Inner Poise

I have lately been wondering if Bridget Jones had the right idea. Inner poise may be a great option, a terrific turn of events in my mind's way of working out it's problems. But what is the reality versus the romance of this great idea? I wonder if there is an absolute empowerment behind it. Would it be like a diet, where one day I eat a piece of forbidden anger and let everyone know? And the next day, try to do extra well and strive to the point of being a pushover? What is the balance, the fine line here?

If I am to allow myself the freedom of having no resentment over small issues, does that minimalize small petty arguments? If I can forget the fifty bucks you owe me, and say it will all even itself out; breathe to ten and really let it go. . . I can't imagine that being a bad thing. If I forget the one hundred dollars you owe me; I become someone to mark and take advantage of! If I were to find a way to not let myself be angered by my being replaced at work while still being on the payroll and letting my future plays itself out while I strive to my psychology degree; does that mean I am focusing on the bigger picture? Maybe I am just letting go of the past while just barely grasping the fine hairs of the future.

Am I to work a fifty hour week for less money than most of my friends, and not allow myself to mention it? To let it go when someone complains about their eight hour day, while I am working on my tenth, with five to go? And then when they ask me if I can come in early for them because they are tired; let it go? Not mention that maybe they should learn how to improve their work ethic, and I will work on becoming a better person. That maybe someday I wouldn't even say something like that?

If we are all honest, we are pissed off, jealous and angry about something. Do we need to let the world know? I really don't think we do. Should we just let it roll off and breathe it away and thank God we are not like the people in our lives that we shake our head at and leave us in wonder? I think we should be happy that we have those circumstances and people in our worlds that make us take a deeper look. I wonder if there is a happy medium. Enveloped by the romance of being one of those women whom are solid and confident with their meekness and understanding. The type of woman that can single handedly take on the world and still look at ease. To learn to let my disdain and misunderstanding of the stupidity some people grasp to come across as acceptance and at bet indifferance. I wish to learn the power of an inner strength and outter presentation of peace that comes with enabling myself with a secret weapon.

Inner poise as an almost cult idea may not be the best way to tackle this ideal. The trend of playing the part of being a boulder in a wind storm will soon be washed out by the genuine. Yet, there is only one way to become the genuine and that is to put into practice the ideas of being someone whom is able and willing to take on perhaps, more than their share, but whatever life brings. Because life will bring issues. People will take advantage of your stubborness, your work ethic and your money! But how are you going to react? Will you allow the things that define you to characterize you as someone marked with a positive attitude or a resentful demeanor?