Journal - April 15 9:54-15:34

CO-OP WORK TERM BLACKBERRY JOURNAL

Daily entries document the experience gained.

Postings remain property of
Joseph Howe School of Journalism

(Text abbreviations expanded for clarity.)

Apr 15 >>> 09:54 >>> Placement 267 >>> Student 6379857 >>>  001
 
DAY ONE.  LONG TIME COMING

The campus changed as little (or unfortunately as much) as I have;  Post Modernism ... original face ... no veneers ... no recontours ... definitely no reconstructions ... just twenty years of weathering. Character ... that's it... lots of character. Did I ever look that young?  A charmer, likely a classmate asked for directions. Me? Faculty? He winked! Watching the macho jocks peacock to hens playing indifferent, strike me as so silly now. Such a waste of energy. That's not to say, I will resist the urge to push buttons they have yet to discover. If I think about it long enough, reasons lay buried to justify paying forward a little heartache to the next generation. Ha!
Concentrating should be a breeze this time around.


Apr 15 >>> 12:05 >>> Placement 267 >>> Student 6379857 >>>  002

Joseph Howe inspired my original fascination. In 1835, this Nova Scotia journalist alleged political corruption in an (apparently less than) anonymous letter to the editor. The resulting libel charge kickstarted freedom of the press in Canada. I found it inconceivable that undeniable proof substantiating his accusations failed as a valid defence. I hope to reignite an ember of this idealism from my youth? So here we go again. I feel like a game piece sent back to GO in the board version of my life.


Apr 15 >>> 13:47 >>> Placement 267 >>> Student 6379857 >>>  003

Met with Joan Thurgood, the Dept. Chair. Hard to believe she meets personally with every freshman. Maybe a gesture of courtesy to my profession?  I guess her to be forty-five.

Studying her wall of accolades, I think I stand toe-to-toe. Except for one; contentment. She definitely enjoys the journey. It glows in her. I see the mentor I never had.

Her office resembles a bookstore warehouse. The mustiness of centuries old parchment sparks memories of searching the library stacks. My fingers ran along the spines of classics and stopped at Lord of the Rings. To break the ice I asked if she thought the World Wars had any influence on Tolkien. Without looking up from the desk she said: “No significant influence. Some landscapes were probably influenced by the battle fields more or less, such as the Dead Marshes and Morannon may have been influenced by battlefields.”

I shuffled a pile of antiquarian books to take a seat and challenge her position. She had other ideas. She grilled me on the motivations to change careers. I answered without hesitation.

True callings still require more than a pulse and a bank balance. Good to know.

Unforeseen events the first time around blinded my inner eye to inspiration. The passion to write cramped. I struggled to hold the pen. Consequently, my second career choice moved front and centre. The void remained. I denied its existence. I lost myself in my work  convinced the universe unfolded as to plan. It took twenty years for the imbalance to reach a crisis.  Fleeting passion struggled to fulfill expected conviction. Work twisted intenably on the verge of a meltdown.

Maybe ceilings in a male dominated world causes this angst. The big boss senses my second thoughts.
So I took this sabbatical. I have four months to confirm my calling once and for all. If my eye to inspiration fails to regain sight, lingering reservations will have been resolved. I can recommit to my work with a clear conscious.
'Self-fulfilment'. Why does it elude me?


Apr 15 >>> 15:34 >>> Placement 267 >>> Student 6379857 >>>  004

My original semester of credits still apply. I start off with the co-op placement. Chair Thurgood believes this will determine immediately if journalism is the right choice. CanUniversal is supposedly a test. “A venture into the dark side,”  to use her words, “ the underbelly of journalism."

While there, I am to watch for the beast. Walk with it. Understand it. See if I can co-exist. If I awaken it, if I challenge it, it will eat me and spit me out. I am not to engage it alone.

As part of the internship, I received a blackberry loaded with some beta collaboration software. The journal function enables the posting of this entry with my thumbs. It feels so comfortable to hold and operate. The addict's first hit.

She said to: “Treat it like a double edged sword. Your words may protect you or cut your own throat.”
A bit dramatic, but I like it!