My Love!!!

I had heard the news.

The pain struck first in the heart.

Then to my eyes.

Before I knew it my pillow was soaking wet.

With what?

I looked up, and walked in front of a mirror

I had been crying.

It has been a long time since I cried.

Even, for a boy.

But, somehow this was different.

This hurt worse.

How could I have been so stupid?

Why had I taken so long to ask him out?

I was scared.

That’s why.

I had been scared and now he’s gone

With my arch nemesis…

Jealous?

No.

Hate?

Yes.

Hatred grew up inside of me.

Smoldering away the little bit of nice I had left.

My last nerve strung so thin it nearly busted with anger.

My love, gone.

For now.

With some girl who looks like a guy from behind.

Did I get anything out of this?

Not yet.

No lesson has been learned.

So why does it hurt so much?

Had I really LOVED him?

Could he have been the one?

I guess I’ll never know.

Not since I am leaving this summer.

For good.

Never coming back.

Ever.

Why would I?

I had nothing to come back to.

Not him.

My friends always seemed like they hated me.

So why come back?

To see if he’s available?

To be some rebound girl.

All I had ever wanted was to be with him and now…

Now… he’s gone.

Like a dream you had woken up from.

Something you could only remember if you searched real hard.

I hated myself.

For letting him go.

For letting HER get him.