My Disasster Date

One day when I was way down yonder in New Orleans
I saw this pretty woman in some very sexy jeans.
As pretty as any calendar girl I have ever seen
She seems like she's a wild one ,you know the kind I mean.

Her Retriever beside her, looks like she's full of puppy love.
but I couldn't help but notice that she wore a latex glove.
I felt it's now or never so I asked her for a date
We could be walking the dog together, wouldn't that be great!

As we walked I told her, I know everybody's somebody's fool
I asked, "Why the glove?" She said," So I can pick up Bruno's stool"
"I'm sorry are you saying you pick up your doggie's poo?"
"Yes, and if your do not have a glove it gets stuck on you."

She said she has some in her purse because you never know,
when Bruno will get that sudden urge and he'll have to go.
He does the loco-motion and gives his bod the twist,
then he lifts his rear leg up and I get truly pissed.

My Venus in blue jeans tells me that her name is Sherry.
I tell her she's the kind of gal I think that I could marry.
She cried,"You talk to much,what is going through your head.
We just met an hour ago. Now you want to wed?"

I grab Bruno's leash from my new favorite lass,
he begins to gallop and drags me on my ass.
I hope he decides to stop, and I mean real soon,
cause if he doesn't I'll be showing people a blue moon

Hey,girl, I am sorry, I know breaking up is hard to do.
But after what just happened I need to get far away from you.
My butt cheeks are deep purple and I'm in so much pain
I need some drugs so I'll be able to walk like a man again

Though this poem makes this sound recent, it was several years back.
I hurt my rear end so badly, it still has a big crack
The moral of the story, don't pick up girls in the park my friend,
because if you do, I promise, you will regret it in the end.