Untitled....

So many years of repression that has manifested itself in anxiety
My teachings have led me to resemble my desires, when its opposites that attract.
Being forced into an introverted state, so around certain personalities mine turns blank

Analysing my surroundings, and applying logic to confusion just so I can pick sense out of nonsense.
Quenching my thirst with food
Listening to my views with speech
Comforting my tears with insult
Giving me nothing and disguising it as something
Left me like a blind man whose only way forward is to see the signs
Showing me nothing but expecting me to know everything

This is why my spirit reacts by shutting out emotion,
Closing off all gaps that could allow feeling to leak in or out
I’ve spent most of my life around people who talk in circles, contradicting themselves in every sentence
But claim that it’s you who doesn’t make sense when backed into a corner
Causing me to doubt myself.

My experiences have taught me that the best way to beat it is to understand it
You don’t have to work harder but work smarter
I can move like my enemies because I have learned from them
I can think the same to give me an understanding of how they play the game
A piece of them is inside of me
So do not mistake how I am for how I can be