Rocydog's Last Visit

I’ve talked about having to put my sweet Rocky Dog down in my post about getting a Gizmo kitty and how bad I was hurting from his passing. But now I’d like to tell you about his last visit and I hope it’ll warm your heart and soul as much as it did mine. Maybe this will allow me to write about all the fun endearing stuff he shared with us while he was with us.



Rocky had gone down hill more and more each day and I knew it was about time to put him out of his misery but I didn’t want to loose him. One day it finally dawned on me that I wasn’t being good to him by keeping him past his time and how hard on him physically to keep him alive. I gathered my nerve to call my vet and ask her to put him down.



They said to bring him out on that bright Saturday morning and they’d work him in. I wrapped him in his favorite blanket and held him like the baby he was while we waited the two long hours. I fought back tears the whole time I held him because I didn’t want him to worry. You see, he was always tuned into my emotions and could read me better than my own mother. I sang to him to help him feel calm since he hated going to the vet’s office. My daughter and husband came with me and we all told him how much we loved him until they came for us. Part of me panicked and wanted to run to the car and take him home but I knew this was best for him even if it was torture for me. You see, I’d had him since before our daughter had been born and I really didn’t want him to go on. We meekly followed them into the exam room and dreaded their every word. Dr. S examined him and said that it was time. The three of us took some time to say good bye and I swear he gave me a look of thanks as I kissed him for the last time. My daughter and husband left the room as they prepared the shot and I almost bolted with him from the room again. The vet tech was going to hold him but I couldn’t let go of him and let some stranger be with him after all he’d meant to me. So I held him and talked to him while they gave him the shot. It only took seconds for him to slip away and for all my tears to start pouring down my face as I still petted his small lifeless body. Dr. S waited for about twenty minutes before she finally took him out still wrapped in his favorite blanket after she made a life cast of his little paw.



We all bawled like a new born babies all the way home. The house was strangely quite when we came home without him. It was hard to deal with his loss as I had to help our eleven year old daughter deal with the loss of the only dog she‘d known. Jeff picked up his toys from the living room and put them in his toy box. Then we all huddled in a big pile and cried for hours.



Ok I’m sure your wondering what the heartwarming part is and how this will make you feel uplifted? I’m getting to that part I promise. You see after three weeks of his passing I was sitting at my kitchen table writing like I do everyday and I felt him strafe my pant legs like he did when he was young and being funny. I laughed and told him I’d play with him in a bit until it hit me he wasn’t here any more. “Ohhh!” The realization didn’t make me cry this time but filled my heart with joy. He might be gone from here but he was letting me know that he was still with me and that he was alright. I can’t tell you how wonderful I felt after his visit and how surprised I was to see his tattered old tennis ball by my foot when I looked down.



I still miss him terribly and at times I still feel sad that I don’t have my little buddy to ride to town with me anymore. But now I know he’s still with me even if I can’t see him and I’m so thrilled that he came to like the silly little dog he was when he was at his happiness time in his little life.