soulmate

i never had a true love, never had my first kiss or formal  introduction as a girlfriend.  i long for that moment, the day where i look into the eyes of my soul mate.  the one i hope to spend my life with, to have kids with; and enjoy what life has to ofter us.  i look at other people who seemed to have found the right  person, their lover, their soulmate..  they kiss in public, hug and bond walking hand in hand.  a light shines on them even when it rains,  and i swear  there are dark clouds surrounding me.  they're soul mates. forever as one.



i can't find my soul mate anywhere.  i've looked everywhere possible, and yet no sight of him.  my heart is heavy, weighing me down to the ground.  each day that goes by  without my soul mate, my heart breaks piece by piece.  i'm afraid that when my soul mate does arrive that my heart will  no longer be there, just a dark hole; deep and lifeless.  i bury myself into others around me, giving all my time; maybe my life to being the help.  cleaning  and taking care of the sick barely taking time to breathe.  no, i don't ,mind but there comes a time when i want to.....aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh breathe. take time  for me, meet new people; meet my soulmate.  have that moment i'll looking for, have been  searching for snice the age of 16.  the age when i was allowed to date but yet i watched my friends have first dates and soulmates. 



i carry my heart on my shoulder as a hand bag, now not caring about my furture , my soulmate.  my true love, the father of my kids.  or maybe he's out there waiting for me, to arrive.  maybe he's wondering too where's  his soulmate?  his lover of the years to come, until the years when old falls upon us and our time is near.  and we fall into each others arms.... lifeless. my mom said there be days like this. days when  my hopes and dreams wash away and i won't  want to save them.  but she also said never let go and i believe that i have.  maybe, just a little bit given up.  but only time will tell. tell of my true love, my soulmate from above.  when i will be able to  aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh breathe.