je t'aime

poem about a loveless relationship

“je t’aime…”
he breathed into my ear
lips so close that they bumped my earlobe
and made my pulse stutter
like the erratic twitch of a butterfly’s silent wing beats

the words crept into my ear
on soft, arachnic fingers
and embedded themselves
into my naïve mind

i close my eyelids and
let the red and purple kaleidoscopes
of light lull me into a coma
of muted colors and shattered ribs

on that loveless night
we were just a tangle of
skin and heat and exposed organs

your lips filled the hollows under my jawbone
and fingers pressed into my empty spaces

if only i could be full of you
and never feel the loneliness
that bruises my cheekbones
on the nights when you are away

you are the air that rattles in my dried-gourd lungs
you are the beams of buttery-bright sun
you are all that i need, and so much more
too bad, that to you,
i am just a whore