The Wrong Way to Stay Together

I sat in the corner. Mascara dried to my cheeks. My forehead rested against arms and arms rested on my knees. My head burned from crying. I had been sitting there for at least an hour. I looked around only to find darkness surrounding me. No lights were on and the moon was not visable through the curtains on the windows.

I stretched out my body and stood up. Even though I could not see, I felt dizzy. I stood still for a few minutes before slowly feeling my way around. I knew this place like the back of my hand. I had been here so many times before, most of the time with a smile on my face.

I had reached the bedroom door. I took a deep breath, and pushed it open gently. The bathroom was right across the hall. I closed my eyes and took a few big steps. Nearly running into the wall, I made it into the bathroom without distractions. I felt around the wall for the light switch. My eyes were still closed. As soon as I turned the lights on my eyes opened.

There was a girl covered with blood staring at me. I screamed a loud, blood-curling scream. She did too. I reached up to cover my eyes with my hand. She did too. I sighed. It was only my reflection. I looked wild. My eyes were red and puffy. I had mascara running down my cheeks. My face splattered with blood. My hair was red and sticky.

I lifted up my hands, examining them. My hands looked dyed red. That is how it had gotten in my hair. I had held him. Trying to make him to... I forced the thoughts out of my head. I was not ready to face that yet.

I turned on the sink and grabbed a washcloth from a nearby cabinet. I wet the cloth and began to scrub my face. After I could recognize my face in the mirror, I washed my hands four times. I ran my clean hands through my hair trying to straighten it out.

When I felt clean enough I closed my eyes. I was going to go through tonight's events. I had walked through the door smiling. "Hey Cody," I had yelled, "Guess who." When no one answered, I got worried. Maybe he was in the shower, I had thought. Boom, there he was, laying there in the middle of the floor. I ran to him. Tears began to fall from my eyes. I tried to wake him, but the blood was flowing to fast.

I shivered. Forcing myself to come back to the present, I was ready now. I walked out of the bathroom and into the living room. There he was again. I held back the tears. I kneeled down beside him. His perfect face was all bloody and he looked terrified. I put my head on his chest and just held it there for a little while. Breathing slowly, I thought about what I was going to do.

I pulled the knife out of his chest slowly. Took a deep breath. I held the knife in my hand steadily, and lied down. My head rested against his chest. The right side of my body against his. I placed the tip of the blade on my heart. I turned my head towards Cody and sighed, "I love you." Hearing myself say that out loud made me realize that I was doing the right thing. I pushed the blade down hard before I could talk myself out of this.

I felt the pain for only a second. A slight rip of the skin, and an electric shock of pain went through my body. Death wasnt an easy thing to decide on, and deffinitly not an easy thing to go through with. But if killing yourself means being with the one you love forever, than it is worth it every time.