Be careful what you wish.

It all began when I  made a wish! Sometimes we so badly want something without thinking of the consequences that follow and before we know it our wishes are granted and we slowly slip away then get suddenly swept away by a wave that engulfs us leaving no time for us to breathe, overflowing us and washing us adrift, left to confront our challenges breathless, gasping, gasping for some air and again the desire to possess power over our needs, never really ever satisfied, always wanting more without considering whether what we want is really what we need. Feeling the need to analyse everything even if it doesn’t need an explanation.

It probably began one night when I was little and sitting by my bedroom window leaning over the window pane as the cool summer breeze tickled my face. I gazed wide eyed into the galaxies of  stars. Yes that’s probably when I made the wish . It was one wish unfolding many tiny wishes, just like the dark blanketed sky filled with countless tiny stars each shining individually and over all unveiling a florescent shimmer, a glow of hope to guide me along the way. The harder I wished the more I believed. Holding back my breath I felt as if the next breath I  breathed  would let all the magic out and when I finally sighed I felt that from that moment on my wish would always be out there in the stars and every time I looked up I would be reminded. And sometimes in the cold winter or the rainy days I would forget but on clear days when the clouds scattered and the sky opened its wide screen of  fascinating glow, the stars glimmered brightly and I remembered. And no matter where I was looking from the stars always told the same story. Yes, that’s probably when I made the wish… it was a long time ago.

That’s when my journey began. Each time I reached out and achieved one of my wishes, a tiny star would flicker. Slowly forming all my wishes into a milky way across the sky. Oh, but it was the bigger brighter stars that were harder to reach for, but once they shone, they shone brighter then ever. The bigger the star the further I reached and the challenge kept me reaching, once I got closer the blinding light would make it all seem like an illusion and I would hold on tight letting it all become reality.

But like the stars in the sky the wishes stretched out endlessly. So it seemed to be a journey like the three wise men following the star, for me only an endless journey  following many stars not knowing where they would lead me to, hoping to unravel a place, the place where all my dreams would meet. Each time I reached out to grasp on to a star I felt myself  slipping away into the sky gliding and drifting… and that’s when I realised that if I am up there amongst the stars I am no longer down here, where it all began, at the window looking up. Fearing that up there among the stars I’d become one of many stars drifting…lingering searching for new galaxies. Whereas down here I would be „me”, me , full of hopes and dreams not filled with doubt. Then suddenly all the stars would turn to stardust, the magic would dye…and I would glide down back to where it all began and start all over again  in the hope that this time maybe  I wouldn’t loose myself on the next journey and that’s probably when it became a little less magic and rather more enchanting. It all became an overwhelming journey filled with indecisiveness and bewilderedness, plucking out at stars and wondering whether the star I just grasped at was the star I had wished upon or had I unknowingly plucked at someone else’s star because sometimes it just didn’t feel like that was what I really wanted. Then I would sigh and little more of the magic would escape. So many stars, so many stars and only just a portion, a small slice of cake I wanted to taste …. but my mouth  would water without tasting the flavour my greedy desire to swallow up the cake would appetize me for more and I would continue reaching out again and grasping at stars, searching endlessly.

I blinked as I watched the glittery sky twinkle and then slowly closed my eyes and wished again,…wondering how many more galaxies were unfolding.Thats when I saw the moon, big and bright sometimes whole and sometimes only partly…it was the moon I was chasing, it’s bright glow beaming across the sky bringing together all the galaxies in a harmony of shine. So it was the moon I wished upon I only missed and found myself reaching out endlessly at  lots of stars, how could it be when all this time it was right in front of me the biggest the brightest…and still yet only one, one wish…surrounded by a million tiny other wishes.

Sometimes we cant let go of our wishes because once we have wished for them they will always be up there in the stars to remind us…sometimes we aim for the moon and land amongst the stars, sometimes we don’t even realise that we haven’t reached our destination and think that as long as we keep reaching out for more one day we will find what we reaching out for and sometimes we reach out and hold onto small wishes that we think will replace the one wish we really desire and in the end we collect alot of things just not the one thing we truly need even if its out there right infront of our eyes. We probably think that its one among many just like ourselves. One among many and still shining bright.