Why do I write?

After reviewing Mai's essay about the reasons she feels she writes, I become inspired too take a look at my own personal reasons, convictions, as to why I write as I do.

I would like to start off in saying that I am 44 years young, and, although I have always love to write, I never truly took myself seriously so to speake. I never persued a career in it, not seriously doing so up until about a year ago.

One night, not long after getting out of the hospital from a major surgery, I was up late, I had trouble falling asleep this paticular night. After tossing and turning for hours, I finally convinced myself to get out of bed and go to the living area and try to watch a little tv. I remember there was nothing worth watching, so I pulled out my laptop, though I didin't have the internet at that time, I decided to just open up my word program and write some of my distant family letters. After doing this, I still was wide awake, and before long, I began to write a novel - a love story. I can't tell you exactly what provoked me at that moment or time in my life, but I will tell you that I have always been a romantic, and have been passionate in almost every aspect of my life. Rather it was something I loved doing, a hobby, my work, my children, even my core beliefs and morals; I was extremely passionate no matter what aspect or area of my life.
Nonetheless, I started writing this night, and I wrote for almost 12 hours straight, I finished more than 6 chapters that night, and with every day life, and the normal responsibilities - those initial chapters sat in the laptop for several years before I ever picked it back up. At that time, I just felt it was a simple bit of writing I had done just to pass the time from being bored, and from not being able to fall asleep this night.
Most of my writing up until this point, was just writing letters to family and friends.

When I was just a kid, I can remember, day dreaming, and fantasizing in my mind about being in other places around the world, and living a life of excitement and travel - meeting new people and going to places and other countries, and having a life that seemed as though it was entirely unitainable, simply, nothing but a dream. But, boy, was I creative with my imagination and my escaping to these places that I had created in my mind. Though I didn't think about it then, nor did I realize it for years later, however, I came from a very disfunctional famly, and abusive, so this was a true escape for me for me when I would allow myself to emotional slip away in my dreams.

My finding my gift of the talent of writing, didn't come along until I found Christ, and learning to love myself again, first of all, secondly, was learning to forgive others, and let go of all the pain and resentment that I kept locked away, or covering up. Finally, within this last year, after knowing Jesus, I have realized my talent, my purpose for my life, and know exactly what I am to do with it.
Since this amazing beyond words, revelations, I have completed my first novel, I have over 14 more outlined, and about another 4 or 5 outlines for self-help books through a spiritual journey.

I truly can not convey to you in this letter, or maybe never be able to write it down in words ever, but since I accpeted Christ, I have not only been beyond blessed, however, I am constantly getting ideas for my books/novels. Somedays it is like a movie that I see the begining clear through to the end in a matter of minutes. Some days I will recieve ideas through something I see on tv, a commercial, walking through wal-mart and hearing a child speake, see a sign along the road, hearing something in a song, capturing a visual from one simple sentece from a movie or something or comment that someone has brought up - and will just strike me immediately.

What I woul also like to add, that writing is not a job or career for me, although, I am finally able to write full-time for the first time in my life now - Glory be to God - it is so much more than that.
I was given a gft a long time ago, not even knowing or ever seeing, however, whe it finially hit me fully, I knew without one single doubt, that writing was my true calling and what I was meant to do with my life, it was purpose.

And now I can't ever see myself doing anyting else. Righting is my life, and I have also learned that a writers life is never eay, it can be a very lonely life at times. Especially whe I am working on one of my novels - I live inside my head and mind and find myself living most of my life, alone at my laptop, writing utterely from the very core of my being.

There is so much more to this story to tell - but for now - this will have to do. I have learned to take one day at a time, I have also learned pateince, which was so hard for me to begin with. However, I have been a work in His making for some time now, God had to strip away my layers, and conform me to this person that I am today to finally
Writing is the "love of my life", and yes I am truly dedicated, and conent, even on those days, where I "live" in my own mind most of the time.

Well, I will writem more when I can and hopfelly be able to explain a little beeter.
Take care to all and may god bless you and yours,
Best Regards, Lisa Maire

P.S.
To be continued.....