Guarantees

My guarantee to you:

         I cannot promise you the future. I can’t promise to be your everything, to carry you through bad times. Only you can do that. I can’t be your only friend, your sole confidant. I cannot be perfect, I can’t promise I’ll always be sane. I know my emotions will change and grow and become whatever they are meant to be. I can’t promise forever. I can’t promise I won’t hurt you, I can’t promise you won’t hurt me, because god knows you certainly have the power to. You won’t be everything to me, I won’t live for you. That’s way too much pressure for both of us. I can’t promise I will always understand what you’re saying or feeling or thinking. I can’t move the heavens to suit our needs, no matter how much I may want to. I can’t promise that I’m always going to do the right thing, always be strong, and I can’t promise that I can protect you.

         I do promise you now. The present. How I feel this moment. And I promise that I will always let you know how I feel. I can promise to be your support, for you to use when you feel you’re not strong enough to do it by yourself. And there will be times for that. And I promise that I will not think differently of you for needing to rely on someone for help. I promise to help you help you get through your tough times. I promise to be a best friend, to get to know you on a level that few if any know you on. I promise to accept you for you, your mistakes, your emotions, your faults. I also promise to accept you for your beauty, your love of life, your passion, and your heart. I can promise that I will try my hardest for you to understand where I’m coming from, so that when I’m not being completely sane, you’ll know why. I promise to let you know when my emotions change, for the better or for the worse. I promise that I will be true to my emotions as best I can. Even though I can’t promise forever, that doesn’t mean I don’t care now. I can promise that if I hurt you, it will not be intentional, out of spite, or to make you suffer. I can promise to keep an open heart if you hurt me, and to feel the hurt, and try to understand your motivations behind it. You can’t be my everything, but you can be something huge, something different, something important. I live for myself and only myself, but I care, and will show that to you in as many different ways as possible. I promise not to put on you the pressure of living for me, for being my only sense of life, of support, of happiness. I can guarantee that I will always try to understand everything you are, even if it doesn’t work. I can’t work the heavens, but I can influence the world here, and if it suits us, I more than likely will. I promise that I won’t try to change you, because you are you, but if you feel the need to change, then that’s your decision, and I will support you. I guarantee to follow my heart, be as strong as I can be at the time, and to wish to protect you from all that harms or hurts. I promise to protect you from what I can, and to let you protect yourself from what I can’t.

         I’m going to love you. And that’s not a promise or a guarantee. It just is. I want to make love to you, to make you feel better than you’ve ever felt before. I want you to make love to me. And I want you to love me, like the kind of love people say are out there. I’m not sure I ever believed anyone that told me it existed, but I’m going to see if you change my mind. I have a feeling you have the power to. I want to love you deeply and fully. I want to love you like you’ve never been loved before, to make your heart open and enter. I just hope I have the key. I want to love you with no pretenses, no facades, all the strings attached.

         It’s what I wish for sometimes, late at night, when no one knows I’m wishing. It’s my secret no one knows. I want to love someone so right, so deeply it makes me cry and for them to love me just as deeply. I yearn for it, I just never thought it was a wish that could be granted.

I dare you to prove me wrong.