White Rabbit

White Rabbit

It may not be the happiest, it may not be the saddest
But the following poem is Dr. Seuss status.


Little Billy sat alone at home crying
Tears of joy, for his Dad had just finished dying

Which meant no more beat downs for Billy and mom
Not from lead pipes, bibles, or Dad's sweaty palm

He wouldn't get shit from any of the guys
The girls wouldn't call him raccoon eyes

Hurray! Hurray! It was finally the day!
He could finally sleep, all nightmares at bay

But as he looked at his bed, he got chills down his spine
His father was there smiling, laying supine

This couldn't be! His father was dead!
He couldn't be grinning, all dead in his bed

His father's grin grew, with Billy's fear
Then Dad sat up, and cracked open a beer

Billys mind was spinning, but he heard what Dad said,
"Follow me, little shit, to the land of the dead"

Billy was scared to follow his dad
But if he didn't, he'd get beat very bad

So Billy got up, still startled with fright
and followed his Dad, out into the night

As when he was alive, his Dad didn't speak
They walked through the woods, and over a creek

They arrived at a hole that his father jumped down
Then Billy jumped too, and asked with a frown

"Why did you bring me to this hole past the stream?"

"Because down here, only I hear you scream"

"Are you really alive? Back to torment your son?"
"I'm dead as shit" Dad responded "But my job sure ain't done."

"I'm not here to talk, and I don't plan to preach.
I got a final lesson I'm going to teach."

"Son, you were a pussy all of your life.
That's why I used fists, but it's time for a knife"

"Get down on the ground, and pull off your shirt!
This thrashing from hell is going to hurt!"

But Billy by then had run out of tears
Dear Dad was dead, he had nothing to fear

So he charged at his Dad, pushed him into the walls
Then he swung back his leg, and kicked him straight in the balls

Billy threw his Dad around like a toy
He raised up his arms, and screamed with joy

"I get it! I see! I finally understand!
You didn't beat me to make me a man"

"You did it because it's a shit load of fun!
The excitement I feel is second to none"

"I know my future, I see what I want
I'll drink lots of beer, and smoke lots of pot"

"I'll have a son with a hooker, and I'll beat him too
I'll beat his ass black and I'll beat his back blue!"

"Thank you Dad, for the idea with the knife
I'll be exactly like you for the rest of my life"


It may be the worst, you may call it the baddest
But this fucking poem is Dr. Seuss status