Showering in the dark

I was all alone,
Showering in the dark,
When my mind was invaded by a great white spark.

I thought for sure that my sanity was sunk,
Or at best,
I was really fucking drunk.

So I looked into the corner of the shower there,
A great white dove appeared from thin air.

He looked quite fragile,
Like he just might break,
He swirled around my head at an incredible rate.

I reached right out to slow him down,
And pricked my finger on his thorny little crown.

I really didn’t like this graven image,
I feared I might be having a religious experience.
The only thing I could think to do,
was grab my shotgun and a couple of twos.

So I stumbled out dripping wet,
Found old betsy,
Always my best bet.

Back to the shower,
He was still surely there,
Still circling,
Still out of thin air.

I lifted her up,
And took my aim,
When another thought entered my brain.

A shotgun blast at such a few pace would surely bounce back and hit me in the face.

So I walked right out to my two car garage,
Grabbed a face mask and went back to kill the mirage.

Once again peering into the shower,
He’d been flying around for nearly and hour.
I raised her up one more time,
The pellets were ready,
The powder prime.

I was about to squeeze her off,
Suddenly the white little bastard started to cough.


I couldn’t kill him now,
It just wouldn’t be right.
Maybe I could give him one more night.

This is when I decided I needed a shrink,
This surely was no way for a crazy man to think.