Destructive

Have you ever wanted to do something
So out of character
So stupid
So destructive

That it could completely shatter everything you worked so hard for
And everything you've struggled to be

Something you know you shouldn't do
Wouldn't do…

Except it doesn't seems there's anything left
Nothing that will make it feel better

But to do everything that feels wrong
Because nothing feels right anymore

And the repercussions of those actions
Can't be any worse than what you're feeling now

If anything
Maybe it's the best way to feel anything else

Somehow

Shame
Disgust
Scorn
Uncertainty
Disgrace
Regret

Seem like a vacation compared to this gut wrenching sorrow