Cupid, A visit Home

Cullen sat at the diner; his lunch hour was almost up. He would go back to his job of ten years in just a few minutes. His wife, Rose was heavy on his mind. A voice buried deep in his mind, kept buzzing away. His thoughts on who he really was. Why couldn’t he just be “Cullen”? He knew the answer, even if he did not want to face it. Roses wishes had changed since they first married. When she was young, she wished for him. Now she wanted a child. Mack, his friend had wished for a friend all those years ago. Both of them had their wishes granted. He had become “Cullen” a young man new to the area. Both Mack and Rose had befriended him easily, and he quickly became a huge part in both of their lives.

He picked the ticket up off the table. He knew the amount was less than ten dollars, even as he placed a twenty on top of the ticket and slowly got up from his booth. As he made his way outside, he glanced back as the waitress picked up the twenty. He could see the gleam in her eyes. He knew she was down on her luck and the extra ten would be his way of helping her.

He quickly unlocked the door of his car. Nothing fancy, just the run of the mill middle class type of car. His mind went back to his current problems. Mack, his friend was lonely; the singles scene was starting to wear on him. Rose wanted a child, she knew that he couldn’t give her one. She of course thought he was sterile. The thought of being sterile, brought a grimace to his face, he hated that she could not know, the truth. He knew she would not care what he was, even if he was an Ogre, she would still love him.

Mack had told him how lucky he was to have Rose. He even talked about when they were all three younger the little bouts of jealousy that he would have over Rose choosing him. Back then, he had not given Mack’s feelings a second thought. How could he have ever missed the fact that Mack and Rose would have answered each other’s wishes?

In his musings, he almost hit the back-end of a minivan stopped at a Red light. He slammed on his breaks just in time. “Ok, Cullen, enough of this!” he spoke aloud as he gripped the wheel of the car. Looking up he could see the dirty look of the person in the minivan, he could also see that look cloud and start to change into one of wander as she continued to gaze in her rear view mirror.

He watched as the light turned green and she continued to sit gazing back at him. He honked his horn and she jumped. Gunned the accelerator and took off. Finally, after what seemed a lifetime he arrived back at work.

Sitting down at his desk, he knew the answer. The more he considered his options the more he knew that the only way that both of his friend’s new wishes could ever be completely satisfied is if he were gone. The only way that his “going” would be acceptable without guilt was, if he were to “die”.

No, he would not really “die” only his “Cullen persona”. He painfully weighed all the options. He cared deeply for Rose, and at one time, he had been her every wish. Now, though, since she had him, she wanted more, the complete package, to be a mom.

The rest of his day went by at a crawl. He knew he'd have to be clever to make believers out of Mack and Rose.
his death had to be as real as possible and he couldn't just disappear, though the idea appealed to him. This time he'd have to pull off a real death, corpse and all. This time he was too deeply involved. Maybe he had been too long away from home. The emotions were all starting to wear him down.

Unbidden thoughts of who he really was came to mind. Cupid, god He hated his name. He had so many, other, better, names. Why had his parents chosen that name? Over the course of time, he had lived with other names and rarely did he even think of his given name. The modern human world didn’t even remember him from his given name, except one time of year. The child he had once been centuries before that was how they knew him. Most of the time when he was in the human world he was not famous, he even took pains to blend in, giving himself a name that did not even draw attention. He had been Thaddeus, Tad, William, Paul, Benjamin, David, so many names he had lost track. Now he was Cullen.

Now as he thought about himself in such an abstract way. He remembered the exact magic that it would take to pull off “his death”. He would not make it a long drawn out affair. The drama that Rose and Mack would go though if he did that would unbearable.

He called Rose as he got into his car. “Hi, sweetheart.” A pause, “That is wonderful!” Then after a few more minutes he finally said “yes, I can pick up some butter on the way home, after I stop and get a book.” His musical laughter filled the air after listening for a short time, “no, I will not! I promise one little book. I even have the title.” After another short pause, “I love you too. See you in about forty-five minutes.” He clicked the phone closed and put it on the charger and started the car.

He would have to get the book and butter quickly so he could start his spell. The spell he would be working would be more complicated that most of the, oh so quick twists, he normally conjured up. He would have to create a golem that was exactly as “Cullen” looked, that was completely human and completely dead. He knew the time involved. This would take him at least a month to get the entire setup ready. Now he needed to work on Mack and Rose, though it would have to be all on the level, because they were neither one the kind of people that could live with the deceit of an affair.

After coming out of the bookstore, he called Rose back, asking if she minded if Mack came by for supper with them. After a short pause, when he knew she was thinking their little romantic supper would be spoiled she let him know it would be fine. He called Mack, inviting him over to watch the game with him tonight. He knew that Mack could not resist, not with Rose cooking and a game on.

He picked up the butter from the corner grocery, as he pulled his mind went to the beginning of the spell. Everything would start this tonight, with the urgent phone call from work. As he pulled into his driveway, he made sure to park the car where he could get out when Mack got there. Then before opening, his door to get out he sent the spell that would cause his “Urgent emergency at work.” It would not be anything that hurt just; the internal email and that would take him two seconds to fix. Luckily, Rose would never know exactly, what it was. Then he would be able to start creating his golem, and planning the death sequence. Timing would be everything.

Cullen walked in the house. “Rose it smells wonderful. Roast Chicken?”

Rose walked out of the kitchen with a bright smile on her face. “Of course, though I was not really planning on three.”

“Oh, you know there’s a game on tonight, and I am worried about Mack.”

“Why are you worried about Mack? I thought him and that leggy blond were an item now.”

“Did you get a good look at her?”

Roses face turned a pale shade of red as she shook her head.

“I didn’t think so, no that was definitely a short term thing. In fact, when I talked with him earlier he let me know that she was gone.”

Rose, looked over at him and shook her head. “OK, I give! Mack didn’t really deserve that. I do understand. He’s my friend too, you know.”

He smiled, he knew that this would be easy at least the part of them leaning on each other when he was gone. He would miss these two. Mack arrived just as they were setting the table. Cupid answered the door showing him in just as Rose was bringing the chicken in to the table. Cullen smartly maneuvered Rose to the seat at the end and he and Mack were across from one another on either side of her. The conversation stayed light as they eat. When the meal was almost through Cullen’s cell phone rang. He excused himself from the table, knowing it would be work.

He clicked the phone closed now it would begin he thought as he reentered the dining room. That was work, something is wrong with email and need me right away. Mack made as if to stand, both Rose and Cullen put a hand on either side making him stay seated.

“There is no reason for you to run off, I don’t expect I will be gone during the whole game and my TiVo is busted, so I can’t even see the part of the game I miss. I will need to watch and tell me all about it once I get back, during the commercials of course.”

Roses face held a comic look of understanding. She knew that Cullen was pushing Mack to stay and take it easy with them, and that Mack thought he would be invading if he stayed while Cullen was gone. Thinking quickly she turned to Mack, “yes, it would be nice if you stayed. Cullen shouldn’t be gone long, right dear?” She smiled at Cullen.

“Exactly” Cullen agreed pulling on his jacket, “See you in a bit,” he said as he walked out the door. As he climbed in the car his mind started working on the spell, the time and place everything had to be exact. This time nothing would be left to chance.

His heart ached, knowing that he would be the cause of their sorrow, but he knew of no other way to grant the wishes of the two humans that had touched him more than many of his own kind ever had. He arrived at work and quickly fixed the “emergency” then he began his planning in earnest. He would die at lunchtime. He hated the deception it would involve. Quickly he started the final spell that would create the golem as he fell. When it appeared, he would disappear.

He decided telling them about “a wonderful announcement” would bring them both to the restaurant. He decided that he would tell them about his upcoming promotion. A celebration lunch, that way he could get Mack go along. He had called ahead, having the café setup the table where all three of them met frequently. He had told them it was a small celebration where he wished for a little privacy. It always amazed him how easily he could influence some people.

The day had arrived. He had scheduled a long lunch from work that day. He kissed Rose good-bye before he left for work. This would be the last time he held her, and knowing that made him linger in the kiss.
“Wow, if that is any indication of the announcement later, I will be breathless until lunch,” Rose said as she stepped back inside the door. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

He turned to leave then turned one last time. “Bye, I love you.” In his own way he did love her, though it felt more like a betrayal than love to him. He hurried to the car. He drove to work as if in a dream. He never felt hurt like this when he left before. He would definitely have to spend some time in recovery before he went home.

When he arrived at work, he spent time going through all his things. He hated to leave; even the job he held now was not work. He tied up as many of the things as he could knowing that they would be hard pressed to finish most of it while they looked for someone to fill his position. He shut down as he got up to go to lunch.

On his way out, he said his own good-bye’s to his co-workers, by chatting with them for a few minutes before he left. He knew they would remember those little chats.

He arrived early, even though he knew it was a mistake. He sat in his car going over the entire scene. He watched hidden as Rose pulled into the lot. She did not notice his car. Then he saw Mack arrive. It was time. He walked into the café and as he walked to the table quietly spoke the finale words to the spell.

When he was no more than three steps from the table he grabbed his heart, the pain he felt was real, though it was exactly what they would find upon examining the golem’s body, his body. As he started to fall, he disappeared as the golem hit the floor. Rose and Mack were next to him in a heartbeat. He moved invisibly back along the wall, watching with a sense of loss as they tried to revive the dead thing on the floor. As Rose wept and Mack took her in his arms, he could bear no more and he swiftly left following the steps of one of the managers as they left the area.

As he left the café he could still feel the pain in his heart. Though it was not the pains of a heart attack, only the mark that deep sorrow leaves when it touches. He turned and walked invisibly away. He turned the corner and leaned against the edge of a building out of view. His new persona appeared. He was still Cullen at heart, though no one would ever think that he was. This new person was new in town. He was staying at a motel, though none had seen him come or go to this point. Reaching in his pocket, he retrieved the identification.
He had arbitrarily chose a name it seemed he was David Smith. He would not stay David long enough to form any ties.

He just needed some time to come to grips with being “Cupid” again. He wondered for a while in the direction he was facing, not knowing where he was going and not caring. His mind was with Mack and Rose. Somehow cutting the ties had freed his mind. The more he thought of them the more he seemed to drift. Finally, he checked his coat pocket and found the cell phone he had arranged in the spell. He called a taxi as looked around to find out where he was.

When the taxi arrived, he had it take him to the motel he was staying in. He walked through the doors, checked in, and asked if he had any messages. Then he went quietly up to his room. He sat down and flipped on the TV. It formed a background noise. He thought about Rose, Mack, and the future they would have.

He stretched out on the bed and fell into a trance like sleep. He could see it all, he watched as Rose leaned on Mack in her black dress, Mack in his suit, both somber and grieving. He knew the grieving would not last. Six years, that’s how long it would take before they married, only then would their lives get back to any form of normal. He knew that they would find the note he left in the bible for them just before their last child was born. The one that told them, that if anything ever happened to him he hoped that they would both eventually find happiness. He knew they would name that child Cullen, after him and that he would bring them great joy.

Even as he woke, he knew that the pain that had felt so sharp just hours before was fading. He was truly becoming himself again. The memories were still sharp but they held less of an edge for him. Before this time he had no trouble at all living in the human world, things that seemed so hard to people never were to him. This was the first time he had ever had such parting pain.

He spent a month at the motel, adjusting and letting his thoughts drift towards home. He needed to go back, and he knew it was time; he was really on prolonging the inevitable. He thought about the one time romance he had as himself with Maka. Maka was another of his kind. Well, sort of, she was hard to categorize. She was definitely fae. Thinking about her brought the first real smile that this face had known. His pain had faded and he was ready to go.

He decided to leave the motel and the “David Smith” behind. He really didn’t need a persona right now. He knew he would be leaving soon. His thoughts drifted back to Maka. The little “romance” they had was over before it started. They decided that they were better friends, and so they remained. With his attachments gone his way of thinking grew distant form humanity. It was defiantly time to return. Two months had passed as he returned to the graveyard where “Cullen was buried”.

His features had become closer to his normal look. His frame was well muscled though he had a lean look. His face was more angular than it was as a human. His eyes were bright and clear. He knew it was time. His cloak of humanity was always thin when it was close to time to return. However he had not dropped his cloak completely in the human world since he was, “actually that cute baby in diapers.”

It was dusk and now was the time that the human world would not notice if he stepped through the curtain in reality to his home. A graveyard was one place that most humans avoided at this time of day. He had been cautious waiting until all the caretakers were gone from the graveyard before he approached and then waiting for the last mourners to leave before he even thought of passing through. Then to make certain no one would see him open the curtain between the worlds he found a hidden spot just past a large crypt.

As the last of the sun’s rays touched the earth Cupid, bent down pressing his palm down against the ground then turning it over palm up, and said the ancient name of his home. He lifted his hand in an arch, as he stood and turned to the side he slipped from the human world to that of his own.

He arrived at the crossing. He stood looking into what appeared to be ancient landscape. There was a castle in the distance and older cottages arrayed in a village just to left about a half a mile away. To the right was a dense forest.

He decided being dressed as a human from the future was probably not a good way to stand pondering the way things were. He pictured the clothing style needed right down to the stupid tights or leggings that they wore, his body glimmered and his clothing changed to the right type for home. Though he would have preferred to keep his jeans and t-shirt, he would rather not draw a crowd. Luckily, he could still get away with his boots they were a rather new style but here, they would fit in nicely.

He let his facial features and ears remain he never hid them anymore, not more than his hair hid them at any rate. The human world had so many “freaks” that his slightly pointed ears and angular face didn’t even seem to surprise hardly anyone anymore. Only young children seemed to know what he was and on occasion he overly infatuated women. He smiled as he thought of the glares he had received whenever he would go out.

Of course, he could have fixed the situation, but why would he do that when he was having so much fun. His eyes twinkled as thought of the reactions. He loved being who he was. All he really hated was his name.
Now he was home, the sun was only coming up here. He took the long way to the castle; he was not quite ready to announce himself just yet. He went into the forest. He needed to be alone, too get ready for being home and all the greetings and things he would have to endure before he could be alone.