Jakob (pt 2)

“I guess not. Land of the Dead has got nothing on this.” grumbled Jakob, tossing her the letter opener. He tried the door again and wasn’t at all surprised to find it was now open. He looked into Haley’s eyes and snapped his fingers in her face.

“Hellooo. You awake?” Her pupils shrank and her eyes resumed their previous shade of green.

“Yeah,” she mumbled, “I’m good. How about you?”

“I’ve still got some fractures I need to work on healing and I lost some skin somewhere near the file cabinet. My pelvis might also be broken…” Jakob couldn’t help but feel a little proud at the way he made Haley shudder. He led her down the hall to his room. He slipped his key into the lock and opened the door. A baseball bat crashed into his shoulder a second later. Someone gasped and the lights turned on. Haley had Dr. Sarah against the wall with the letter opener to her throat.

“Haley,” hissed Jakob, “Let her go.” Haley dropped the blade and backed away from the gasping woman. Sarah sighed in relief and wrapped her arms around Jakob.

“Oh Jakob! I’m so glad you’re alright. I was worried sick about…” She stopped and her fingers quickly groped Jakob’s thin frame. She ran her fingers along his spine and down each of his ribs, her face growing whiter and whiter.

“Oh, God, you have got to lie down!” Her voice squeaked.

“What’s wrong?” asked Haley. The doctor didn’t answer. Instead she hauled Jakob to a couch and propped his head up on some pillows. The woman worked quickly and before long Jakob was stripped down to his underwear and was sound asleep under a sedative. She carefully placed a blanket over his body and ran a hand across his forehead. It reminded Haley of how her mother had once taken care of her when she had a fever. The doctor’s head snapped back to Haley as if she had just remembered she was there. She motioned with a hand towards a small dining room and Haley followed her. Once they were out of earshot from the snoozing boy the doctor flopped into a chair at the head of a small table. Haley sat in a chair next to her.

“I don’t know what’s going on.” Sarah moaned, nearly hysterical. “Last night I stepped into Mr. Corbin’s office and he was having a discussion with a man in a white suit and a few hours ago when I brought him his coffee for the morning he was a…monster or something. I locked myself in Jakob’s room and waited for the beast to come and get me but he didn’t. I’m guessing Jakob is in his present condition as a result of a confrontation with this creature?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t remember much of what happened.” Haley sighed, rubbing her temples.

“Is your name Haley, then?”

“Oh, yes. Yes that’s my name. I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself. I’m also sorry for pushing you against the wall. I thought you were trying to hurt Jakob.”

“Hurt Jakob? Oh, the bat. No, that wouldn’t have hurt him. I knew that hitting anyone normal over their shoulders would drop them in one go but not Jakob. His muscular and skeletal structures there are incredible, very compact and outrageously strong. Assuming his legs were up to it, and they aren’t, he could carry a decent sized car on his shoulders. I don’t know why.”

“What else do you know about him?”

“Oh no, missy.” Scolded the doctor, “Not until you give me some information on who you are and why you are skipping around with Jakob.”

“Not much to tell really.” Haley said, rolling her eyes, “I moved out early and live in an old house that used to belong to my grandmother until she died two years ago. I attend the high school in town. Recently I have been suffering from visions and vertigo that may suggest something serious, as in serious on a “You’re going to die” scale, is moving our way and it is based in the garbage dumps east of the city. I tried to commit suicide yesterday morning in an attempt to skip out on the end of the world but Jakob, who was assigned to kill me, found me shortly after I died and brought me back. We’ve been together ever since. Afore mentioned visions include…” The doctor quickly put her fingers over Haley’s lips.

“That’s enough of that, miss. Your thoughts are your own. I think that you’ve told me enough information for me to trust you, especially since Jakob seems to trust you as well. What do you want to know about him?” Haley leaned back in her chair and began to play with her hair.

“Well for one thing, tell me what you can about him physically.”

“Let me think, he can’t die but he does feel pain. Enough pain for long enough periods of time can send him into shock.”

“Is that why you sedated him?” interrupted Haley.

“Yes. He can heal himself but larger wounds or multiple small wounds take time. This can be a problem in a combat situation because a broken leg, even when rapidly healing, can be a hindrance. Other than that and his shoulders, the rest of him seems almost human.”

“Almost?” Haley asked.

“He doesn’t get energy from the same places a regular human would. He doesn’t eat. Or at least, he doesn’t need to. Whatever is running him keeps his body temperature at ninety eight degrees even though there is no blood in his veins. Along with not needing to feed, neither does he need to breathe. However, extended periods of time without breath scare him and he will panic.”

“I find it hard to believe Jakob could fear anything.”

“Holding his breath, clowns, enclosed spaces, spiders, and sometimes heights.”

“Clowns?”

“He says they’re too insane to be trusted by little children. But that’s not physical, that’s mental and I think we should let him have a little privacy there…Haley?” Haley’s eyes had gone dark. Her pupils swallowed her irises. Haley stood suddenly, as if jerked by puppet strings and walked quickly to a closet in the kitchen adjoining the dining room. She pulled out a broom and snapped the handle away from the bristles.  Sarah moved to stop her but she shook her off.

“Just watch.” growled Haley. She took the letter opener from the table where she had put it down and split the wood at one end and notched it on either side. Then she wedged the handle of the silver knife in the split wood and wrapped some wire from her bracelet around the joint in the notches and twisted it tight. She pushed it into Sarah’s hands, stepped up to the couch where Jakob lay asleep and began to lift him to her shoulders.

“What’s going on Haley?” asked Sarah.

“More Mr. Corbins inbound. We have to move. Silver works well against them. Use that spear. I’ll carry Jakob.”

“More monsters…” The doctor began to sway on her feet.

“Sarah.” said Haley, her voice deep.

“Yes?”

“They want to hurt Jakob. You aren’t going to let them, are you?” Haley learned some new words from Sarah’s response.





The plan was for Haley and Sarah to drag Jakob’s prone form to an elevator and use his key to get to the lobby and exit the building but the idea was shot full of holes almost instantly. The elevator was shut down. Plan B was for them to sneak down a maintenance stairwell and not be noticed by any lifeless creatures. This strategy was also cast asunder when Haley verified several hostiles closing in from the top and bottom floors. Luckily the third plan, which consisted of rushing down the stairs with Sarah jabbing for the head and Haley hacking off dangerous limbs with a katana from Jakob’s bedroom worked surprisingly well.

Haley wiped the gore from her blade on her jeans, her eyes constantly scanning the stairs ahead and behind. Sarah was occupied with tying a strip of her sleeve on the end of her spear behind the tip to keep the burning, putrefied flesh from sliding down the shaft and onto her hands when Haley gave a hiss and dropped to her haunches.

“What’s coming?” asked Sarah. Haley pushed Jakob’s body into a corner and crouched in front of him.

“I feel three coming up the stairs. I wish Jakob had let me bring the guns. Any ideas?”

“I hear men these days find scars attractive.”

“Sounds good to me.” laughed Haley. The first zombie to step onto their landing managed a step or two before it had its leg sheared off at the knee. It collapsed to the floor and Sarah smashed its skull under her heel. The second came closely behind the first. Haley recognized it as a bank teller she had only just seen that afternoon when Jakob had brought her to the bank. Apparently the transformation was only taking an hour at the most. The corpse lunged at the two women but was tripped up by the spasms of the now brainless monster on the floor. It tumbled into Haley who quickly rammed its face into the handrail and sent it flying onto Sarah’s spear. They both seized it by the arms and tore the rotting joints apart. Whether it was the brain damage, the silver, or the spirit inside leaving a now useless body, the zombie fell to the floor next to its comrade.

Sarah and Haley turned quickly to deal with the third but it was too late. It was already bearing down on Sarah. It wrapped its fingers around her throat and she released a gurgling gasp that made Haley’s skin tingle. Haley raised the katana for a strike that would cleave the beasts head in two and in doing so exposed her stomach. A dead foot rammed into her gut and sent her up six steps. Sarah’s ragged breath rang through Haley’s head and she screamed at her inability to move. All she could do was watch. She was pondering the possibility that they would both die right then when two hands burst from the zombie’s midriff. It dropped Sarah and howled as the hands took hold and began to pull. It scrabbled at the wall, trying to find a handhold and break free but to no avail. It gave one final screech as it was ripped in half. Jakob stepped through the two pieces of his enemy and helped Sarah to her feet.

“That’s two come-from-behind attacks in as many hours.” sighed Jakob. “You know I wouldn’t have to use them so much if you two would just friggin stay out of trouble.”





…O, Death

Won't you spare me over till another year

Well what is this that I can't see

With ice cold hands takin' hold of me

Well I am death, none can excel

I'll open the door to heaven or hell

Whoa, death someone would pray

Could you wait to call me another day

The children prayed, the preacher preached

Time and mercy is out of your reach

I'll fix your feet till you can’t walk

I'll lock your jaw till you can’t talk

I'll close your eyes so you can't see

This very air, come and go with me

I'm death I come to take the soul

Leave the body and leave it cold

To draw up the flesh off of the frame

Dirt and worm both have a claim

O, Death…



Jakob’s voice echoed through the lobby and into the halls and offices of the bank. It resonated with a deep southern timbre that rumbled in Haley’s chest. Lines of dead marched in time with the song to surround Jakob. Each added its own voice to the music, some plaintive and longing, others raucous and excited. Slowly Jakob moved among them and released their souls with his voice. Each one would give a sigh and disintegrate into ash. Soon Jakob, Haley, and Sarah were alone. Jakob’s call to rest faded with one final note and he turned to face the girl and the woman.

“Are they all gone, then?” asked Sarah.

“Yes.” Jakob said. “And they’ll never be used again.” he added angrily.

“I wonder who sent them.” pondered Haley out loud.

“I don’t know.” grumbled Jakob. “Probably the same man Corbin wanted to please by killing you. Maybe even the same one Sarah saw in Corbin’s office. The man dressed in white. Anyway, Haley and I should visit the garbage dumps and see what’s happening there. Sarah, you will go home, understood?” Sarah voiced her objections loudly but Jakob silenced her.

“Look, I don’t even like Haley coming along but she’s necessary. I need her for her…talents and she needs me for mine. What I need from you is to stay alive, ok? I have your cell number. I’ll keep in contact I promise. Besides, I’m two years your elder. Do what I say.” And with that Jakob turned back to the mounds of ash and with a sweeping motion of his hand sent them all swirling out of the front door and into the sky.





Jakob’s forehead was raw from where he had pounded it against the steering wheel. Everyone was in such a rush. No one could spare a second to let the frazzled boy squeeze between their cars. Horns blazed like cannon fire and angry voices rubbed Jakob’s nerves like sandpaper. His fingers swam silently inside his shirt, fingering the grip of his revolver. Haley pinched him hard.

“Ow! What is your problem?” he hollered, immediately regretting his harsh tone.

“Sorry for keeping you from killing someone.” Haley pouted. Jakob sighed and put his hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you. Where would I be without you?” he said. She smiled for a moment but her brow quickly furrowed in thought.

“Without me…apparently you wouldn’t be destroyed. Do you remember what Corbin’s corpse had said? What do you think he meant?”

“You used logic to find my secret. Use it again.”

“You know the answer, don’t you?”

“Yes, but I’m going to make you figure it out.” Haley pinched him again. Grumbling she shimmied down into her seat and closed her eyes.

“Oh it’s so easy. I’m not physically a threat. You can’t be killed. So, if not physically, it must be mentally. I’m a mental threat. Corbin was afraid I would turn you against his cause. I asked you to help me stop the end of the world. Therefore, Corbin wanted to cause the end of the world. No…the man in white. The one who Sarah said she saw visiting Corbin before he turned into a monster. The man in white wants to cause the end of the world. I destroyed your usefulness to the man in white by turning you against his cause.”

“You’re good.” Jakob laughed. The entrance to the garbage dump loomed in the distance. It was hard not to notice. A large concrete wall covered in graffiti stretched from North to South as far as the eye could see. The dump had been a huge project to clean up the entire state. A neighboring city was evacuated and turned into a massive landfill. Every ounce of inorganic refuse in a thousand mile radius had been dumped here, in and around the buildings of the deserted city.

“Aren’t you even a little worried that….” Haley’s question was cut off by a subtle ringing from Jakob’s cell phone. Jakob deftly flipped it out of his pocket and hit speaker phone. The noise that issued from the phone sounded like the speaker was on the fritz. It was piercing and loud. A few moments passed and it slowed and stopped, only to be replaced by another loud note like it.

“Are those what I think they are?” asked Haley.

“Screams? Yeah.” Jakob checked the calling number and cursed loudly. He slammed the cell into a cup holder, stomped on the gas, and sent the DB9 roaring up onto the sidewalk. Colors blurred in Jakob’s window. There was barely enough room for the car to fit between the traffic and the building. Haley cringed when the passenger side mirror was ground down to nothing against the brick facade. Jakob squealed into the first right turn he could make. His free hand pounded the center console in frustration.

“Who friggin’ makes a five hundred thousand dollar car an automatic!” he growled. He spun the wheel to the right again and the Aston’s tires screamed in protest. They were in a back alley behind an industrial complex and punching the air at sixty miles and hour. The alley disappeared in the distance with no visible end. Jakob stomped the accelerator to the floor and the speedometer crawled up to eighty…ninety…and faltered at one hundred. The engine whine stopped increasing in pitch and the car would go no faster.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Jakob roared, thoroughly pissed off, “What year of car is this, two thousand and six?”

“I don’t know!” squealed Haley.

“Take the wheel.”

“What!?”

“Just do it!” yelled Jakob. Haley wrapped her fingers around the steering wheel and held tight. Jakob let go and slid his seat back as far as it would go. He dove under the dash and Haley screamed when she saw wires come flying out from underneath.

Suddenly the engine began its ascent once again into the higher rpm’s. Jakob popped up a second later with a piece of plastic and silicon in his hand. Lacerations covered his arms and burns populated his fingers but quickly shimmered and disappeared.

“Top speed limiter chip. Poorly installed. Original owner must have had a lead foot and too many speeding tickets. Gimmie the wheel.” Haley relinquished control gladly and closed her eyes as the world outside the car began to fuzz out. She opened them again when she heard Jakob mutter something to himself. She immediately regretted it. Not more than a quarter mile down the road the alley ended in a loading bay. It was a solid concrete construction with a metal roll-up bay door.

“Those doors are made of aluminum, right?” Jakob grumbled, mostly to himself.

“You can’t be serious.”

“You bet I am.” The DB9 collided with the aluminum wall at one hundred and seventy miles an hour. The front bumper spun past the windshield and the hood came off seconds later but the car made it through the door and kept going strong. Light was dim and filtered in through the windows high in the warehouse. Their speed had dropped significantly but Jakob was not to be denied and kept his foot on the gas. The building was massive. A cathedral of iron and glass. Ahead, at the other end of the warehouse, was a large concrete trough in the floor. Its purpose was to allow semi-trucks to back into the ditch and be level with the floor. Jakob was convinced its purpose was just to piss him off.

The drop was too much for the heavy car’s suspension. The area of flat ground along the left side of the hole was not meant for vehicles and the space between the solid wall and the drop was just barely too thin to accommodate the Aston. The right side was interrupted intermittently by support beams for the roof and at these speeds hitting one was not an acceptable risk. Jakob glanced from left to right until up against the wall on the left side he saw a low metal scaffold that had collapsed and formed a crude ramp just big enough for the left side wheels to run on. He gnawed his lips and dared not to blink.

He hit the ramp and sent the left side of the car into the air. It teetered on it’s center of gravity and began to fall back on its wheels only to have them meet the wall instead of the floor. Jakob whooped in success and Haley screamed through gritted teeth.

With two wheels on the wall and two on the floor the DB9’s wheel base had dropped enough for it to pass on the left side of the loading ditch. The Aston Martin left the warehouse at a thirty degree angle and dropped back onto all four wheels with a thud.

The back tires spun in the loose sand of the alley but finally gripped and they were off again. Haley breathed deeply and tried to look at anything but the blurred landscape outside. She caught a glimpse of Jakob’s phone. It was malfunctioning from the force of his toss into the cup holder. The screen continually blinked the callers name and number.

“Who is Slightly?” asked Haley.

“A friend of mine.” muttered Jakob, suddenly slinging the one and a half ton hunk of metal into a hard right drift. It spun dirt into the air and skittered onto a paved road that led towards a commercial area. A sleeping police officer in an unmarked Crown Victoria jumped at the growl of the exhaust and flipped on his sirens. He peeled out after the Aston and tossed his half finished coffee out the window. Jakob laughed out loud.

“No way can a Crown Vic match all these ponies!” The engine roared once again and the tires ate up the tarmac as the DB9 jumped from forty to sixty in the blink of an eye. The black police cruiser began to shrink in the rearview mirror when the Aston heaved a cough of fire out of its tailpipe and the engine wheezed to a stop.

“This isn’t happening.” Jakob wrung the wheel in his hands. With a sigh he slid the still coasting car, an example of the peak of British engineering, to its final stop. He kicked open the door and stepped out of the plush leather interior. Leaning against the quarter panel he patiently watched the approaching Ford with flashing lights on the dash. Haley joined him a second later.

“So what now?” she asked.

“We bum a ride. Get the case with your weapons out of the trunk. The katana too.” The officer skidded to a halt a regulation distance away and stepped out of his car with his hand on his pistol.

“Please put your hands on the hood of your vehicle!” he hollered.

“What hood?” Jakob yelled back. The uniformed man faltered for a second be quickly regained his composure.

“On the roof then! Hands on the roof!” The cop, with a badge that read Duncan, slowly edged closer to Jakob and gave a shout when he saw Haley trying to open the trunk. When he was a few yards away Jakob slid his revolver from its holster, turned on Duncan, and drew a bead on his chest. At the sight of the massive handgun, Duncan flipped his own pistol from its holster and fired. Jakob was surprised at the policeman’s practiced ease when he drew the gun. The bullet punched its way through Jakob’s right arm; his shooting arm. His hand did not waver. The second shot hit his right shoulder. Jakob stood as still as stone. The third shot hit him in the left side of his chest, a fatal blow by normal means. Jakob began to walk forward, his weapon still drawn. Bullet after bullet passed through Jakob’s torso and head. When Duncan’s magazine was empty, Jakob stood over him with sunlight pouring though twelve holes in his flesh. With a crack and a dull thud, Duncan hit the ground, out like a light. A few more snaps and pops announced the repairing of Jakob’s butchered body.

“Haley. Do you have everything?” asked Jakob. His voice was thick and husky.

“Yes…are you crying?”

“It was such a cool car!” moaned Jakob.





The county issued laptop gave a sharp, electronic chirp as Jakob pulled the cruiser alongside the curb at a so-called “Disturbance Rally Point.” The building across the street was a pizzeria that Slightly often visited for lunch. Or at least, that’s what it used to be.

The red brick façade was charred black and what remained of the wrought iron filigree was glowing red in places. The windows were shattered, but the front wall was still intact.

“There still might be people inside or out back still alive.” said Haley. She shuddered. Some still being alive involved others being dead.

“Yeah.” grunted Jakob. He flipped open the cylinder of the Smith and Wesson, checked his ammunition, kicked open the door of the car, and strode toward the blasted doorway of the pizza parlor. Haley scrambled out after him, one of the Uzis awkwardly in hand.

Glass crunched under Jakob’s feet as he stomped his way into the restaurant. Despite the worsted appearance of the front of the building, the inside was nearly intact. Nothing was charred or burned, but the tables and chairs were flipped over and the floor was scarred deeply in places by what must have been a sharp object. Jakob scanned the room with the muzzle of the revolver, sighing as Haley attempted to do the same with her machine pistol and only managed to ruin the effect. In the next instant, however, they both were paying acute attention to the back wall of the pizzeria. On the wall, close to the floor, was a crude graffiti, a red spray painted assault on urban artwork, that read quite simply,

"GIVE US THE SLIGHT ONE."

It didn't take long for Jakob to discern the meaning of these words. Apparently Slightly had been making some friends. He approached the back wall and ran a finger across the paint. It came off on his finger, an oily mess, being that it was still fresh. Haley suddenly grabbed Jakob by the shoulder.

"They're out back." she gasped, eyes wide and blank once again.

"Who is-" Jakob began to ask, but was interrupted by a maniacal yell and a deafening boom. The back door, a heavy ornate construction, gave way instantly under Jakob's equally heavy boot. The sights and sounds that assaulted his senses once he stepped outside required a minute to work out in his mind. Thankfully his body responded faster. He pressed Haley behind him and fired four shots in quick succession, each bullet's impact followed by a squeal of metal on metal. In a matter of seconds Jakob had reacted, but his mind was only just beginning to catch up.

He remembered seeing Slightly hunkered down behind a dumpster with a tarnished tube of metal cradled in his arms, Vikki by his side. He remembered seeing the bizarre creatures that kept Slightly pinned behind the steel box. He remembered firing the four shots and he could distinctly recall the sounds each bullet made entering the bodies of the monsters that now lay at his feet, twitching like crushed spiders. Both Haley and Jakob pulled a slow double take at the convulsing forms on the ground.

Their bodies were strangely insectoid but lacked anything organic in their structure. All of them were built of what appeared to be scrap metal. Their legs were reminiscent of a spiders and one even possessed a crude imitation of a crab's claws. The parts they were built from looked as if they had been chosen at random and thrown together with only a basic idea of the finished product in mind. They crawled toward Jakob now with a grinding of busted gears and soon to die clockwork. One stopped before it ever reached its target, two fell under a hail of automatic fire from Haley, and the last was put down with another shot from Jakob's revolver.

Jakob crouched beside Slightly and shook his friend softly. He flinched hard and turned a pair of glazed eyes on Jakob's face. He was breathing hard and a far too happy smile split his face in a fearsome grin. His eyes cleared slowly and his breathing calmed as he seemed to realize in whose company he was.

"Oh," he gasped, "Oh Jakob. When did you get here?" Slightly's arms relaxed and an ancient, 10 gauge breech loader clunked against the steel dumpster.

"Slightly," asked Jakob, his voice low and soothing, "What happened? Are you okay? How's Vikki?"

"The front of the building got hit. Slagged the whole thing. Then...then these things walked in. They got one with a spray paint can to write on the wall. When I saw what they wrote, I knew they were after me. I jumped the counter and grabbed Mr. Baruch's gun. I shot one, Jakob, and it screamed so loud. It screamed so loud...." At this point Slightly began to sob. Vikki wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed the tears off his face, sobbing just as hard. Jakob watched them, squeezing Haley's hand as each new set of sobs racked Slightly's body.

“Is anyone hurt, Slightly?” pressed Jakob, the concern permeating his voice.

“Most everyone got away. Some got carried off,” moaned Slightly.

“Carried off where?”

“That way.” Slightly’s finger shook, facing east. It pointed to the dump. It was Jakob’s turn to moan.

“Look Slightly, I have to go after these things. I want you to get Vikki home and then I want you to stay with her. You’re on good terms with her parents. They shouldn’t mind.” Slightly looked up at his friend, wiped the snot off his nose and stood up.

“I’m coming with you.” He said.

“No, you can’t-“

“I’m coming! You can’t stop me!” screamed Slightly. Vikki stood next to him and latched onto his arm.

“Me too.” she whispered. Jakob’s face, even without blood, flushed bright red. He drew his gun from its holster and pointed the muzzle of the revolver at Vikki’s forehead.

“There is one bullet left in this gun, Slightly. You’re going home. Now.” Jakob growled. His face twisted with a menace he didn’t know he had.

“Whoa, Jakob, you can’t be serious.” said Slightly, his voice shaking. “Put the gun down, Jakob.”

“Slightly, I am not someone you don’t take seriously. I have killed hundreds of people with this gun. What makes you think your precious little girl is any different? Agree to take her home and stay with her or bury her here and then go home. Either way, you’re going home.” Slightly moved fast. He brought the butt of the shotgun up into Jakob’s jaw in a fraction of a second with enough force to lift Jakob off his feet. Jakob hit the dirt on his back and struggled to his feet. Slighty was a big kid. Bigger than most. And the blow subdued Jakob long enough for Slightly to load a shell into one of the chambers of the breechloader. When Jakob regained his feet, the barrel of the old cannon was in his face. After a second’s hesitation, Slightly lowered the weapon to point at Jakob’s stomach. He searched Jakob’s eyes, confused.

“What is wrong with you!?” cried Slightly. “I thought we were friends!”

“Screw friendship. I don’t need friends. I need soldiers.” Said Jakob. He pointed the gun at Vikki once more and pulled the trigger at the same time Slightly did. Jakob’s revolver gave a hollow click and the shotgun roared. The kick from the ten-gauge pushed Slightly back half a step. When he opened his eyes, Jakob was missing the center of his body. The concentrated pellets had blown a jagged hole entirely through him. Vikki looked down at herself. No wounds. Jakob had pulled the trigger on an empty chamber. Jakob’s body fell to the ground with a dull thud. Chunks of his body that had been dislodged by the blast suddenly exploded in flame and burned into dust. There was no blood anywhere.

“Oh God that hurt!” screamed Jakob. He rolled in the dirt, clutching at the quickly healing hole in his midriff. Moaning and cursing himself.

“Honestly didn’t think you would do that,” he gasped, “Thought you would chicken out and I’d have a reason to leave you behind.” Jakob pulled a tiny hard silver case out of his pocket and popped it open with a fingernail. Inside were several small white pills. He dropped one down his throat and swallowed furiously. Jakob’s normal healing process had already built him a small, pale stomach that was almost transparent. It hung in plain sight, in the center of his wound. Haley watched the pill enter his stomach and, for lack of a better word, danced. It bounced around like a Mexican jumping bean and shrank until it was gone. The healing speed suddenly boosted and it wasn’t long before Jakob was whole once more, minus the front and back of his shirt.

“You owe me about a hundred thousand dollars, Slightly,” he grumbled, “Those pills are not cheap.”

Vikki fainted.







“So…you’re dead?”

“Yes, Slightly.”

“You’ve been dead for…”

“Twenty years.”

“We’re going to the garbage dumps to save the people who got taken and…”

“The world too.”

“From…”

“Apparently some kind of necromancer.”

“He can make dead things alive?”

“He can give life to things that aren’t alive, yes.”

“You sure you’re dead?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t smell dead.”

“Thanks, Slightly.”

“What are the odds of survival for those of us still living?”

“Stick with me. You’ll be fine.”

“I should have left Vikki.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Can I use the shotgun?”

“No.”

“You let Haley use those machine guns! How am I supposed to protect myself without a weapon?”

“I’ll take care of it. Stop pouting, Slightly.”

“Am not. Where’d you get the police car?”

“I stole it.”

“Are we gonna get in trouble for that?”

“If we save the world, it won’t matter. If we don’t, it won't matter.”

“Right. God, saying ‘Save the world’ out loud makes me feel like we’re in some kind of badly written story.”

“Tell me about it.”