was emanating from my very being.

The pull of the gravity was now not only pulling me downwards, but backwards. I had a feeling that it was my old time frame, not letting go. To extricate myself, I would have to move forwards. It was the flow of time, not liking this new rock being moved in its’ stream. With all the strength I could muster, I raised one of my glowing feet and took a step forwards…

Just then the pull of time got stronger and I nearly lost my balance and fell! The pull of time was not getting easier, but harder! I contemplated that I was doing this wrong. I realized that it wasn’t just going all glowy that was the issue here, it was only the first step; but I had to completely phase to escape the force.

I closed my eyes and imagined myself standing in front of a window. I imagined that Guy was sitting on the other side of the window. I knew I could do this… I knew I could cross to the other side to get to Guy. I breathed slowly and deeply and imagined that the glass was like water I was about to dive into.

Now my next step forward was a whole lot easier. Then so was my next step. And then the step after that… almost like an elastic band had snapped; I no longer felt like I was being pulled or stretched, but I felt completely free!

I opened my eyes again and found myself standing, in the time frame of the 18th century; in Guy’s sitting room, with my skin no longer bright or see-through.

Guy instantly looked up as if he sensed my presence to which I beamed back.

“Hi.”

“Elisha…?” Guy immediately stood up. “Is it Henry? Has something happened to him?”

“He’s fine! So I know anyway… but Guy! I instantaneously phased here! With out any windows or mirrors! I basically willed myself here! I willed myself into the 18th century! I did it!” I rushed forward to throw my arms about him. “I really, really, really wanted to see you again, so I did! It worked! I did it!”

Guy let out a short laugh in surprise at having me in his arms again. Next he examined my face closely before caressing my cheek with his thumb. He seemed honestly happy at having me here.

“How old are you? How much time has passed for you, since our last meeting? Your hair is longer…” he observed.

“A year and a half. You?”

“The same… one year and four months to the day you were last in my home and in my arms.” He smiled.

I leaned forward to kiss him, but suddenly he let go and took a step backwards.

“Guy?” I gave him a funny look.

“Please Elisha, it’s not that I am not happy to see you again. But I thought - or so I believed - that the last time we would ever see each other again, was over a year ago.” He said, making a point not to look my way.

“So?” I came over as I tried to hug him again.

“No Elisha.” He pushed my arms away. “This cannot be.”

“Huh? Why not? What do you mean? I’m only visiting, Guy. I’m not expecting a betrothal!” I tried to use our old joke.

“Henry tells me that you’ve been writing to him.” Guy now walked away.

“Yeah, so? You told me to look after your son, so I am.” I shrugged.

“Henry has serious designs on your relationship, Elisha.” Now Guy looked directly into my eyes.

“What relationship? There is no relationship! There has been no-one except you! I’m only writing to him, because of you!” I proclaimed.

“I want you to have a future with my son Henry, as our future is an impossible one. I want you both to be happy. I believe my son is the man that can make you so.” Guy now looked away again.

Oh shit… this isn’t the situation that I imagined myself to be in with the man that I loved.

I suddenly felt the need to sit down again. I finally gave up to this gravity of the new situation and sat on the chaise along the wall. A new force, a sickening one, was pulling me down now.

I didn’t say anything and Guy took it as a bad sign as he came and sat beside.

“I want you to be happy Elisha. I believe Henry is the man whom can make you so. I want the very best for the two of you…”

But that was it; it was the last straw. I cut him off with my explosion.

“What?!” I yelled. “You’re trying to pawn me off onto your son? I’m not your fucking whore!”

I stood up, about to instantly leave as instantly as I arrived, when Guy tried to stop this.

“Elisha I am an old man now and Henry is closer to your age…”

“Screw you!”

Tearfully I allowed the view of Guy standing there helplessly in his sitting room dissolve.

All I wanted to do was go back to my room. I just wanted to go back to my room, back to the safety and comfort of my own room. I just wanted to be in my room again, back at College, like this never happened.

This new visualization aided me in my return; I quickly felt the pull of the gravity again and I easily phased myself through the layers of time.

Then I was sitting on my chair, at my desk again… just like that. It took me two hours to reach those painful five minutes of Guy’s company; then it took me only a matter of seconds when the pain took me back home again.

I realized what helped me instantaneously phase between the two situations, was the emotions that were attached to them.

One minute I’m desperate to see Guy and by picturing him I was able to then physically see him. The next moment I’m desperate to run away home again, so I did. But what I also realized is what Professor Hamilton told me about instantaneously phasing was also correct. Probably the only reason why I managed to instantaneously phase was because I phased to two hundred years away and that it will probably take a lot of practice to shorten the length of time.

I can say all of this objective now, but trust me, last night I wasn’t objective at all. As soon as I had returned to my room, balling my eyes out? I ripped down the love letter Guy wrote me after India. I also ripped down from my walls the photocopies Sally sent me of Guy’s journals when he was Captain and then an Admiral. I shoved both of these scrunched up pieces of paper into the plastic bag with the blood soaked dress. Then I tied back up the plastic bag, and left them under my bed to mould to their demise.

When I was in the self defense classroom with Dr. Myles at Circulate Headquarters tonight, I showed Dr. Myles how I could instantaneously phase. I moved myself to my dorm room and then back to the self defense classroom at Circulate Headquarters. I guess I could do these two locations because they were a couple of hundred of thousands of years apart.

Dr. Myles actually seemed a bit blasé about this achievement. I was expecting more of a ‘congratulations’, but as I was realizing with this particular teacher? Praise does not come easily. I was even surprised at how he didn’t ask me any of the particulars of how I finally nailed down this skill. None of my teachers did. I thought the Circulate would have monitored my little visit with Guy the previous night.

“Good. Now what we’re going to do is to get you to start phasing to closer locations in time. We need to get you to phase to different time periods, until you can suddenly disappear from one end of the room and reappear at the next in under a second.” Dr. Myles ordered.

At the end of our class, Dr. Myles started to escort me back to the Gate for our return to the college, but I wasn’t in a hurry to leave.

“Actually, can I stay here for another hour? I can phase myself back.” I asked. He looked on closely, unsure whether or not this was a good idea. “Come on, this is Circulate Headquarters. What mischief can I come up to in here?” I read his thoughts.

“OK. Another hour, that’s it.” he demanded, before he left me alone.

I wandered around the complex a little until I found a seat by the glass dome wall. It was night time here as well as at College. I sat down to have a good, long look up at the stars. I enjoyed the different angle of the night sky, being on another planet than the one I’m usually on.

It’s funny, last night all I wanted to do was to return to my dorm room? Now I’m in no great hurry for it. I felt like I needed a change of scenery.

“Penny for them.”

Suddenly Lucas Hodge sat down on the chair beside mine. He was back in his older body, wearing his white futuristic suit, with his white hair neatly combed back.

It was a surprise to see him again. I hadn’t seen him since as Brett, he disappeared on the bus ride back from France! I had made inquiries about talking to him again, but he was always unavailable.

“Do I call you Brett or Lucas now?” I asked, a little warily.

“Call me anything you like.” He joked. I still eyed him feeling unsure. “I see that in your youth, you’re still a little skeptical of older, authority figures. Let me make you more comfortable.” He smiled with his familiar blue eyes.

Just then he turned all glowy, as his eyes remained the same and fixed my way. He turned see-through as he reformed into the shape I had become accustomed to seeing, as the young Brett. The young Brett sat there in the older Lucas’s suit, he actually looked handsome in his older self’s suit.

“Penny for them.” He repeated his question.

“Do they still have penny’s here?” I joked back.

“We can get our dirty little mits on anything around here. If we can’t, we certainly know where to find them.” He teased.

“Nothing, I’m just thinking.” I sighed as I answered his previous question.

“Ah, procrastinating… you seem to do that a lot recently.” He raised one of his eyebrows in a quizzical way.

“Surely you have better things to do than to watch me swing on my chair.” I raised my eyebrows back.

“But Elisha, don’t you remember what I told you? We know all about you, because…”

“Yeah yeah, I’m one of the most important Circulators, blah blah.” I rolled my eyes as I returned my gaze to the stars.

“Doesn’t this give you a sense of purpose? Or is it just a sense of arrogance?” he next quizzed.

“It’s a sense of…” I thought of a word, “…discountenance.”

“So you wish you could refuse this ability?”

“Sometimes.”

“Is this because of what happened when you saw Guy last night?” he smiled sadly.

“Ah ha! I was wondering how long it would take for someone to bring that up.” I said warily again. “Is there where I get a slap on the wrist?”

“Would you like a slap? I thought you would have received that last night.”

Now that hurt. I flinched and looked away again. My arms crept into the classic self-defense posture by folding themselves in front of my chest.

“I apologize. No, I do. You would have moved heaven and earth for this mere mortal, but your affections were not returned in the manner that you were hoping for. But the affection is there, nonetheless.” He leaned forward.

“It’s just so frustrating! I mean, here you are, telling me I’ve got to train my special powers because I’m going to be stronger and faster than the rest of my class. Then I’ve got my friends giving me a hard time about it. What am I supposed to do?” I suddenly changed the subject.

“Nelson and Peter?” he asked knowingly.

“Who else?” I started to kick at the floor. “And when are you going to start training Sophie in the same way? I mean, she’s next, isn’t she? She is also supposed to become one of the most powerful, right?”

“We’re waiting.” He said.

“Waiting for what?” I snapped.

“We’re waiting until she makes a break through.”

“And when does that happen?”

“When she writes to you.” he said simply.

I looked back, sharply. “So it was you who gave me the address!”

“Of course!” he chuckled.

“Then why aren’t you getting the teachers to help me get Sophie out of there?” I now leaned forward too.

“Because the contact can only be with someone her own age, someone she trusts, and someone who isn’t afraid of breaking a couple of rules to get her out.” He grinned mischievously.

“That’s why you told me the codes that you use. So I can bring her around.” I stated matter-of-factly.

“Correct.”

“Will it happen soon?” I queried.

“Soon… hmm. Now ‘soon’ is an interesting concept to ones such as ourselves. Every time and any time is soon.” He stood up to leave.

“Wait! Don’t go! You just got here! I mean, can’t you tell me anymore? Give me anymore clues? You’re not ‘Deep Throat’ from the ‘X-Files’ you know! Why does this have to be like some mysterious thing or whatever?” I grabbed his hand.

“Elisha, you will learn over time that everything does happen all in good time. To use your words, ‘it’s trite but it’s true’. To have the correct outcome, we need to set up the correct events, leading to that certain outcome. Just imagine a game of baseball. The team needs to run around all four bases to win the game.” He shrugged off-handedly.

“Do you have to use a sporting analogy?” I moaned as I fell back into my chair.

“Well I do like the game. What analogy would you use?”

“I dunno, that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink?” I shrugged.

Brett chuckled again, before patting my shoulder and leaving me alone to my thoughts.

============================================================

TO: [e-mail]
FROM: [e-mail]
SUBJECT: Misleading…
DATE: 26/ 04/ 03

Hi Sally,

Thanks for the advice in your last email. I used it… and I saw Guy again! But before you get excited, let me just say it was a waste of a trip. I instantaneously phased with out any windows or mirrors into Guy’s home, to find that he doesn’t want me anymore.

All he wants, is for me to be with his son. So on one hand I’ve got Nelson ribbing me out for this incestuous hand over of dealership, and on the other I have my ex lover trying to porn me off onto his relations! And Peter doesn’t help much either.

I was going to tell the rest of them what my extra classes with Dr. Myles have been about, when Peter started going on and on about how I’m up myself or something. So I didn’t tell them, only Zack knows. So I’ve started hanging out with Maya and Raj for a little while instead.

I think Zack hates me again. He came to my room and told me that when I was in Versailles, even though I didn’t look see-through I did look like I was glowing. When I told him about my classes with Dr. Myles, he guessed it was related to this business about me being one of the four most powerful Circulators.

Then I don’t know what happened next… he put his hand over mine, and I don’t know if he was going to try and make a move on me again. But he said that everyone knows about the dress I keep under my bed with Guy’s blood on it.

I freaked when he said that! I don’t want everybody knowing my business!

I ended up yelling at him and he got pissed off with me and left. We haven’t spoken since. And anyway, right now the dress isn’t the only thing gathering dust under my bed now. I tore down the letters of Guy’s and shoved them down there as well. If I never see that man ever again, it will be too soon. And he expects me to just transfer all of my affections over to his son?!

YEAH RIGHT!!

===============================================

TO: [e-mail]
FROM: [e-mail]
SUBJECT: Men!
DATE: 27/ 04/ 03

Hey Elisha,

Don’t stress about it. Really. Men were created stupid, and they’ll always remain stupid. Seriously. And to makes themselves feel just a little better over this statistical fact, they put down women for it.

Why do kids bully other children in school? Because they’re insecure about something about themselves. So as the saying goes, ‘misery loves company’, they pass their unhappiness on. It’s the same with men.

There is an interesting book that I was reading called “Goddesses, Whores, Wives & Slaves - Women in Classical Antiquity” by Sarah B. Pomeroy. And it’s scary to see that even though in our society women can be educated the same as a man and enter nearly all of the same jobs as a man… that not that much has changed. Do you think that maybe next time you go into the future, have a look at women in that society, and come back and tell me if it gets any better? Coz I’m starting to wonder if there’s any point in procreating.

You hate Guy now, huh? Does that mean the deal is off about you looking after his son in the war? Oh, guess what! Talking about the men in our lives… I have a new boyfriend!

His name is Joshua and he’s a student at Cambridge University. He was the one who lent me the book. I met him in the London Library, when I was trying to look up more information for you on the records available on microfiche. This was going to be a surprise for you, but I’m trying to compile a family tree of Guy’s family for you. This way it will hopefully make your job a little easier to keep track of Guy and his lineage.

Josh is a History student at Cambridge. We were both in London Library, on our study breaks, me from High School and he from Uni. He was also looking up some stuff on microfiche when we bumped into each other. When I found out he goes to Cambridge I started asking him heaps of questions and told him that I applied to go there too.

And guess what Elisha, he’s also in Holy Spirit College! You know, that was the one that has the scholarship I applied for (and haven’t heard back from yet). He asked if I wanted to go for a coffee, and I said yes! He’s very tall, with dark scruffy hair and wears contact lenses. He looks a little nerdy, but that’s the ‘in’ look now, ay? So you can tell everyone there I have a boyfriend now. And feel free to stress this point to Peter when you next (if ever) speak to him again.

Your pal,

Sal.

============================================================

30/ 04/ 03

Diary,

I just had an unusual self defense class with Dr. Myles. It was the third most unusual moment I’ve had since coming to this school. And it was the icing on the cake of a bad week in general.

Nelson, Pat, Peter and Zack all seem to be ignoring me now, like I’m ignoring them. For the past week all I’ve had is Maya and Raj to sit next to in the Caf or in the library. In class I’ve been sitting with Jordon, Numu and Wong. But bloody Peter keeps pulling faces, or giving me the finger when our teacher’s backs are turned.

I’m getting so sick and tired of his behavior, and I finally did something about it.

But first, as I mentioned, I had a weird self defense class with Dr. Myles. With all this bitchiness and fighting going on at the moment, I wasn’t properly paying attention. I couldn’t focus on the moves, so when he was going into the classic attack posture; instead of flipping him over like I was supposed to, he ended up flipping me! I fell right onto my hip! It hurt!

“Ooow!” I yelped, and remained on the floor, rubbing my lower back.

I waited for him to apologise, or in the very least, help me up again; but no help came.

“You’re not concentrating!” he snapped back. “Now get up and lets try that again!”

I pulled myself up and took my defensive stance again, as he attacked!

“OOOW!” I yelled even louder.

This time I felt my elbow crack when I was flipped over like a pan cake!

“Again! Get up! Concentrate!” he shouted and walked a little away.

I used my uninjured arm to help myself up, before I gingerly repositioned my fists.

This time when he came at me, I squealed and backed away as I held my injured arm close to my body.

“My arm hurts!”

“Don’t be ridiculous! Do you think your attacker is going to care if your arm hurts! Defend yourself!” he still attacked!

But I wouldn’t defend myself - I just crumpled into a ball onto the ground before he could get a good grip on my other arm.

He stood above, looking very angry now.

“Get up.” He said flatly.

“No.”

“Get up!”

“No!”

“GET THE FUCK UP!!”

Shit! He swore at me! My teacher just swore at me!

“Get away from me!” I cried, feeling really scared now.

Dr. Myles reached down and put his hands underneath my shoulders, easily lifting me up as he planted me back on my feet.

“Defend yourself!”

“No!” I shouted in his face. “Leave me alone!”

“Snap out of it Elisha! Stop playing the victim here! Stop being the victim for the rest of your life! Fight back! Fight me!” he pushed me backwards! “You’re weak! You use emotional responses to phase… so use this one! Fight me! Hate me! Show me what you’ve got!”

Dr. Myles pushed me backwards again, this time so hard I nearly fell over again.

He continued to rage, “you are weak! Pathetic! Use those useless emotions for something important for a change!”

That was it! How dare he talk to me like this?! Fine! I decided he wouldn’t get away with treating me like this!

“FUCK YOU, YOU BASTARD!” I took my attack stance and threw a punch at him.

Dr. Myles easily ducked out of the way from the blow, before his left fist came my way to deliver one of his own… which I blocked and then I raised my foot to try and kick him in the groin… which he also blocked.

I realized he wasn’t holding back his punches this time; I realized we were full on fighting! For real! Fighting for real! My terror nearly took over, but I guess my survival instinct kicked in first.

Then I don’t know how or why, but another new self realization came over me at this point.

Something, like a little voice inside my head, said, “I can be faster than this; he may be stronger, but I’m faster,” so I gave myself over to this voice.

Then Diary, like I was watching my body in slow motion; I saw myself start to duck and weave in between his punches, so that I didn’t need to block them so much. Then when I decided to send some of my own out, they went straight through his defenses. My fists connected with his jaw, his rib cage, and then his nose.

The slow motion continued, as he took a step back. I saw blood begin to splatter out of his now broken nose. It was around this time that I noticed that my hands which had delivered his wounds, were glowing.

To try and kick me when he was going down; Dr. Myles swung around his leg in a high karate kick that was meant to connect with my head. But instead it went straight through my head.

I went from glowing to see-through, then back to glowing, and then back to normal. I reformed back into my solid form, out of phase, to find Dr. Myles lying on the floor, on his back. Half of his face covered in blood and to my further surprise, he was laughing!

Half of me was tempted to run over to him to see if he was all right, being that he was my teacher and all. But my defenses were still up. My heart was pounding, my elbow and lower back were aching, and the adrenaline was pumping through me so hard and fast, I was shaking.

“Well done.” He slowly sat up as he pulled himself to his feet. “You get a big V for this class, girlfriend. V for Vengeance!”

But I still didn’t trust him enough to lower my guard.

“Relax. You did it. It took a while, but you finally did it.” he laughed, showing that he held no grudges.

“You hurt me.” I glared at him.

“Ah, but did I break any bones? No I didn’t. If I had, then you could have sued me for dereliction of duty.” He chuckled, picking up a towel to clean up his face. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to have this seen to. You can let yourself out.”

With that, he was gone. I stood alone in the self defense class room. And my hands were still shaking…

I didn’t bother walking to the Gate. I simply instantaneously phased myself from there to my dorm room, back at College. After what just happened, I thought I needed a little alone time.

I don’t get this school! I mean, surely there are other ways - safer ways - to get a point across, for teachers and students?

When I was in my room, about to undress out of my work-out clothes to go have a shower; I heard Peter’s voice coming from the other side of my door. It sounded like he was in Pat’s room, which is adjacent to mine. And I heard my name mentioned.

“Quiet, she’ll hear you!” Pat sounded annoyed.

“Who cares if she does?” Peter said back.

I listened to them talk, with my door still closed.

“She’s not in there, she’s off on Mars or wherever else she goes.” Zack said next.

“Why is she at Headquarters?” Pat asked.

“She’s been getting these extra self defense classes because of her powers.” Zack said flatly.

“What about her powers? I mean, why do the teachers build her up so much? I’ve never seen her do anything special. I’ve seen her do some pretty stupid things, but nothing amazing or fantastic.” Peter scoffed.

“What about France? All those visions she had? And she nearly crossed over time in Versailles.” Zack said next. “And she was the first in our class to Circulate. Now she can do it with out any mirrors or stuff.”

“Who cares? We all will one day.” Peter said in a droll voice.

“Not everyone. Not all of us...” Zack tried to point out but Peter interrupted him.

“Look, the bitch is a waste of space. Nothing special, nothing to write home about. You should have dumped her after the first night you had her. And even then I bet she wasn’t very good at that!”

That was it - I saw red - and it would soon be the colour of Peter’s blood. As it flowed from his broken body…

I flung open my door, marched in on the shocked on-lookers in Patrick’s room; I grabbed Peter by the front of his T-shirt and dragged him out into the hallway!

“Get the fuck off me you psychotic…” he started to yell, but this time I interrupted him.

My fist slammed into his nose, and as he recoiled in shock, I quickly took my defensive stance.

“Why you…!” he lunged at me before Zack could stop him.

To show off, I instantaneously phased. As I turned see-through, his fist sailed clean through my head. Then I quickly reformed, and shoved my next fist into his left eye socket. After that I took my defensive stance, and as he clumsily tried to grab at me with both of his arms, I flipped him over onto the floor behind me!

“I am fucking good at everything I do, you bastard! If I ever hear you say or gesture anything demeaning my way again, I’ll fucking rip your insides out so you’re wearing your fucking intestines like a fucking bow tie!” I screamed down.

Peter didn’t reply, he couldn’t; I left his nose in a worse state than Dr. Myles and he was spitting the blood out of his mouth. He rolled onto his side, unable to stand.

Now I confronted Zack and Pat, getting into my attack posture again.

“Hey we surrender!” Pat held up his hands. “You are woman, we heard you roar.”

“I didn’t say anything about you! I would have stopped him if you had of let me!” Zack said angrily.

Nelson stood in her doorway of her room, like the rest of the students who were on the floor, called to attention by our shouting.

“Well done.” she began to applaud. “I couldn’t have done it better myself.”

“You didn’t do it better yourself!” I snapped at her next.

“I know. I just said that.” she smirked back. “Have you got it all out of your system now?”

I glared at her.

“I think you need a cigarette.” She offered.

But before I could take her up on her peace offering, suddenly Miss Inez showed up.

“What happened here?!” Miss Inez cried, kneeling down to Peter’s side.

I expected Peter to dob me in. If he couldn’t do it verbally, I waited for him to point up at me. Or maybe mumble something that would give me away. But he didn’t, he just rolled away from Miss Inez.

“Patrick! Tell me what happened here.” Miss Inez looked his way.

“Er…” Patrick faltered.

“It was me. I did it.” I stepped forward.

“You?” Miss Inez looked at me in disbelief, as they were all doing that at that moment.

“Yeah, me.” I stated.

Miss Inez looked at me in disgust for what I had done, but in her professionalism, continued. “Patrick, I want you to go downstairs and ask Dr. Knight to come up here with her medical kit. Yuichi, I want you to go and bring Professor Hamilton from his office. You, Elisha, will go inside my room and wait for us there.”

My heart was beating so hard I could hear the pounding in my ears.

I walked down the hallway past everyone and their stares. I was still shaking, but I managed to keep my head up as I avoided eye contact with anyone. Everybody’s eyes were wide as their mouths hung open in shock.

I paced around Miss Inez’s room for what felt like forever.

I couldn’t be bothered with the fact that this was my first time inside my Den Mother’s room. I wasn’t amused by the fact of seeing the latest confiscated packet of cigarettes from someone sitting in her bin. At that moment I was thinking that what I had done was justified and that Peter was in the wrong; that I had been right to do what was done.

“Elisha.” Suddenly Professor Hamilton opened Miss Inez’s door and came in, closing the door behind him again. “Please, sit down.”

This time I didn’t obey. I stood my ground and glared at him, folding my arms in front. I watched him as he walked over to Miss Inez’s desk and sat himself down instead at her desk chair.

“Suit yourself.” He shrugged at my rebelliousness. “But our conversation might go for longer than you anticipate, so you might be more comfortable seated.”

I remained standing.

“Can you please tell me what just happened? Why did you feel it was necessary to beat your classmate and almost dangerously harm this person?” he asked in a calm and neutral tone of voice while his eyes drilled into me.

“PMT.” I spat out sarcastically.

“THAT is not amusing.” Hamilton said sharply.

“It wasn’t meant to be.”

“Zack explained his version of events before I came inside this room to discuss them with you. In Zack’s point of view, Peter ‘had it coming’ for his past behaviour towards you, and then in relation to the words spoken about you this evening. Is this correct?”

“Yes.” I raised my head up high again.

“You will become one of our most powerful Circulators Elisha, which you have been told. Holding power usually comes with responsibility to lead, which in the future one day you will. Right now I think you need to exercise better judgment on how and when to act, and think about how these actions will affect the other people around you. Now imagine what your future will be like when your actions and opinions will affect the Circulate, and perhaps human history? You have to exercise restraint and respect when dealing with the time line of human development, and not go rushing in on a whim. You’ve just been taught about temporal causalities in your Circulating classes and Physics classes, I think you should probably think about applying these ideas to the people around you as well.” Hamilton lectured.

Oh man, I can’t believe he just said all of this! I felt a combination of indignation and exhaustion. I rubbed my forehead in frustration, before lecturing him right back.

“OK. Now, you have to stop right there! Because you may think I’m a fruit loop, and perhaps a dangerous one at that… but what about your fucking self defense teacher?! He attacked me to try and prove a point! I had to give HIM a bloody nose just to get him off me! And one minute you and Nell are telling me to give up on Sophie, and the next Lucas Hodge your leader, is slipping me pieces of paper with her bloody address on it! And what about spearing each other to try and show an example? And what about all this diatribe that ‘nobody in the Circulate hurts each other’, when I’ve kicked the crap out of Peter, Nelson’s kicked the crap out of Peter and Zack’s kicked the crap out of Peter? And you’re always building me up, not letting me be just a normal student at this school, and then letting me get torn down afterwards!”

That earned an uncomfortable moment of silence, as my school principal just sat there.

“I’m sorry that you feel we’ve been applying the pressure too hard on you, Elisha. But please consider this now… we are only trying to prepare you for what your future holds in store for you. If our methods seem out of the usual, keep in mind that what you will be doing one day will also be out of the norm. How do we teach using ordinary practices, something that is considered by most people extraordinary circumstances? We may be pushing you hard now, but by doing this, we will know that in the future, you will be ready for what lies ahead.” he said as his voice softened.

“What do you mean, ‘what lies ahead’. Is there something else that you’re not telling me now?” I asked tiredly.

“Right now, in this period of time, we believe you know all you need to know - for the moment. When something else comes up, it will be taught to you. Have faith in us Elisha. It’s not just your teachers here who are trying to guide you onto the right path, but the entire Circulate as well. We try to look out for all of our students here at this college, because they will all one day take their place in the Circulate congregation. There is another skill I would like to impart on you before you leave this college and begin your path in this world - and that is patience. If you use this vital skill, you would be able to act less impulsively and rashly, and another, you will come to realize that the saying ‘all in good time’ has so many important meanings. Everything happens for a reason, and this reasoning you will come to realize, is tied into that very crucial saying.”

I wanted to get out of this room and end this conversation, so I abruptly changed the topic.

“Will I now have to wash the dishes?” I referred to my previous punishment of detentions in the past. It was one of the teacher’s favourite punishments; students cleaning up in the cafeteria after evening meals.

“No you will not.”

“Good.” I tried to leave, when Hamilton called back my attention.

“Please think about what we just talked about, Elisha. And please, know that if you ever need to talk about what and why we are teaching you, what we do, my door will always be open to you.”

If he’s only ever going to give me the run around or stupid, useless cryptic answers… what’s the point? I could knock on his door forever, or always try to talk to Lucas Hodge in his busy schedule, but they would probably only ever just give me worthless pieces of opinions or advice. Sometimes I don’t know why I bother.

I returned to my room and found that Nelson was waiting inside.

“Peter’s been bad mouthing you for years… why was this night so different for you?” Nelson asked.

“I finally learned to stand up and fight for myself… which sounds kind of cliché right now. But when you see it combined with my phasing ability, it actually looks kind of cool.” I said in a glib manner.

“So is that the reason why you’ve been having all these secret classes at Circulate Headquarters?” Nelson finally realized.

“They weren’t secret. I tried to tell you about them ages ago, but you bloody cut me off.” I replied.

“Hey, we just thought you were moping around about you-know-who again.” Nelson rebutted.

“Well trust me on this, that will NEVER EVER happen again.” I glared her way.

============================================================

TO: [e-mail]
FROM: [e-mail]
SUBJECT: I think the teachers should be locked away
DATE: 02/ 05/ 03

Sal,

I think it’s the teachers who should be locked away instead of Sophie. This place is a loony bin! The teachers here are all nuts!

During my self defense class with Dr. Myles last Wednesday, he thought the best way of triggering my ability to instantaneously phase would be to full on attack me. Then I beat the crap out of Peter when he called me a bitch and told Zack he should have dumped me after our first time. Then I don’t get a detention for it, but Professor Hamilton lectures me on how I should start acting like a mature person coz people are going to start looking to me as a leader from my extra abilities!

I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do? One minute they’re putting heaps of responsibility on my shoulders, and the next I’m being told off for it. And they keep dropping all these cryptic hints of what my future is going to be like, but won’t flat out tell me what to expect. I’m getting fed up. I’m starting to count down the weeks until I can get out of here!

===============================================

TO: [e-mail]
FROM: [e-mail]
SUBJECT: You go girl!
DATE: 03/ 05/ 05

You kicked the crap out of Peter? He really said that about you? For real? Why didn’t Zack kick the crap out of him for saying that instead?

But you really managed to hit him? So I take it your classes are working then? Even if they’re being taught a little on the extreme side of things… But at least they’re working.

You go girl!

Is his attitude better now? How are things with Zack? I bet Nelson would have enjoyed watching you beat the crap out of him.

Guess what! I’ve been accepted into Holy Spirit College at Cambridge! I got the scholarship! It will pay all of my tuition fees and even for my accommodation! So all my parents have to pay for is my food! The scholarship even covers the costs of my books I have to buy for course work!

How good is that?

===============================================

TO: [e-mail]
FROM: [e-mail]
SUBJECT: Congratulations!!
DATE: 04/ 05/ 03

Congratulations Sally! Getting the scholarship just shows how good you are!

What course will you be doing? I’ve applied to do the English degree at Cambridge as well as the option to study a language, and I chose Latin. So did Nelson actually, she wants to study Classics and the option to learn Latin too.

Hey, you wanna know something funny? When you told me about which College you applied for, I had a closer look at my copy of the application form that was sent in on my behalf, and the College that was selected was also Holy Spirit. It’s the same with Nelson… I wonder if it’s a coincidence?

So far Nelson, Pat and I haven’t heard back from Cambridge on our applications yet. I wonder how much longer we will have to wait? Oh yeah, Pat has also applied to do Computer Science there too. Actually, come to think of it, he’s also another Holy Spirit entrant.

I do think that’s kind of strange. I wonder when Professor Hamilton and Nell helped us apply for Cambridge they did this on purpose so we would all be together? Or maybe the ‘Circulate’ who will be paying for our way through Uni designed for us to stay close?

Did I tell you that the Circulate will be paying our way? Only they’re telling our parents that it’s some scholarship fund instead. I can’t remember what name the scholarship fund was given, it was something to try to make it sound legitimate and prestigious.

I told Dad about it over the phone last month, which he told me to say it slowly so he could write it down and look into it himself.

I think he sounded a little disappointed that I wanted to stay overseas. I mean, I finished High School in Canada and now Uni in the UK? It’s almost like I didn’t just go away for boarding school, but full on left home when I was 16.

I told him that the scholarship will pay my tuition, course costs, accommodation and food fund. Dad was so impressed that my grades have reached the stage that they can be scrutinized by Cambridge standards that he told me he’ll keep up with putting $200 in my account each month for any extras I might need so I don’t have to get a part-time job. He says that this way, I can concentrate on my studies.

Zack said he would have done something about Peter bad mouthing me, only I doubt it would have been as extreme as my measures taken. Yeah, Nelson saw it. She even applauded! Yep, she definitely enjoyed the show. Peter isn’t her favourite person with his loud mouth, but I don’t like it how together they both used to give me a hard time over Guy and how I’m supposed to be the fourth strongest Circulator. But I guess that it was more Peter.

Since the fight, Peter hasn’t said ‘boo’ to me. He doesn’t even look at me. I think I not only broke his nose, but his ego too.

Everyone at school at the moment is asking me heaps of questions about my ability to instantaneously phase. Jordon, Numu, Wong, Nelson and Pat keep asking me to do it again to show them. Or when I come back from my classes with Dr. Myles, they come to my room and ask me what’s new that I’ve been taught.

Right now Dr. Myles is teaching fencing. Luckily so far he hasn’t charged at me again, with a sword this time. But he’s teaching me some parrying skills with the sword so that I will next integrate them with my phasing ability. I can learn to make swords go through my head with out blood and brains spilling everywhere.

Gees that feels weird to write. I wonder if anyone ever got hold of our correspondence, what they would think when they read all this? Teen aged girls learning to go see-through to stop anything from entering their bodies, but just go through them instead… sounds kind of kinky, hey? Maybe we could market this as some kind of safe sex ploy? LoL! Maybe you and Josh could try this out some time… especially now you’ll be in the same college as your stud muffin! You’ll almost be moving in with him! How long did you say you’ve been going out with him for? LoL!

Ciao meow!

P.S. I haven’t heard back from Sophie. Do you think I should write her another letter? Or give it until the end of the month?


============================================================

07/ 05/ 03

Diary,

To be honest, this still hasn’t been a very good week. I guess it’s been better than last week had been, but still… I’ve smoothed things over with Pat and Nelson, but I’ve still been sitting with Maya, Raj, Jordon and Numu either in class or in the cafeteria.

I’m doing this, so that I stay away from Zack.

For some reason diary, I’m finding this hard to do. He’s in all my classes, but I can’t talk to him? It’s ridiculous! He’s ignoring me too, I can tell. If we accidentally look at each other at the same time, we both quickly look either down at our books, or out the window, or even at somebody else… just as long as it’s away.

I miss not being able to hang around him like I always used to.

The good side to all this distancing has been to also get away from Peter… who’s now not talking to me, acknowledging me or even looking my way. But I felt bad about what I had done, when I saw his nose and eye looking all puffed up and bruised. And he was limping a little for two days, from his sore ribs.

I felt like I was a ‘hit man’, like in the mob or something. I felt so guilty, I almost put myself on detention! On Monday night I lingered behind after dinner and helped Lynette, a kitchen hand, collect all the trays of dishes from the tables.

I shouldn’t have used violence, I should have just verbally abused him instead. I’ve been re-enacting the scene over and over again in my head, imagining what I should have done and should have said. I mean, I can think of some good insults and one-liners now… one week later. I must be thick as two bricks to only think of them now.

Why did I react so badly over what he said? I shouldn’t care what Peter says or thinks! He’s a loud mouth! And Pat and Zack were telling him to shut up, so it wasn’t like they were listening or agreeing with him anyway.

Why am I anxious about all of this? I don’t know…

I haven’t been sleeping properly either. I just keep picturing and replaying the fight over and over in my head. I feel evil. I feel like I’m a bad person. I feel so guilty.

Everyone looks at me differently now. They all know what I’m capable of. They’ve all seen what I can do. And they know like I know, that I’m supposed to get even stronger.

Jordon, Wong and Numu all ask questions on my ability to phase with out mirrors or windows or water; and Numu even asked if I could teach her what I’m being taught. But I didn’t know what to tell her. I can’t just turn around and say, “ha ha, sucked in! You can’t do it because I’m more powerful than you are!”

I don’t understand why all Circulators just can’t be taught to do this. I don’t want to be special or different anymore.

At least when we found out the real reason why we were sent to this school, we were all in this together. Now I’m going through all of this alone. And I really hate being singled out this way.

============================================================

10/ 05/ 03

Diary,

I didn’t go to ‘fun night’ tonight. I mean, I ate the dinner, but afterwards I didn’t go and watch either of the two movies being shown in the Rec rooms. I thought Zack would probably want to watch one of the action movies in the Gamma building, so I stayed in my room in the dorms. I had to finish my Physics assignment anyway.

I thought this way I could kill three birds with one stone.

1. Stay away from Zack.
2. Do my homework
3. Punish myself further by trying to do Physics.

And all was going to plan, until there was a knock on my door.

Before I could get up from my bed, Zack opened the door and came in.

“Why are you avoiding me?” he demanded as his greeting.

“I’m not.” I blatantly lied.

“Yeah, right.” He stood his ground, folding his arms in front.

“I mean, I’m not doing it on purpose.” I sat up to face him.

“Oh really? Then why are you still sitting with Maya and Raj in the Caf all the time?”

“They’re my friends too.” I came up with my flimsy excuse. “And anyway, why are you ignoring me? Are you still pissed over that comment last month?”

“That’s long forgotten! Look, I would have told Peter to shut up but you interrupted us!” Zack said in a flustered voice. He looked really stressed out.

“Zack, close my door.” I ordered.

“What? You want me to get out?” he said angrily.

“No, I want you to close my door so we can talk privately.” I rolled my eyes.

He eventually obeyed before he sat beside me on the bed.

I put down my book, and sighed, “Zack, at the moment there is so much shit going on in my life, I’m just trying to keep my head above water right now. I mean, we’ve got to do these exams, get the University we applied for, and also I’ve been given all these extra classes on top of everything else where Dr. Myles keeps attacking me while he calls it ‘teaching self-defense’. I feel really bad about Peter, when I think about it now, I think I just snapped.” I told him, then quickly added, “and I still feel bad about that swipe I made at you those weeks ago. That was really low of me; especially when I’m the only one who knows about your secret.”

Zack was quiet for a little while, as I didn’t and couldn’t, look at him.

I tried to look thoughtful, or distracted or something, as I used my forefinger to trace around the lacy pattern of the quilt cover my Gran had made for me. I had to seem preoccupied with the lace, other wise I was worried Zack would see into my eyes and see my true thoughts on this matter… that I missed him.

I missed his company. I missed doing our homework together. I missed the old jokes we would share, having the same, stupid sense of humor. I guess this was one of the reasons why I felt so lonely lately.

“Is that it, Elisha?” he spoke, but I still didn’t look up.

“Well…” I struggled for what to say, when Zack’s hand suddenly lifted my chin up so our eyes could meet.

His eyes looked like they were getting tearful.

Shit. I’m so tired of hurting him… I don’t want to hurt him anymore.

“Look Zack. I care for you so much, you’re my best friend! You don’t put me down all the time like Nelson does, you don’t make my life a living hell like Peter does, and you always share your time with me. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I don’t know what to do! I miss not hanging around you.”

“Being away from you is hard for me.” he said strongly. “You’re my best friend too!”

Suddenly he leaned forward, and I got a little worried for a second that he was going to try to kiss… but instead his face went past mine and he enveloped me in a tight hug.

“We should try and spend as much time with each other, especially now with University coming up. Nelson told me you and she have applied for Cambridge. I’ve just been accepted into Yale, so we’re going to be on opposite sides of the planet soon!”

“You’ve been accepted?! Congratulations Zack! I know how hard you worked for it.” I squeezed him back even tighter.

When he pulled away, I noticed he did a quick scan of my now bare walls around my bed.

“Hey, where are the letters and stuff of Guy’s?” Zack queried.

“Buried. Like he is. And my past with him. We’re definitely very much over now.” I stated.

“It’s about time!” Zack exclaimed as if to say, ‘hallelujah’!. But then he saw the look on my face, “I mean, I’m sorry. That’s terrible. If you want to talk about it…” he said obligatorily.

“No, I don’t.”

“Phew!” he let out a sigh of relief. “But what about your promise to look after his son? Are you still going to protect him?”

“Yeah. If he drops dead from a gunshot wound or canon fire, I’ll do something about it. But other than that…” I drawled before I shrugged it off dismissively.

============================================================

TO: [e-mail]
FROM: [e-mail]
SUBJECT: It’s Official!
DATE: 12/ 05/ 03

Sally, guess what!

Pat, Nelson and I received our acceptance letters today! We will both attend Cambridge and live in Holy Spirit College. We four will all be together!

I’ll definitely meet your Josh now! How old is he? Will he be a 2nd year or a 3rd year when we start?

We sat our first exam today. It was Biology at 8 AM. Thank God it wasn’t as bad as I was worried it would be.

Last night Zack, Nelson, Pat, Peter and I all crammed into Pat’s room with Trance playing in the background. We stayed up until about 2 AM doing some last minute revisions, and then I woke up at 6 AM and did some more.

I skipped breakfast in the Caf but I made myself two cups of coffee from the kettle in the 2nd Rec Room downstairs in the Dorm. Both Nelson and Zack ended up joining me at 6.30 AM, I don’t know if Peter was still asleep, but Pat was.

Pat was as cool as a cucumber, sleeping in until the last possible moment until 7.50 AM, before rolling out of bed and stumbling over, still with sleep in his eyes, to Alpha Building. It must be so comfortable for him to be so smart! Bloody smart-arse!

When we walked out at 10 AM we were famished! I ate two sandwiches with my bottle of OJ from the Caf. Then we had a study break from 10:30 AM to 12.30 PM, in the library, which was meant to include lunch, but now we weren’t hungry. And it wasn’t just from stuffing our faces at 10 AM, but because of nerves from our upcoming 2nd exam for the day at 1.30 PM… MATHS!

Zack and I were really panicking. Math has never been our best let alone our favourite subject. We sat quietly away from everyone else now and re-read over our text books and class notes, trying to refresh our minds with every lesson we’ve had this year. When we were in the library, Zack and I got annoyed at Nelson, Pat, Peter, Maya and Raj at one point coz they started chatting away pretty loudly.

I GOT SHITTY AT MAYA FOR TALKING IN THE LIBRARY, can you believe this?! Remember once upon a time the roles were reversed? I guess Zack and I were just really stressed out as it seemed like everyone else was blasé about the coming Exam of Doom.

After the exam was over at 3.30 PM; Zack and I walked out of the classroom so relieved to still be alive. To take our minds off how we went, we decided to go for a swim. Nelson said that sounded like a good idea and that she would join us. But then Pat, to try and spend more time with his girlfriend, said he’d come too.

We four went back to the Dorms to change; when Pat, Nelson and I found that we had mail which arrived for us, sticking out from under our doors. As soon as we saw that the envelopes had the Cambridge University emblem on the envelopes, we ripped them open immediately.

Phew! I got in! We got in, I should say. I was worried I may have had to ring Dad back up and say, ‘whoops, I didn’t get in after all. You’re stuck with me again.’ I mean, I could have gone to an Australian University; but I had this feeling, like an instinct, that I needed to go to the UK, and Cambridge in particular.

Yes, you read correctly, ‘then Pat to try and spend more time with his girlfriend, said he’d come too.’

The Pat/ Nelson coupling is beginning to become loose. I think it’s sad actually. Pat was/ still in way over his head for the woman, but the woman never really let down her shields/ guard. Now over a year later, she’s getting itchy feet as well. She wants more time apart, and I can tell because I’ve overheard them argue about this more than once.

One of these times, was when I was waiting for them after class. I was only going to tell them that I wouldn’t go to the Caf with them for arvo tea but go straight up to the Library instead. I think they just had a history class and they had had a guest lecturer from the Circulate.

They had been studying Cuzco, the Incan capital around the early part of the 16th Century; during the culture’s hey day before the Spanish Conquistadors plundered. I think their lecturer was also an Incan himself. His name was Purto. He was actually pretty good looking, even if he did look to be in his late 30’s. He had long black hair and a small tattoo on the side of his face.

Hey, now I come to think of it, this Purto guy spoke to me. I thought it was a little strange at the time, but I didn’t think about it again so I forgot all about it. This was around three months ago. Pat and Nelson were taking their time packing their stuff up, because they were arguing about the ‘more space’ thing. This Purto was also packing up the slides that he had been showing for their class.

Pat and Nelson looked like they were pretty angry at each other; so I wondered if I shouldn’t disturb them and just go straight up to the library instead.

“Elisha Baker.” Purto said my name as he worked.

I was hanging around the doorway so I wasn’t surprised he saw me, but I thought it was weird that he knew my name. But this Circulate business was starting to feel commonplace, and I just assumed he knew about me. Or maybe he’s seen me around Circulate Headquarters.

When he said my name, it got Pat and Nelson’s attention. They stopped arguing and finally started to leave.

“Yes?” I answered.

“My name is Purto. It is good to meet you.” he spoke in a heavy South American accent.

“Thanks.” I said, not knowing what else to say.

That was it. That was all we said to each other. I left with Pat and Nelson.

So since then, I haven’t thought much about that afternoon. I completely forgot about it. But now, writing this to you, I wonder if I could try asking him some questions? Like, I have this feeling, like I mentioned before that I don’t think Professor Hamilton or Lucas Hodge are telling me everything I need to know. Maybe next time I see this guy, I can ask him? Maybe he knows more about Sophie and how I can reach her?

What do you think, Sally?


===============================================

TO: [e-mail]
FROM: [e-mail]
SUBJECT: RE: It’s Official!
DATE: 14/ 05/ 03

Congratulations to you too!

I’m looking forward to being University buddies with you! I’m not so sure on how I feel about sharing a dorm with Nelson again though. Has she changed? Reading your emails suggests not. Is she still an ‘upfront’ aka a bitchy kind of person?

It sounds like you guys are getting all the fun over there! Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should have stayed on. But if I had, then you wouldn’t have got all that information on Guy from me, and I would have never met Josh, while looking up more information for you (btw, Josh will be a 3rd Year next semester, doing the 2nd part of his Tripos). So maybe things do happen for a reason.

Maybe upon this reasoning, it has something to do with what Professor Hamilton has been telling you… that everything happens for a reason. Maybe I was supposed to leave when I did, so you could find out from me all the information you needed about Guy. Otherwise you may have never learned to phase by yourself, and then instantaneously phase. Maybe the teachers knew this, and that’s why you were never in serious trouble for when you ran away from school or when you kept in contact with Guy…?

So this brings us to the Sophie question. What point in time will be the right time that brings Sophie around? Brett/ Lucas ‘conveniently’ dropped the clues to his and Sophie’s secret language just before he popped off. He secretly gave you her contact address… so what and when will the moment happen that you reach her properly?

Use your time left at the College well Elisha. Use it to your advantage. Soak up all the training and education that the teachers are expelling to you. You never know when the next clue just might fall into your lap.

Sal.

===============================================

TO: [e-mail]
FROM: [e-mail]
SUBJECT: It’s all over thank God!
DATE: 16/ 05/ 03

Hey Sally,

Yeah, good point. I’ll try to keep my eyes open. In fact, when I go for my training tonight at Circulate HQ, I’ll try and find this Purto guy again, or try to have another chat to ‘Brett’. It’s like pulling teeth trying to find out anything, but maybe I just have to find another method.

Instead of pulling the teeth out, maybe I should try to cajole? Or I could use a Trojan horse by even giving them such a sweet and chewy toffee to eat. When their teeth get stuck in it, it’ll force the truth out when they force out the sweet.

Thank God exam week is all over. I sat an exam for every subject except English and Drama. I even had to sit an exam for philosophy, can you believe it?

At least for English I could write a 5,000 word essay on the symbolism used in the horror movie series, “A Nightmare in Elm Street” and relate it to the subconscious realm. I found this a lot of fun actually.

On one of my ‘Brown Day’ weekends early last month, I hired out all five of the “Elm Street” horror movies. Then I sat in the Rec Room downstairs of the Dorms, with a huge bowl of popcorn, a 2ltre bottle of Coke and a notepad and pen. Nelson, Pat and Zack ended up joining me to ‘help’, when they didn’t really. Pat and Zack got a little carried away with the remote control in typical Alpha Male behaviour.

I was writing notes of the images of the crucifix when Pat started going on about how I should be including the use of teenaged sex and how the people seem to die after ‘they do it’. Pat was constantly hitting the pause button every time the ‘deed’ came onto the screen and setting his watch to time how long a character lived afterwards! Nelson and I just cracked up laughing at him! I tell you what Sal, making notes for this essay was certainly a lot more fun than writing the bloody thing.

At least for Drama we didn’t have to write an essay, but I’m not sure whether I would have preferred to. Instead last night I had to perform a 15 minute monologue. I rewrote a chapter from “The Portrait of Dorian Grey” and converted it into a monologue that was combined with the ‘Ministry of Silly Walks’ by Monty Python.

I was Dorian talking to the audience and my ‘painting’, whilst complaining that the Ministry of Silly Walks had knocked back my application. For the portrait of myself, it was actually a gilt edge, circular mirror. So I got to dress myself as a late 19th Century nobleman in tops and tails, complete with a white rose in my jacket button-hole.

It was a lot of fun to dress up, you know me and my fascination for period costume… LoL! The only thing I didn’t like about this whole experience, was that we had to perform in front of an audience! We had to put on our monologues in the theatre (Miss Inez operated lighting by dimmer board in the back corner) After dinner, the whole school and teaching faculty was invited! Even the admin staff and cooks and cleaners came! So there were like 40 people watching.

Nelson and I were so nervous. She was also dressed up for her monologue. She had re-written a scene from Dracula and she was going to portray Lucy Westenra, as a scene in her bedroom where she tosses and turns and waits for her nocturnal visit from her dark lover. Sounds raunchy – doesn’t it? Nelson looked so hot for the role. Her real hair is still pretty short and spiky and dyed black, so she wore a long, curly red wig. And the wig really suited her green eyes!

I think we accidentally embarrassed her. Maya, Numu, Jordon, Wong and I kept telling her how fabulous she looked with her wig on, especially with the form-fitting lacy Victorian night gown. She ended up putting her hand out in a ‘stop’ gesture and then she turned around and walked off to stand by herself in a corner!

I was so nervous about my turn on the stage. Wong was finishing up her monologue based on “Farewell my Concubine” and I was on right after her, and then Nelson was after me. My hands were shaking, the material under my underarms were getting wetter and wetter, and my throat felt like it was closing up. I had full-on stage fright!

“Nelson, quick! Insult me or something.” I rushed over to her desperately.

“What?” Nelson gave me a funny look.

“Pick on me! Make me angry with one of your put-downs! I’m scared shitless and I’m next!” I pleaded.

“You are a pathetic excuse for a human because you’re one of the weakest people I know. Will that do?” she sneered.

“Thanks. As usual, you always know the perfect thing to say.” I muttered as I walked away.

I quickly adjusted my neck tie as the audience clapped Wong off the stage.

Nelson’s words didn’t really help, but the good thing about the bright lights on the stage was I couldn’t see the audience clearly. In fact, I could hardly see anything or anyone beyond the edge of the stage at all. So I imagined that the audience wasn’t there, that I really was Dorian Grey going about his business, which was of course himself. I did hear the audience’s laughter at all the right places thanks to Oscar Wilde’s wonderful words, and Monty Python’s slapstick; which helped me along. At the end and I was applauded off, it still took like half an hour to stop my hands shaking from the adrenaline rush!

“You were so good! Congratulations!” Zack rushed over and hugged me.

He did this when all the monologues were over and the performers came out from back stage to mix with everybody again.

“Really?” I asked almost frantically.

I was looking right into his eyes to try and judge whether he was being honest or not.

“Of course! You were fantastic!” Zack laughed at my reaction.

I turned to see Pat try to do the same thing with Nelson. But poor Pat, Nelson immediately pulled herself out of his arms and quickly turned her face around so when he tried to kiss her, his lips landed on her cheek instead of her mouth.

“Congratulations on a job well done. Your performances tonight were exemplary.” Pat said coldly, then released her and walked off.

Zack and I were watching this a little stunned. I guess her and Pat’s relationship is in more trouble than I thought. As we exchanged a surprised look, Nelson realized she was still putting on a performance. So she quickly walked off, returning back stage again to change out of her costume.

Woah, I see things are way more serious than I thought before. Later on that night when we were all returning to the Dorms, I knocked on her door to see if she wanted to talk about it. I could hear her music coming out from the other side, but she didn’t answer.

Great. She’s doing the lock down thing where she alienates everybody… again. Damn! She has been making progress, I promise you Sally.

===============================================

TO: [e-mail]
FROM: [e-mail]
SUBJECT: So What is Everyone Else Doing?
DATE: 18/ 05/ 03

Hey Elisha,

What did you find out from Circulate Head Quarters? Any news? Any gossip? What’s new in conspiracy theory land? Did you even see Brett/ Lucas or this Purto person?

What is everyone else doing University-wise? Who is else is coming to Cambridge? What about Peter and Zack or Maya and Raj?

My Finals are over too, which is such a relief! Some of the rich girls in my school are going to Ibiza to party courtesy of their parents paychecks. My parents can’t afford to send me there as a reward, so instead they’re letting me go on a week’s vacation with Josh. I met him when he was doing research for his dissertation on the Politics of Tudor Warfare. He’s still got some research to do and is going to check out a castle in Kent and he asked if I’d like to come with him.

It’s no Ibiza, but it’s still getting away from this place! We’ll even spend two nights on the coast of Newquay which is like the UK’s surfing capital! So it won’t be all work.

Oh yeah, before I go. My course is Anglo-Saxon, Norse & Celtic, and my foreign language is also Insular Latin. I’ll be in some of your classes! That’s pretty good, right? Not so sure how happy I am to be sharing them with Nelson though.

I just hope she manages to defrost from Canada before she comes over.

===============================================

TO: [e-mail]
FROM: [e-mail]
SUBJECT: Who’s Doing What…
DATE: 19/ 05/ 03

Hey Sal,

Nup, there was no sign of Brett or Purto at HQ on Friday night. I asked the Gate Controller if they were here or had phased somewhere else, and he said ‘else’.

I’m starting to think it’s a bit funny how every time I arrive, which is three times a week, Brett is not there. I’ve only just started trying to catch Purto, so I’m not sure of his availability. But I wouldn’t be surprised if I find his comings and goings just as erratic – or as evasive - as our lead councilman.

The good thing though with all my self-defense classes, was last Friday night as Dr. Myles was trying to hack his sword into me; I could integrate my phasing ability with my fighting. The steel went straight through me. Plus I’m reforming back into solid shape faster now. I’ll give you an example…

Dr. Myles darted forward and lunged the sword through my see-through stomach. When he withdrew, he momentarily had his guard down so by the time I had reformed, the tip of my sword was sitting right at his throat!

“Touché.” Dr. Myles smirked.

He stepped back and using his free hand, he lowered the sword point from his skin.

At last! He’s finally given me some sort of praise! I had nearly given up on the idea of any positive reinforcement being in his vocabulary! But then he ruined the warm fuzzy moment with his next choice of words.

To say I was splashed with cold water wouldn’t be strong enough… it was more like a gallon of liquid nitrogen had been dropped over my head and shoulders.

“Elisha, a day may come, and sooner than you may think, that you may have to push that sword a little bit further than the outside of your enemies epidermis.”

Just as he said that I wanted to drop the sword and run out of the room. I just looked at him, and to say that I was feeling ‘apprehensive’ would have been a very big exaggeration. Why did he say that to me? What does he ultimately want?

“I don’t ever want to kill a person.” I glared adamantly.

“Maybe one day you could control your ability so much so that you could ultimately control any situation. I just need to warn you though, that we are teaching you these skills because even with being able to move or see through time, it doesn’t always guarantee a certain outcome. Remember what you learned about Temporal Causalities. If you showed up or changed situation A, then B will follow on from that, which changes the final outcome of C.”

“I thought we in the Circulate don’t want to mirror Mankind’s destructive nature and we prefer not to kill people.” I remembered a certain lecture we were given over a year ago. It was when the knowledge of our ability was told to us.

“That’s right. We PREFER not to kill. But preference does not dictate necessity, nor outcomes.” He took my sword and walked over to the weapons locker to return it with his.

“Is class over?” I asked shortly.

“Yes, today’s class has ended. But I want to let you know, that the lesson is only beginning.” He turned and looked my way long and hard. “One day you will understand all of this, and why we teach you the way we do.”

I turned and quickly left.

I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible! I felt unsettled by what Dr. Myles had just said. It was a good thing I asked about Brett and Purto when I first arrived, coz I didn’t stick around much longer after that.

That’s why I didn’t email you yesterday, Sally. I wanted some time to think about what has been told; not just by Dr. Myles, but by everyone here.

I wondered why not all Circulators are getting taught this sort of thing; where Sophie might figure into this; and why maybe there seems to be only four Circulators who can instantaneously phase or sense temporal rifts? And what perhaps dictates the necessity of killing people, and how it factors into this equation?

Anyway, in answer to your other question on what every body else is doing… Peter is going back to the UK; then he, Numu, Soong, Wong and Jordon will attend Oxford. Zack, Maya, Raj, Yuichi, Jose and Rosa will go to Yale and the lucky last three, Giselle, Paulo and Darianne will all attend Harvard.

So there you go… it’s just Pat, Nelson and I that are coming to Holy Spirit with you.

I wish Zack was coming. I’m really going to miss him. But I guess since we’re Circulators, it’s not like we’re never going to see each other, is it?

E.

============================================================