For Eve -part 1

The morning sun came streaming into my window waking me up. I lay for a second and thought about taking a day off but I told my self I had to get up. I stretched my arms and walked over to my wardrobe and got out my white suite. I got dressed and then I started to gather up my documents and bag as I did this my husband Darryl slept soundly. I hated him for that all tucked up in bed while I prepared for work. I heard the post being delivered as I walked out of my room and down our spiral staircase. I went straight to the door and gathered up my mail and newspaper. I walked into the kitchen and laid them down on the bunker as I made my coffee in my machine that cost me a fortune and that irritates me as I only use it every once in a while. I made myself muffs’ns in a machine that cost me a fortune as well but I didn’t mind this one as I used it a lot. I sat down with my machine made breakfast and opened my first letter. It was my flight tickets and details for my holiday to Corfu. . . . . . . . . . . Yes I had been waiting for that for a while. I flicked through a bill and left Darryl’s letters on the table I now opened the news paper and my eye was instantly caught. The headline read “Matt Gibson found after 9 year’s “. My eyes popped out of my head. Matt found I re-read the headline to make sure it was correct. I flicked to page 1 and read. “Matt Gibson was found last night in a run down flat in north London after he had been missing for 9 years. The police have been very secretive and are not saying much about Matt. But we do know he was in a bad state and was suffering from a stab wound that was infected. His health was in a bad state he has now been admitted to The London infirmary. The police did say that he was seen going into the flat with Jimmy Jones and the Neaburgh luckily recognised him and contacted the police. Jimmy Jones has been arrested for kidnap and attempted murder. Jimmy was also known widely before this for kidnap cases. We still don’t have any info on why Jimmy kidnapped Matt. His mother was absolutely thrilled at the news and reportedly cried hysterically with joy. We did not aspect anything less as Mira has not seen her soon since 1988 when he was 19, he’s now 28. We quoted Mira saying “I am overwhelmed with the news as I had given up all hope of finding my only child, but now all I want to do is hug my son”. We hope matt all the best and will report any further news we receive”. My hands were shaking and my stomach was doing flips. I was in total shock. I thought he was dead like everyone else. He was my boyfriend before he got kidnapped and I had a sense of betray lurking in my stomach I somehow thought I had cheated on him now as we never really ended. I loved him so much we were engaged after he had been kidnapped I put the ring in a box with a picture of me and him and put it in the river where we liked to go. I really thought he was dead. I had to find out more I had to see him. As I was just about to get my phone out my bag to tell my boss I wasn’t coming in today Darryl came down the stairs and gave me a fright. “Morning are you leaving soon?” he said lifting up his letters and opening them. “Yes I’m going now” I said lifting my bag and newspaper. “Leave it here Coleen” he said grabbing for the paper. “No Darryl its mine I said hurrying out the door”. I know I lied to him but I didn’t want him to know. When I was well out of my area I pulled over and phoned my boss and told him I was having family problems and I would have to take a few days off. He was fine about that so all was good so far. I then phoned the police station and told them that I was Matt Gibson’s fiancé before he had been taken and I wanted more information about him. They disregarded me as I acspected and said they would give me no information. I then asked if I could get Mrs Gibson’s number so I could contact her. They said that they could not give me her number without her permission .So I suggested they phone her to ask. The woman seemed ok with that and put me on hold. I was exited and scared at the same time. After a 10 minute hold the woman said she was willing to meet me if I wanted at her home. That was even better. I got the address and I was on my way. I sat outside the door sacred to go in. I was thinking about what to say. She probably wondered what I was doing here. I started to regret bothering her. Somehow I managed to get out my car and walk over to the door. As I knocked on the door my hart was thumping so loud I thought she would here it before she opened the door. I heard her walking to the door and unlocking it. Then it opened slowly. She was much older and looked very tired almost ill. “Hi, it’s me Coleen” I said looking at the old woman. “Coleen” she said her face lit up and her wrinkles lightened up a little bit. “Come in she said ushering me in to the living room. The house was nice. I sat down and was lost for words. “I didn’t think I would ever see you again after you left Brighton” she said. “I never thought I would see you I said”. “You look wonderful, your very pretty woman, you look a bit like Jennifer love Hewitt “she said smiling. “Really thanks, you look good yourself “I said returning the complement. I looked around the room and there was an occurred silence that took over the room making me uncomfortable. “Do you work in an office” she said looking at the suite. “Yes I said. I could no longer stand the silly conversation and had to say what I was really here for. “Mira I wanted to know if I could see Matt In the hospital” her face darkened and the wrinkles came back. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, I don’t want him getting upset or . . . . . . You know “she got up and motioned for me to follow I got up and walked with her she was taking me to the door. “Mira please I have to see him, I saw it in the paper and I needed to see him”. She looked at me with weary eyes and then nodded.”Ok, you can see him but remember he is not a pretty site” I gave her a hug thank you I said. She waved me away and in 5 mins I was on my way to the hospital. I could not believe that she was letting me see him. I parked the car and walked up to the ward 6. I went up to the ward nurse and said “I am here to see Matt Gibson I believe Mrs Gibson phoned to say I was Cumming” ah yes he is in the room at the very end around that corner. I walked up the long ward and round a bend and there was the door that matt was behind. I could not believe that after 9 years I was moments away from him. I was very nervous and wondered what to say. I walked to the door and opened it. He was all wired up to machines. But Mira was wrong he looked absolutely gorgeous, He looked a little bit like Josh Harriet and a bit of David beckham. He looked over to me and said. “Are you a doc because I have had the jag already by that Russian nurse”? My hands shook I was finally in the same room as him. “No I don’t work here I stuttered”. “Well who are you”? He said looking at me. “I am Coleen Green” I said. His eyes grew wide and filled up. “Coleen, oh my god . . . . . . .”. My eyes filled up to. I slowly walked over to him and sat on the bed looking into his blue eyes. He cuddled me and we both burst into tears. I missed you so so much we said through tears. I explained how I saw it in the papers and knew I had to see him. He looked at me and told me I was beautiful. I told him I was so nervous about seeing him after all these years. We sat up all night talking and catching up. I realised how funny he was but I also noticed how he made me feel like I was floating in a happy bubble and that I had constant butterflies in my stomach. I love you he said. I felt warm inside and very weepy when he said that. I love you to I said. And no I was not lying I did love him. I knew I did. Darryl had never made me feel like this nor had anyone else. We kissed and that was the deal done I knew I was well and truly in love with him. My phone rang and I had to leave the room. It was Darryl I rejected it. I could not stay at the hospital but I stayed till 11 0clock. I kissed Matt goodbye and promised to come back to see him tomorrow. I got home around 12 and as I walked into the dark hall and into the living room I took off my bag and coat and laid them on the couch. “Where have you been all night then” the voice made me jump and I flicked on the light. Darryl was sitting on the chair looking at me in an angry and tired way. I stood there and my mind froze what would I say? Would I tell him the truth? In the end I decided to tell him that I was at my sisters as she was upset. He looked at me for a long time then smiled. “How was work then”? I said it was ok. We crept up to bed and I got in my bed and curled up. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside and I almost cried that’s how happy I was I met Matt again. I woke that morning with a bright light on and the sweet smell of men’s aftershave. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. “Morning, don’t you need to get ready for work”? It was Darryl he was standing with a towel wrapped around him getting ready for work. “Yes, I will get up now, I glanced at the clock and it was 5.40. As I Walked through to the linen cupboard to get a towel I thought to myself what the hell was I meant to do until 10 for the visiting hours? I walked into the stem covered bathroom and switched on the shower I undressed and climbed in. The warm water was refreshing on my face and body as I washed I sang in the shower my fav love song “from this moment on”” by Shania Twain. Once I was done I wrapped the fluffy pink towel around by body and walked through to my bedroom. Darryl was sitting on the bed putting his socks on as I passed him to sit at my dressing room table. I dried my hair and curled it but straightened my fringe and then I put make up on. I was searching through the wardrobe while Darryl was putting on his tie. I picked wrap over top and a pair of fancy jeans with my new silver boots. I put my charm bracelet on. We walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen to make breakfast. I eat it in silence and he flicked through the paper. At 8 I got my coat and bag on and left for my so called work. He left to and we both got in our cars and drove off I drove the way I go for so long then I went to my friend’s house and had a Coffey with her and then I left and drove around waiting for the visiting hours. When the time finally came I walked in the hospital and up to his ward. I knocked on his door and walked in. Mira Opened the door and I walked in. He was sat up looking at the paper. “Hi I’m just catching up with the world”. Are you I said? We spoke and laughed all afternoon and then I glanced at my watch and it was time to go. I wanted to be back when I was meant to be or it would look suspicious. “I have to go now” I said standing up. Matt’s eyes faded and his smile was gone. “You have to go already” I smiled “Yes I have to go to . . . . . . . . . I stopped in mid conversation I saw Darryl’s best friend Mike going past the door. Oh no I thought he is in the same ward is me. I was feeling really nervous now. “Coleen”? Said Matt looking confused. Mira got up and touched my shoulder. I turned around. “Sorry I said I have to go. I rushed to the door and walked out in a creeping motion. I couldn’t see him. I hurried out of the ward and to my car as fast as I could. I went to Tesco on my way home to get the dinner in. I rushed around the store getting my shopping and raced home. I just got in and had started making the dinner when Darryl came in. “Hi, oh what’s for tea?” he said as he came in the kitchen. “Hi Tuna pasta bake” I said. He went through to the living room and brought a bag to me. “What is it”? I said. I opened the bag and there was a hart locket with a pink diamond in the middle. “It’s lovely Darryl . . . . . really nice thanks” I cuddled him. In this moment I felt guilty and a dirty liar. He and thought of me and bought me this lovely necklace and I pretend to be the perfect little wife when I’m a cheating scumbag. I felt sick and dirty. We broke from the cuddle. “I also have this, he took out a little pink box and said to me, we have been married for 5 years now and I know that I love you and that you are the one for me”. He opened the box and I saw a silver band with crusted diamond’s round it. “This is the eternity ring that binds us as a full whole now”. My hart gave a start and my eyes welled up I burst into sobs. Darryl took me into his arms and kissed my head he thought I was happy but I was sad. He bought me a d eternity ring! How could I do this to him? I put my head on his chest and took a deep breath. He put the rig on my finger and smiled. I dished up tea and we watched the silly evening TV. My mind floated to matt and I felt sad and happy. I felt as if my hart was torn in to. That night as I lay in my bed while Darryl watched this movie that was on. I thought about what I was doing until I was crying then I finally fell asleep. I woke in the morning and sat up yawning the bedroom door was open and I could here voices. I got out of my bed and walked down the stairs. Darryl was standing in the living room on the phone. He saw me and made a serious face. When he came off the phone he looked sad.”What’s wrong”? I said.”It was mike, Kelly is on her last legs I said we would come right in to see her” he said. “Kelly I didn’t know she was in hospital” I said. He told me that she had a tumour. I was upset because Kelly and I had been mates for ages. I was nervous about seeing her as I didn’t know what to do or say all I felt was sadness. It was only when we were in the car that I began to realise it was the same ward as Matt oh my god. We got out the car and up to the ward my hands was shaking and I was dredging going past the door. The head nurse came up to us and looked at me. “We are here to see Kelly Dan please” said Darryl. I was aware of her looking at me but I never made any eye contact. “Oh yes over there in room 4 sir” she said in her broad Irish accent. We walked past Matt’s door and I put my head right down hoping no one would notice me. We knocked on the door and Mike opened the door he looked tired and ill. We walked in. Kelly was all wired up to the machines looking so I’ll. We sat on the empty chairs and said how sorry we were she was I’ll. She mumbled it was ok and we had a little laugh about a holiday we once went on and some nights out we had. I looked at her and a tear came to my eye. She was holding Mikes hand and gasped in pain I ran to call the nurse and she came in and upped the morphine but we all knew she didn’t have long. She lay for a moment longer and then said she loved Mike and then she was gone. I cried and we left. When we got in the car Darryl said “I don’t know what I would do if that was you”. I sat in silence as we drove back home. It was lashing of rain when we eventually got home. I went for a bath when I went in. I was thinking about Kelly and how bad Mike must feel. When I got out the steamy bathroom I got on my fluffy dressing gown and went down stairs to make myself hot chocolate. I sat on the choch and watched Csi trying to take my mind of my problems. When I woke up the next day I realised it was Sunday and that we always went to my mum’s for Sunday dinner. We got ready and went to a café to get breakfast before we went to my mums. We both had full English breakfast. Then we set out to mum’s. My mum put on a big Sunday roast and we had a lovely pudding. After that we sat and had a natter with coffee and cream cakes. I felt peaceful that day. Me and my mum did the dishes while Darryl helped my dad clean out the attic for my mum. We stayed for a while longer then we waved goodbye and drove home on the way we stopped off at the garage and we went in to get some juice and I wanted a packet crisps. We were walking round the small store and I caught sight of Mira she came up to me and said. “Coleen we haven’t seen you in days matt and me have been wondering why you haven’t been at the hospital and we don’t have your number to contact you” she said looking angry. “Oh well it’s just that I have been very busy, my sister is having a bad time with her marriage I can give you my number now” I said handing her it on a piece of paper I was looking for Darryl but he was so engrossed in reading this article . . . I was safe I thought. “Thanks (she took the paper and put it in her bag) when do you think you will be able to come to the hospital” she said in a quizzing manner. “I don’t know . . . . . . . . Tomorrow I think” I said. She looked at me and could tell I was feeling uncomfortable. “Ok then I will tell matt that you will come”. “Ok but I have to go I said walking away to the counter to bye the stuff. As I did this I seen her leaving the store. I was a little shakeken up. I then knew what a dangerous game I was playing and how I had to be so careful about what I was doing. When we got back to our house I went into the bathroom and called my work to say that I needed the whole week off and they understood which was good. Darryl was standing outside the door when I opened it and I jumped.”How long have you been there for “I said. “Just now he said smiling” I nodded and went into my room to read my magazines. There was an article about a woman who cheated on her husband with her ex and when he found out he cut her leg off and shot her arm. I felt sick it reminded of me and I got a horrible feeling. The next day I got up and pretended to got to work but really went to the hospital. I went into the room and spent the day with matt. The doctor said he would be ready to go home in the next 3 days. Oh no this was just going to get more complicated. I looked at my watch I had to go now. I told Matt and said goodbye. I rushed home to make dinner and when Darryl came in we eat then we went to Kelly’s funeral which was very sad and nice at the same time. Later that night Mira phoned me to say that they were having a big welcome home party for Matt on Thursday and that I should come. I said yes but really I didn’t know why because I would now have to think up a lie to tell Darryl. After the call I went to bed to think of what to say to him the next day at the hospital the doctors said that he would defiantly be home on Thursday that meant tomorrow. I had a plan, I thought about saying that I had to work overtime. That
Day I had butterflies in my stomach and I felt sick. “I won’t be home till much later as I’m working overtime then going out with Abby from my department for a drink” I said while getting on my bag and coat. “Oh right well I am going out with Dan and Ken anyway” he said kissing me goodbye as he got into his car. I drove to Mira’s house. When I got there she was all bubbly and happy. His aunty and uncles, cousins, grand parents were all there to and were equally happy and bubbly. I helped put up banners and helped set up the buffet. Then his cousin and Mira went to get him. I was nervous to see him even though I had been seeing him for quite some time now. It was like meeting him all over. When he walked in he looked much taller than I ever remembered him. He came straight over and kissed me. It was nice to see him walking around. Everyone was cuddling him and giving him gifts. After we had something to eat Mira stood up and asked everyone to make there way to the dog pub for a drink. My body froze and my stomach did cartwheels around and round. The dog! That was Darryl and my local. I could not believe it. “Walk with me Coleen” said Matt. I got up and walked over to him he took my hand and we walked out the door. I was feeling so sick. People knew me in there. He kept holding my hand and kissing me which was nice but I felt uncomfortable as I was very nervous and scared. When we got to the pub door I almost fainted. I didn’t want to go in. We all walked in and I tried to stay amongst the crowed so that I wouldn’t be noticed. I managed to get sat down in the corner which was good. Mira went and got the drinks in and we all made a toast to Matt being well and found. He also made a toast to having his family back and finding me. Everyone clapped and got another round of drinks in. Matt disappeared for a minute and the door opened I happened to look over and saw Darryl, Dan and Ken walk in. My hart froze and I could not breathe for a while. Luckily he never looked around and they went straight to the bar. Matt came back and looked funny. “Are you ok darling” said Mira putting down her drink and touching his head. “Ye, fine” he said smiling and winking at me. The song “Against all odds “by Phil colleens came on and a massive spot light fell on me. My face went white and I was clueless as to what was happing. Matt got up and pulled me to my feet and kissed me then swept me to the floor and danced me about. Then he crabbed the mike and said this woman is the best woman in the world and I want her to know that I love her and that I never thought we would meet up again or romance really has been against all odds. When the spot light came off me and I could see again I could see Darryl looking right at me. His face was red and his hands were shaking (they always do when he is angry). I didn’t know what to do. He walked over and looked at me. “What the hell are you doing “he screamed. I looked around and the whole pub was looking at us. “Well how long has this little cosy thing been going on for?” He was shaking me. I tried to speak but my voice was gone. He stormed off and Dan and Ken followed looking confused. I looked round at matt and he was looking at me so were all his family. “What’s going on Coleen?” he said. I looked at the floor. “I think we better go out side and talk” I said in a small voice. Mira came over to us. “What the hell is going on?” she said looking between us. “We are going outside to talk mum” he said putting a hand on his shoulder and kind of shoving her away. “Matt?” she said. He never answered her and we walked outside. “Well what was that all about?” Matt said. “Matt he’s my husband, I’m sorry I really am” his face dropped and his eyes went a dull grey colour. “You’re husband” he was walking towards me. “Yes we’ve been married for 5 years, I saw you were found and had to make contact with you I never told you because I didn’t want to focus on me I am so sorry” I tried to take his hand but he pulled away. “You were strining me along, I told you I loved you I thought we had a future I was going to ask you to marry me Coleen” he put his head down. “No I wasn’t stringing you along honest” He put his head up and I could see the tear marks. “How were you not? You never told me you were married, there was never going to be a future for us” He walked away and I ran after him “Matt please understand, I’m sorry” I grabbed his arm and he span round and ripped my hand off. “Leave me alone Coleen, half my life has been wasted I am 28 I can’t waste any more of it on some little liar who is just in it for some affair”. “Matt”, “Coleen go home to your husband and forget me” he looked back as he walked away and said “I wasn’t lying when I said I loved you” a tear rolled down my face. What a mess I was in. I opened the front door and the house was in darkness but I knew Darryl was in as I heard him talking to Ken and Dan. I walked in the living room and all went silent. “The stray returns” said Darryl as he stood up. I could tell he was drinking before I saw the vodka bottle on the chair. Ken and Dan got up.”No boys don’t leave for her she might want you two as well “he said smiling. “We better go mate Ken said tapping him on the shoulder.”Yes said Dan nodding to me as they both passed. When the door shut there was total silence for a whole ten minuets. “So where dose he live, dose he have a big car eh?” I jumped form the sound of his voice. “No . . . . . . . . He is my ex, he just got out of hospital” I said in a small voice. “Oh going for the ex ah “he said. “Darryl I am sorry, he is Matt Gibson the one who was kidnapped for 9 years , I needed to see him and didn’t want you to know because I thought it would upset you, I never thought it would come this far” I said walking towards him. “You to looked very lovely dovey eh? Kissing saying he loves you” he said pushing me a little. “It was seeing him again I got caught up, I never meant to hurt anyone” I said. “Did you love him?” he said. “Y... yes” he pushed me against the wall. “Just saw him and you love him. . . . Why Coleen I loved you I gave you everything, cared for you I thought we were happy thought you loved me” his face was right in mine I could smell the vodka very strongly. “Sorry” I said looking at him. “Is sorry meant to make it all better , meant to make me forget what you did , am I meant to say oh lets just sweep your dirty affair under the carpet and move on?”. “Darryl get off me” I said trying to push his body off mine as my head was now digging into the picture frame. “Is that all you can say, it’s always about you isn’t it me me” he said He stood back a little and punched me in the face pain shot through my jaw and I flew to the floor he ran around the house and picked up a wedding photo of us and smashed It over my head. It shattered and face was cut and my hands as I tried to protect myself. I looked up to him and his face fell. “Coleen, I am so sorry” he said rushing over and picking me up. “Get off “I said with my voice shaking. “I know I had a little affair but that was too far” I took my rings off and handed him them. “Coleen” he said and tried to push them back on my finger. “No Darryl, its over I can’t stay with someone who hit me “. I walked up stairs and began to pack as it was his house. He came upstairs and stood at the door. “Sorry, I don’t know what came over me I never would have done that to you”. I looked at him and I could see he was sorry but I could not stay. “Darryl we could never get over this I said pointing to my face or the affair it’s my entire fault I know” I said it took me about 4 hours to get of the house I phoned my brother Kerin to come and get me. “I will get a lawyer as soon as I can I said this with tears in my eyes. He nodded and went back in the house. When I got in the car my brother said I should charge him for assault but I couldn’t do it after what I did to him. I crashed at my brothers while I went to work and looked for a flat. I contacted a lawyer who was setting the divorce up. One day after work had been hard and I was down with all that was happening in my life me and my friend Amy went out for a drink in the dog. We were sat with a glass of wine and she had just popped to the toilet. Matt walked In with a woman with long blonde hair and a body to die for. He looked up at me and then walked over. “What happened to your face he said touching it. “I fell I said “Coleen don’t lie”. “Darryl did it, he was really angry and lost it, and it was my fault. He shook his head. “Are you ok” He said stroking my face. “Yes I said I am fine”. The girl he was with was standing in the background looking at us. “Who is she your with I said pointing to her. “Stacy is my new girlfriend” he said. “Oh, she is nice” I said. “Yes she is lovely” he said looking at her. “Better go and see her then eh” I said looking at him and taking his hand off my face. He got up and walked away. “Coleen are you sure you’re ok”. “Yes I am fine” I said. I wasn’t sure if that was true or if I was just saying that. I felt sad and all alone. No husband and Matt had someone and I knew Darryl was seeing someone from my department which was a big blow. Everyone had a life but me. I looked back in my photo albums and cried I was no longer the happy and in love person I was in my wedding pictures. I finally got a flat around the corner from where I stayed with Darryl. I moved my furniture in and decorated it with my brother’s help. The divorce papers finally came through and I singed it and had to go around to Darryl’s get his paper. I knocked on the door and Hanna opened the door and said in a cocky voice “Can I help you?” “Can I see Darryl” I said. “Darryl” she shouted. He came to the door and looked at me. “Coleen” he said. “I just wanted to collect your divorce paper “I said. “Yes come in and I will get them”. I followed him in and I could see she had put her touch on the place already. He handed me them and I thanked him and went to walk out. He followed me to the door and said “Can we meet for coffee tomorrow at 10 at Black and white, I need to talk to you”. “Yes sure” I said. That night I wondered what it was about. The next morning I walked into black and white and ordered 2 coffees. A minuet later he came. “I am sorry I am late” he said sitting down as the wateriest brought over the two coffees. “What’s this all about” I said. “We were happy for years now weren’t we?” “Yes” I said. “But we have moved on” he said. “Yes Darryl what’s this about”? “I have asked Hanna to marry me, we have been engaged for some time now and I thought you should know, you’re invited to the wedding of course”. I was shocked. “Well I think . . . . . . That’s good for you, but I don’t think I will be coming to the wedding “. I smiled and took I sip of my coffee. He grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes. “Coleen I wanted to tell you before but I didn’t know how to tell you, I think you should come. “Darryl you don’t have to answer to me anymore, I don’t think me watching you proclaim your love to someone else is exactly appropriate do you”? He looked down and smiled. “The offer was there “he said. “Yes I know, (I got up and put my coat on and pushed my chair in) good luck Darryl.” I walked away and went back to my flat as soon as I opened the door I burst into tears I slid down the door and put my head between my legs. My hart ached I was all alone and scared I would be lonely forever. A couple of nights later I was out to the cinema with my friend and I saw Matt and the Stacey girl I had seen him with. They were coming out of the picture house. He saw me and came over. “Coleen hi, how are you”? “Hi, I am fine thanks” I said looking at his hand he had a taut saying something in Chinese. He looked at me and we just stood for a minute then I said. “So you’re still with Stacey then”. “His face fell em yes” he said looking at the floor. Stacey came over and tugged on his arm. “Who is this”? I looked at her she was pretty but very rude looking and stuck up. “This is Coleen she is . . . . . . I could see he was struggling so I said “An old mate” He looked grateful and nodded. She looked me up and down and looked at me in who are you look. I stared back and then I had had enough. “Have you got a problem with me Stacey? She looked away and went a bit red. “Excuse I was talking to you”. She looked back around and half looked at me. “Em no I don’t “. “Well why were you looking at me as if I were dirt on the ground”? I said. She went even redder and looked at her feet. Matt looked very uncomfortable and said “we better go, nice to see you enjoy your movie” he pulled her arm and they walked off. “God that was awful said Jenny (My mate). “Well she deserved it” I said. The film was good it was about a woman and her husband and how she died and he thought he could never love again and how he found love. It was really good I was crying practically the whole way through it. We went back to her house and had a bottle of wine. “Do you love Matt” she said poring me another glass and topping herself up. “Yes I do” I said looking into my glass. “What about Darryl” she said. “Him to but a little less” I said then I burst into tears and poured out how I loved them both but Matt more and how they were both happy and how I was alone. She consoled me and later I fell asleep. In the morning I felt ill and had a really sore head I took migrealefe and tried to go through the day without crying with the pain but in the end I gave in and burst into tears which seemed to make my head worse, I went to bed at 6 o’clock that night. In the morning I sat up and a pain so dreadful shot through my head I fell out of bed and was screaming in pain. I was sick and felt very dizzy. I pulled myself up and managed to get to the living room before I collapsed again. The pain was so dreadful. Once the pain and worn off a little bit I managed to take some tablets. But all day I was still in so much pain. I was out doing my shopping while I felt so dizzy. I was trying to get bread on the top shelf and I took the pain again I was bent over the trolley in pain. I felt a tap on my back it was Matt. “Coleen what’s wrong” He said in a scared voice. “Migraine “I managed to whisper. “Coleen migraines don’t cause that much pain” He helped me back to my house and said I should go to the doctors. I didn’t want to have to go all the way to the doctors for them to say oh just take paracetamolls the cure it all drug to them. He helped me put the shopping away and sat with me until I convinced him that I was better now even though that was a complete lie as I was totally still paralysed in this pain, that seemed to get worse with every little movement I made . I kept going as well as I could for the next couple of days but the pain never went away. I eventually thought that I could not take the pain any longer. I took the day off work and I went to the doctors. I explained about the sever pain and how it literally paralyses me. The doctor looked white and asked how long this pain had been going on for. I said almost a week and he told me he was getting me an ambulance to take me to the hospital. I was confused and scared what was happening to me? , Why did I need and ambulance to go to the hospital. The ambulance came and I ushered in to the back. I was sitting in the back thinking what the hell am doing here. When we got to the hospital the two paramedics took me to this bed where a doctor came straight over. He stood a moment and nodded while the paramedics whisper to him. Then he walked over to me. “Miss Coleen Green ““Hi”. He smiled and brought a chair over to the side of the bed I was sitting on. “Now you told your doctor that you had been getting very severe headaches”. “Headaches is an understatement I cant move when I get it and it’s like stabbing pains then sometimes it’s something exploding in my head, I have took paracetamolls, nurifen the lot and it dose not work” I said folding my arms. “What about now is the pain there?” “No it’s not thankfully” I said. He took a long time to answer like he had to think. “We are going to have to do a brain scan “he said looking at his watch. “ A what “fear started to well inside me. “We will be going into the room as soon as” he said getting up. “Is there anyone we can call?” I hesitated my brother Kerin here is his number I said giving him my diary he noted it down then left. I was scared why did I need a brain scan was it that serious? And why was nobody explaining anything to me? It seemed like forever before the Curtin drew back and Kerin came in.”Coleen why do you need a brain scan are you ok” he sat in the chair looking scared. “I don’t know anything they wont tell me, all I know is that I was at the doctors and I was telling them that the head pains I had been getting was so severe that sometimes I cant move, then the next thing I know I am lying in this bed being told I need a brain scan but not being told why”. He looked at me with a worried face, “Why the hell did you not tell me that you were getting these pains?” “Kerin you have your own life I don’t want to interrupted you “. “That’s silly Coleen you’re my sister I would have been there for you”. I smiled and took his hand. At that moment the doctor came in. “The room is ready and the nurse will get you ready to come through in a moment”. Before I could speak he was away and a small nurse came in with a fake smile on. “Ok Coleen lets get you ready”. I looked at Kerin and he touched my hand. “This jag will send you to sleep ok “she said. “I will see you when you come out said Kerin, I will call mum and dad to come”. He was the last face I saw before I drifted into a weary sleep. When I woke up I felt stiff and numb. I looked around the room in search for Kerin but I could not see a thing. The Curtin drew back and my mum, dad and Kerin came in all in tears. I sat up at once alert and confused. “Why is everyone crying?” My mum attempted to speak but just broke down again. “Coleen you have a brain tumour “said dad he broke down in sobs. I could not believe what I had just heard, my head began