Represent Yourself In Court

Polly Baker was accused by the court of having proliferated too many children out of wedlock. She begins her discourse before the court by explaining that she is poor and destitute and cannot secure funds to pay for legal counsel. Her address to the court is relevant today. Polly's cry is echoed by weekend fathers who are ordered into court once a year in order for their former wives to have their child support increased. Most people within their lifetimes never get to taste the flavor of the defeat or victory of a courtroom. These lucky people are under the misconception that the courtroom exhibits the glamour of a Perry Mason movie. These aficionado of daytime TV divorce court expect the excitement of two glib attorneys point and counter pointing issues with vehement oration. This is not the reality of domestic court. Family court is staid and devoid of sensationalism except for a few moments when the mother might display a ploy of hysteria. Otherwise, the facts are presented before the judge and he renders the final decision. Although the final court order does not always execute justice. Some judges' decisions are biased by their own orientation of marital harmony or disharmony. Some judges are misogmyists via the anguish of their own divorces. The sting of their own child support may motivate them to render decisions in favor of a male lawyer and defendant. Some judges may have had a good marriage for years. They have no insight into the psychological and financial difficulties of Kramer vs. Kramer. They follow the law according to the book without weighting or understanding the real needs or the impact of leaving dads impoverished which leave them unmotivated and with little capital to continue life within a reasonable fashion. No justice is served when an impoverished father feels the squeeze of poverty and leaves the state. If he reneges on his financial duty to his children, judges and the courts have precipitated a double injustice. Judges are human creatures who have their good and bad days. Their sense of justice can also be influenced by the sobs and the cries of a seemingly distraught mother whose theatrical antics deserve an oscar. Not all mothers feign their emotions. Some are stoic and accept the decision of the judge. But when one witnesses the cries associated with the "Phantom of the Opera", Dad better hold onto his wallet. This judge has just experienced a bad day and most likely the judgement will swing in favor of the mother.

Caveot Dad, when a woman judge appears on the bench; this is your cue to go for the best actor of the year award. Bow your head and ask your counselor if you may be excused to sob in the washroom. Hopefully in the interim of your absence your attorney will explain your sudden malady and he can ingratiate himself into the sympathy of the court. If he explains how well you have paid your child support in the past, empathy and leniency may fall into your lap. Not that all men are chauvenistic, but having a female judge on the bench is like a Christian asking the Romans if he can just pet the lion. When a mother is asking for an increase in suport and the female judge has a den of kittens herself, fathers shouldn't become arrogant Christians by protesting in the presence of two hungry lionesses. Just keep your mouth shut and assume the facade of illness. Court decisions can be won by a master performer. Sometimes court becomes a stage upon which actors must play their best role before the final gavel falls like a theatrical curtain and all masks are removed after the final bravo.

The courts and judges do not render absolute justice. Only God is truth and just. But court does a better job of justice than a former husband and wife who slug it out in a face to face battle of verbal vituperation.

A weekend father is actually supporting two households. He supports his own living arrangements, he pays his own bills and his car loans. He then sends about a third of his taxed money to his children who usually live with their mother. Child support is important and it is the moral duty of all divorced dads to contribute to their children's support. But usually there is no accounting as to where this money is being spent. If mothers would keep a log of where the support money is spent, fathers would feel more comfortable paying and there would be more justice within the domestic court system.

Picking a domestic relations attorney today is like picking a deck chair on the Titanic. Some attorneys like to draw out your case with legal procedure, affidavits and legalese one is not familiar with. Of course the attorney has to make a living. Blockbuster houses, sail boats and vacations to the Bahamas cost money. Why not add a little time to each case and reap the rewards legally. Then you have the attorney who will not agree on any point with the opposing lawyer. This tactic delays the case and more time is needed in court. And the defendant gets to pay for more court time. Ironically, the shrewd defending attorney comes to court unprepared. He gets a new court date and the father gets to pay him double. Your attorney should have your representation foremost on his mind. Beware of the attorney who is glib and talks a tough line of defense before he enters the courtroom only to find the pressure of a moot point or an empasse with the opposing attorney, and your attorney suffers temporary amnesia. He might acquiesce to your former wife's exorbitant demand for higher child support because in court he is incompetent. The father, uneducated in legal matters, will be paying an unjust sum. Many of the fathers who pay diligently each month find an attorney fee of $400 per court visit a deep cut into their pocketbooks. Those fathers who have returned to the courtroom year after year become well versed in court procedure and the jargon of the law. Why pay a counselor a service which he repeats with such precision each year? There is no reason to pay this exorbitant fee for thirty minutes in court. Be brave, fathers! Do it yourself. Save your money and give your kids a $400 Government Bond. Bonds pay interest. When was the last time your attorney gave you interest on your unpaid balance? Read the book "Modify and Collect Child Support" by Joseph Mathews, Warren Siegal and Mary Willis. This book will give you all the forms and court savvy in order for you to represent yourself as pro per which is a legal word for self representation. The book will guide you as how to get your former wife's income and expense declaration. You can get this information before you enter court. You will have a good idea of her monthly expenses. This is a tactic that most attorneys never use. Most attorneys never see the opponent's expense account until they are in the courtroom.

In contrast, there are disadvantages to pro per. Even if a father inundates himself with family law, the opposing attorney has passed the bar examination. He will know the fine points of the law. This puts you at a disadvantage. So make no long speeches in court as Polly recommended. Present your case and your financial situation to the judge. Like Polly said, maybe the court will give leniency. Maybe the judge doesn't like women. But if a court order is set in favor of your children, pay your dues. If you refuse to pay, there is no public flogging. But thirty days in jail will reduce your billfold even more. Polly explained to the court that earning money to support her child and to pay for court costs are difficult. So go for the gold and read the book. Do what Polly did. Represent yourself. Remember, self representation and bonds pay interest.