Chapter 5 - Jak

Oh God Oh God Oh God...
That didn't just happen.
She Knows... She knows!!

Of all the stupid things to say to her... I can't believe that's what I said. It's bad enough that I follow her round like a little lost puppy! 'I like being close to you' my arse! She's going to know how I feel now, and she's going to leave me.
OH GOD
What if she does leave me? I can't cope without Tar!
I'm so STUPID!

'Are you okay?' I looked up to see her studying my face, a worried expression crossing her features that must have mirrored my own. Desperately I tried to iron out the creases of concern that riddled my forehead.
'Y-Yeah, I'm fine.' I forced a smile.
'Are you sure? You look...Terrified.'
I am terrified! I yelled at her in my head Terrified you're going to leave!
'No, no I'm fine. Just worried about tonight' I lied through my teeth. I knew I had nothing to worry about tonight, I wouldn't be sleeping, so I wouldn't change. That's if Tar stuck around that long.
'Stupid Stupid Stupid!' My inner monologue taunted me. I may as well have just told her I was in love with her, had it over and done with.
She smiled at me, flashing both rows of her shiny white teeth, fangs and all. My heart melted.
'You've got nothing to worry about, I'll be right by your side all night. I promise.'
Hmmmm That didn't sound like a lie.
'You're not leaving me?' I blurted out. Stupid. Why did I ask her?
She laughed 'No! Why on earth would I be leaving you? I thought I was supposed to be worrying about you leaving me'
Oh God! She wasn't going to leave, she was going to make me leave instead! It was her house, after all. Where would I go? I tried to keep my face straight whilst internally fighting off the panic that was rebuilding within my chest.
She stopped walking. We were already outside the maths classroom. She put her hand gently on my shoulder 'We're late already, but we'll talk about this after school, okay?'
I nodded blankly. Her skin felt warm again and I struggled to concentrate through the current that seemed to run through her fingertips into my arm. I didn't want to talk about this later... I didn't want to talk about this ever.

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The sunlight poured through the gap in the curtains, and I watched the dust dancing carelessly in the glow. I loved this time of the evening, just before the sunset, everything seemed so peaceful. I could hear Tar playing Piano softly in the drawing room. I recognised the tune, it was the same song she had first played to me, 4 years ago. She played it almost every night now. It was our song she said. I stood up,and laid my book on the seat of the old leather armchair. Carefully, so as to avoid the floorboards that creaked, I made my way to the door.
Tar continued to play, even though I know she'd have heard me walk closer, despite my carefulness to keep quiet, Tar heard everything.
She had locked herself in the kitchen to feed when we got in from school, not wanting me to see her drinking blood, and we'd hardly spoken since. I had been in no hurry to discuss what happened today at school, but now, I decided I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. I needed to tell her how I felt.
I crept around the doorframe, into the room where I could see Tar's siloutte. She had moved the Piano to face the window, and although I'm sure she heard me walk up behind her, there was no hesitation in her playing. I leant in behind her, so my chin was just above her shoulder and watched the way her fingers moved so deftly across the keys. Every movement was filled with such fluidity, Tar's playing was almost as beautiful to watch as it was to hear. I could smell the sweetness of her breath, the steady rhythm of her rising chest acting as a metronome. I slipped my arms around her waist, carefully so as not to disturb her playing, desperate to have her close to me. It was now or never.
'I love you, Tar' I whispered into her ear, slowly tracing the words on her neck with my lips.
She stopped playing and I froze.
'Jak...' Her head tilted to the side, her eye's fixing on mine. '...You don't have to pretend.'
What?? Pretend?? I let out an involuntary laugh. 'Why on earth would I be pretending? I love you.' I squezzed her waist gently. 'I...I know you're probably going to make me leave now, but I couldn't keep it in any longer. I had to tell you.'
To my utter astonishment, she laughed. Not just a little chuckle, but a deep throaty guffaw. Great My inner Monologue piped up. Now she's laughing at you. May as well go and pack your things now, Idiot. Before I could do anything to stop it, my eyes welled up. I single tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.
I sighed and stood up straight again, turning towards the door. 'I'll...I'll go pack now.' My voice trembled as I tried to hold back the sobs that were rising in my throat. I knew that would be her reaction, so why did I feel so shocked by it? '
I'm sorry Tar.' I took a step forwards and felt her hand grab my arm.
'Pack?' She moved so quickly my eye's couldn't follow her. Before I knew it, she was stood right in front of me. Her arms reached out for me, settling gently around my waist and my Inner monologue went crazy.
She doesn't hate me! She want's me to Stay! I shouted at the voice in my head. There was no reply, and I beamed at the positive thoughts running though my head, for once not poisoned with negativity
She cocked her head to the side, looking bemused. I must be grinning like an idiot. I quickly straightened my face out into a normal smile. 'You don't want me to leave?' I asked, my voice barely audible. I knew she could hear me.
'No. I definately don't want you to leave.'
Forcefully, she pulled me closer, pressing her lips fiercely against mine. My whole body felt electrified, the same current I had always felt when she touched me, only a thousand times stronger pulsed through my veins.
Then I blacked out.

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