When You Love a Wolf: The Western World

“The Western World”

"Now I don't wanna live here anymore. We are the best and we'll fight to the death 'til nothing's left worth fighting for in the western world. This is the end of evolution's rise, the feeding frenzy of the uncivilized." - Pennywise

“We’ve gotta get the fuck out of here!” I heard Liam holler above the din of the revving engine as we sped off down the road.
         “We need to find somewhere where there’s still a military presence,” David answered, propping Tony against the headrest and securing him by the seatbelt in the backseat of the suburban. He was bleeding from a head wound; his arm was twisted awkwardly, obviously broken.
         James was pacing in the back, unable to Change while shoved into the cramped back end of the car. He growled under his breath, his dark fur shiny with blood.
         “There’s not military around here for hundreds of miles. The closest base is near the coast.”
         Listening to them argue should be old news to me, but this was different. I was usually right in the middle. But this time, I couldn’t say a word. I had none. I fought back my frustration, my hurt, my body quivering with shock. I reached across to grip Liam’s forearm gently before letting go to rest my hands back on my stomach.
         “Then we need to head to the coast.”
         “No good. There will be too many people.”
         “Yes, Liam. People. Doctors. Soldiers. We cannot survive out here on our own.”
         Liam fought to keep from absolutely screaming. His words were pronounced from a clenched jaw. “We’re better off on our own. Being around a lot of people is dangerous. I’m heading for the mountains.” His hand reached over to touch my knee. I wasn’t sure if he was doing it to comfort himself with the knowledge I was alive beside him, or he was attempting to comfort me.
         “The mountains?” David exclaimed, his voice rising above the usual calm tone. I had never heard him so angry. I glanced into the rearview mirror to see his glare. “It’ll be a fucking nightmare up there. Especially come winter…”
                “No, goddamn it! I am not going to the coast!” Liam snarled, his knuckles going white on the wheel of the suburban. “That’s the first place they’ll go! No place to hide. It’ll be overrun. We’ll be exposed. I am not submitting Violet to it anymore! We’re gonna go into the fucking mountains and that’s how it’s fucking gonna be!”
         I leaned my head back into the passenger seat, holding my swollen belly. The stench of blood filled the suburban, making me feel nauseated. I was going to puke if I didn’t roll down the window, but I knew the moment I took my hands away from my stomach, I would totally lose it. The baby hadn’t kicked in hours…
         David sat in the backseat, reloading his rifle, next to an unconscious Tony. “And if we go into the goddamn mountains, Liam, it may result in getting stuck in the snow, getting lost… What’re we gonna do if that happens and Violet needs something we can’t get? Then what?”
         “Let’s not bring me into this,” I murmured, closing my eyes tightly to fight down the rising bile in my throat.
         Silence engulfed the car except for the whining of the engine and the tires on the sandy pavement.
         Liam looked at me, his eyes longing to say something comforting. But I knew his mind was going ninety miles an hour. He was trying to use his brain for strategy to outrun the zombies the sorcerer had sent after us. Not to mention the Hell Hounds. On top of that, I knew he was worried about my health, being so close to popping. Our supplies were low; we had no ammo except what was left in the back; Tony needed serious medical tending, which I couldn’t do until we got stopped; I had begun to have minor contractions off and on since the morning and hadn’t told anyone; nowhere was safe.
God, my life was beginning to suck majorly.
                “I know you’re worrying about her, but she’s going to need a doctor, and food,” David added softly. Liam looked at him in the mirror for a long moment, his eyes hard. He wouldn’t change his mind, not this time, even if it wasn’t what his Alpha wanted.
                “We can take care of her. I’m not putting her, or my child, at risk,” he answered harshly. His jaw was tight with the words, as if hoping this would be the end of the fight and no punishment would be ensued for refusing to follow orders.
“Damn it, okay. The mountains it is.”

“Fix You”

"When you try your best, but don't succeed; when you get what you want, but not what you need; when you feel so tired, but you can't sleep...Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you." - Coldplay

“I checked around back. There’s nothing here,” Tony said as he rounded the wooden cabin from the backside to stand beside me. I had bandaged his temple where he had been cut. His arm was in a temporary sling I had made from what was supposed to be my baby sling. I didn’t mind. It would wash. The baby would just have to get used to his or her sling smelling like Uncle Tony.
         “There’s no recent smell of humans here for several days… Maybe even a few weeks,” I added from my crouching position, one hand stretched up to hold on to the wooden banister of the front porch. I continued to sniff the cobblestone path. Nothing.
         With Liam’s best guess, and David’s too, we were somewhere in Colorado. Liam, in his frenzied panic the day before, had driven all night. He and David had found an abandoned gas station during the night and filled up the suburban. That had been pure luck. I couldn’t remember hardly anything from the drive, except occasionally waking to Liam’s hand on my forehead or stomach, or the sound of him and David discussing what to do. Our pack was gone, scattered across the country. I didn’t know if I would ever see any of them again: Mary, my personal mother-figure since the day I had joined the Pack; Michael, one of Liam’s best friends and David’s resource man; Bridgette and Gus, James’s family.
         I bit down on my lip, my heart sinking. It felt so strange to be isolated from my family. I looked up to the clear blue sky, blinking in the sunshine. It was cool; a slight frost stuck to the ground in places the sun hadn’t reached. I lowered my gaze to the open front door. Liam came out of the dark onto the porch.
         “It’s clear. There’s no one here. I checked the whole house twice.”
         David nodded from his standing point several feet from me, having been looking back out over the scenery from behind his dark wayfarers. The cabin had been built on a huge rocky ridge that stretched along for miles, accompanied by a ravine that seemed to run all the way onto a second ridge. My personal mission while being here was to see what was over on that second ridge. But that would have to wait. I pulled myself up with Tony’s help from his good arm.
         “I got it,” I scolded, dusting my knees off. I stumbled ever so slightly standing back up to my full height. Tony just snorted at me in his “yeah, right,” way. I sent him a mock glare before pulling my tattered coat closer around me.
         “Let’s go inside, then. See what we can do or what all we may still need,” David responded to Liam as he walked forward towards the steps up into the house. “Is James done Changing?”
         “Yeah,” James grumbled as he came around from the other side of the suburban in Liam’s jeans and Tony’s sweatshirt. His caramel locks were disheveled and he was sporting a dark five o’clock shadow.
         “Good. Let’s get this done then.”
         I pulled myself up the steps behind David, Tony and James at my back. Liam waited at the top stoop for me, taking my hand and leading me inside. I blinked several times to adjust to the dimness of the room.
         It was a quaint little cabin. Nothing too fancy or too big. It had two stories and a basement plus a small shack around the backside. The interior was slightly dusty and smelled of moth balls. There was a lingering smell of people, as well as a dog. I was the first to step away from the threshold, my nose leading me around the cabin. Liam didn’t stay too far behind. There was an old TV in a cabinet on one side of the room, as well as a stereo-radio. A huge couch in a rustic dark red adorned with wooden end tables and matching coffee table framed it against the long wall. Huge area rugs covered the wooden floors. A set of stairs was placed by the TV cabinet to lead to the half-story upstairs. On the opposite side of the stairs were two doors. I was guessing a bathroom and closet. A woodstove was cozied up in the corner.
         The kitchen was placed in the back of the cabin, fully furnished with a long table, a dishwasher and full sink, an old green refrigerator, an old stove and oven, and an array of cupboards and cabinets. I didn’t check for food, but instead found myself running my fingers across the kitchen table and the backs of the chairs. My eyes wandered to a far corner where a highchair was placed, the pastel-colored kittens and puppies faded from age and use. I couldn’t help but tear up slightly, touching my belly. The nerves and locked up emotions welled up in my stomach and worked their way up my throat, making me feel choked.
         Liam’s hands on my shoulders caused me to relax, the feelings sinking back down into the pit of my stomach where they continued to squirm and turn, fighting to come back and work their way out. I sighed, forcing them to be quiet as I leaned back into his body.
         “It’ll be okay,” he murmured into my ear.
         “Yeah,” I answered, tucking my head beneath his chin. “It will.” I turned to face him with a small smile. “Shall we go check out the bedrooms?” I teased, trying to pull a smile from him.
         “There’s only two,” came Tony’s response from the winding stairs by the TV cabinet. “I suggest James and I share the master bedroom, David can have the other one, Violet can sleep on the couch, and Liam… You can sleep in the basement with the mice and cockroaches.”
         Liam shot him a dirty look. “How about I beat your ass and then we see who sleeps in the basement? She—” His head nodded in my direction. “—will take the master.”
         Tony’s nose wrinkled, not appreciating his joke being shot down. “Okay, fine. Violet and I will sleep in the master. You can have the couch, and James will sleep in the basement.”
         “Thanks, mate,” James grumbled.
         “Boys,” I scoffed, leaving Liam in the kitchen to go explore more.
         “Violet and I will be in the master, Dave in the other. James gets the couch, and your ass will be outside. How about that?”
         “Liam,” I scolded under my breath. “He’s kidding…” I didn’t dare add the needed, ‘you need to calm down, Mr. Big Bad Wolf.’ He was stressed as it was and me being a smart ass too wouldn’t help the situation.
         David had been inspecting the couch the whole time. “Violet will sleep in the master bedroom where she’ll be more comfortable. This couch pulls out. While one of us is on watch, one of you can sleep on it or in the smaller bedroom. Liam will sleep in the master with Violet when he’s not on watch.”
         And that was the end of the argument, quelled by the word of the Alpha.
         I gave Liam a kiss on the cheek before taking the stairs as Tony came down. I pulled myself up the winding steps. Now my curiosity was driving me to see these bedrooms the boys had been feuding over. At the top of the landing, I had to take a breather. I felt like a damn whale. The room to the right seemed bigger at a glance, but I didn’t go in there first.
         I checked the room on the left. It was small with a twin bed and a chest of drawers. Probably used as a kid’s room at some point. I took in a deep breath, inhaling the room’s old scent. It smelled like a child. The whole house did now that I had been able to take in the origin of the scent. There were a few mementos left behind: a teddy bear on the dresser, a small stack of books on the floor, a tea set on a miniature table by the window. I backed out to check out the other room. Liam was standing on the last step, watching me. I glanced at him momentarily before going into the short hall that led into the master bedroom.
         I stood in the doorway, looking at the full-sized bed and its red down comforter with its chocolate brown and denim blue throw pillows. There were bedside tables on either side, both with lamps. Each table had a few books placed by the lamps. A pair of men’s reading glasses rested on the table closest to the door along with a closet door. The bathroom was on the opposite side of the bed from the door, its door open and the light on from Tony’s inspection. A large shag rug had been placed under the bed that stretched around it to save feet from the cold floor in the morning.  A huge arched window that matched the ones in the living room let in the midmorning light. Next to it was a cherry wood standalone mirror. The room was cozy, comfortable. It smelled like a family’s room. A small TV rested across from the bed on a set of drawers along with a bookshelf. 
         I stepped into the room, inhaling. A whiff of baby powder reached my nose along with the smells of perfume and aftershave. My head turned to find a bassinet in the corner, tucked safely out of sight from the door by a huge chest of drawers that served as a dresser. I walked over to it, peeking inside. It was clean and dressed in barely used sheets and blankets. The family who had lived here must’ve had a newborn not for very long before they left. I wondered where they had gone… Had they left because of the crisis in the country? A stuffed baby blue puppy lay at the head of the bedding. I couldn’t help but reach out and touch it. My fingers brushed along the cream blankets and the one that was folded over the railing. It was green with blue puppies and red bouncy balls, and so soft. I looked around the room again, my nesting instinct growing to the point where I couldn’t wait to go downstairs and talk before getting started. It had to be now.
Almost in a frenzy, I began to open all the drawers. There were some clothes left, mostly men’s outdoors clothing and women’s maternity clothes. Which would be fine for now, but what about after I had the baby…? That’s the last thing that should be on your mind, Vi, I scolded myself as I opened the closet door. Fashion.
         I continued to look through the closet and drawers, checking the sizes of the clothes and shoes left behind. Some of them would work; others, I knew the boys wouldn’t touch if I offered them the clean shirts or Dockers. I pulled a cream colored sweater out, the wool warm to my hands. I pulled it to my nose, breathing in. It reminded me of my dad and smelled so good. I closed my eyes for a moment to enjoy it before folding it carefully and placing it back on the shelf. I went through the maternity clothes, hoping for anything I could use. I was gonna have to go through all of this and I still needed to find where they kept the baby clothes… I sighed, stepping back to rest my hands on my hips, arching my back to stretch it. This was gonna take awhile.
         “Baby, you can do this later. Come downstairs.”
         I hadn’t even noticed Liam watching me, concern etched across his face.
“And do what?” I asked. “I have to do something. I need…to do something,” I ended quietly, turning to face him. He came to me, pulling me sideway against him since I was too big to sink into his front like I used to. His fingers ran through my hair and held my belly to him. His lips found my forehead.
         “How about a nap instead?”
         I knew what he was doing. He was trying to get my mind off the baby. I managed to smile before looking up at him. “I have to do something,” I repeated. “I don’t want to sit downstairs and be still and listen to you all fight over what to do. I can’t. I just need the quiet. We’re gonna be here awhile. I know that. I might as well try to make this place as livable for us as possible.”
         “Why don’t you rest and we can do this later?” Liam suggested, following me across the room to the bathroom. I stared at us in the mirror, covered in dirt and dried blood. I didn’t want to rest. I wanted to clean, or shower. I looked pretty bad. I pushed him away so I could get into the linen closet. There were plenty of towels left. I pulled three out and set them in front of him on the white counter. I looked up at Liam’s face expectantly.
         “You wanna shower?” he asked.
         I nodded. “Yup. With you.”
         He looked at the shower and then pushed aside the curtain. He inspected it quietly before smiling. “They even left us shampoo and soap.” He turned the dial, the sound of the water falling hard and echoing in the bathtub. He reached down and pulled up the lever to start the shower and held his hand under the streaming water, letting it get warm. “I’m gonna run downstairs. I’ll be right back.”
         I nodded again, watching him go and close the door behind him. I sighed before beginning to strip down. I pulled my top off, wincing at my sore muscles in my arms. I stared down at my bottom half. I didn’t have much luck getting my shoes or pants off by myself these days. I was gonna have to wait until Liam got back or figure out how to do it myself. I seated myself on the toilet, bending as far as I could, holding onto the counter with one hand as I worked on my sneakers’ laces. When I got them undone, I sat up to lean back and push them off by using the toes of one foot to slide off the heel of the other. Once that was accomplished, I stood again to push my jeans down. I worked them off slowly and managed to kick them off completely. Then came my huge granny-panties and bra. I stepped into the steaming hot water, gasping in relief.
         “Oh god, this feels amazing,” I whispered breathlessly. This was almost as good as sex. I dropped my head back to let the water drench my hair. I ran my fingers through my long blonde locks that were beginning to soak through.
I heard the door open and close. There was a rustling as Liam began to pull off his clothes. In a matter of moments, he climbed in behind me. He shifted me forward gently, letting the water soak him. “It’s a little more crowded in here than it used to be,” he murmured into my ear.
          I turned to face him, smiling. The dirt and blood was already beginning to run off of us in little rivers of dirty water. I just wanted us to be clean. But Liam wasn’t looking at me. He was staring down at my feet. “What?”
         “Umm, baby, you left your socks on,” he chuckled.
         “Did I—?” I asked, looking down. “Yeah, I can’t see my own feet half the time. Like I’m gonna notice that I still have socks on.” I bit my lip, looking back up at him and his smirk. “I can’t get them off…”
         “I’ll do it,” he responded, leaning in and kissing my neck, then my shoulder, trailing his way down to my stomach. He cupped my huge belly on either side, kissing over my painful stretch marks and rubbing gently. He worked down my thighs and calves until he got to my feet. “Hold on to the bar,” he warned. I leaned against the wall of the shower and held the towel bar. I lifted my foot up as he slipped off the soaking wet blue sock. “Now the other one.”
         When he had them off, he continued to kiss his way back up, his wet lips skimming over my skin. I sighed heavily, my head dropping back. He kissed up my neck again, making me gasp. His hands began to wander my body, caressing all the familiar curves and the new one made by my stomach.
         “God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, continuing to kiss my neck and shoulders. “I love you so much.”
         “I love you too, baby,” I responded. I pulled his face to mine, kissing him. I ran my fingers through his dark hair, my thumbs brushing the tops of his ears. I was dying to be closer, to push my hips against his; but the bulge of my stomach kept me from getting any closer but my bellybutton touching his skin a foot from my actual body. I pulled back, looking at him. “Kinda sucks we can’t get any closer…”
         “You think I care?”
         His mouth found mine again.


After the shower, I felt exhausted. My muscles suddenly felt like lead, albeit clean lead, but still felt heavy like immovable objects. I had let Liam dry me off and find clean clothes for me. It wasn’t a surprise he brought me one of his flannel button-downs from his bag that James had carried up while we were in the shower. Liam didn’t bother bringing me a bra, only underwear and a thick pair of fuzzy green socks for my swollen, yet cold, feet to go along with the shirt. It used to fit so huge on me, now only loose in the arms and shoulders. The body of it was pulled tight around my huge stomach; the buttons almost seemed strained across the equator of the globe, that had grown over the past eight-and-a-half months, underneath the material. 
When I emerged from the bathroom with brushed hair and a clean face, I found he had turned down the bed and placed our few bags we had salvaged on the floor by the dresser. His pistol rested on his side’s nightstand, closer to the door. He had gone downstairs to talk with his dad and the boys, leaving me in the peace and quiet. But it didn’t matter. I could still hear them in the kitchen through the slightly ajar door.
         “So-o-o-o,” Tony drawled slowly as he stood over James’ shoulder who was busy washing out left pans and pots. “Now what? We’re kinda fucked.”
         There was silence for a moment. I knew he was going to get scolded. No one had the patience to play his games and crack up at his jokes tonight. It was David’s voice who did the scolding: “Tony, go out to the car and check for anything else we may have missed…”
         Tony made a whining noise.
         “Go,” Liam asserted.
         The short dark-haired male grumbled again. I heard a chair scrape and the front door open and close. It was a guarantee he was going out for a smoke while he was there.
         It was James who spoke next: “Unlike asshole, I do want to know what the plan is. We’re low on ammo and my gun is fucked. There’s a round stuck in the breach.”
         Liam’s voice responded, “We’ll look at it… Go into the basement and look around. See if there’s anything we can use.”
         The sound of the water shutting off and a cabinet door closing confirmed James was ready to do it at first command. I heard his footsteps disappear down the steps and the basement door closing behind him.
         All was silent in the kitchen.
         I turned to go back through the dresser again. In the middle drawer, I found what I had been looking for: oodles of baby clothes. Some were still in the package. It looked as if the drawer had been cleaned out at some point, seeing there were a few stacks missing; but for the most part, there were plenty left. I began to lay out a few that I liked; a couple of sleepers and two extra blankets. That would do for now.
         A hard pulse kicked up into my ribs, making me exhale a lot faster than I would’ve wanted, a strangled sound exiting my throat with the air. Then another.
         “Oh good lord, baby, you can’t do this to me,” I groaned, leaning back to stretch my body out, back arched. The kicking subsided and became a rolling sensation as my baby turned over. I walked around for a minute, letting him or her settle down. “That’s better,” I murmured. I began to hum softly as I went through the men’s clothing, trying to pick a few clean things out for Liam. The kicking came back, more gentle this time, in rhythm with my song. I smiled, stopping to feel it. I placed my hands on my stomach, rubbing gently to soothe the little wolf pup inside me.
         I heard the boys begin talking again downstairs.
         “I found some rifles and some ammo stores. They had enough .223 rounds to wage a small war,” James commented as the basement door closed
         “You’re shitting me,” Liam answered.
         “Well, that’s one bit of luck we’ve seen. Bring them up and let’s check them out,” David added.
         I tuned them out, not caring to listen to all the talk about guns and ammunition. Yes, I knew my fair share about firearms, but I was going to be a mother. I had to learn how to do mommy things; not how to fire two HK pistols at the same time like Lara Croft. I sat down with a groan on the mattress. Then I remembered it was going to be almost impossible to get my feet up on the bed by myself. I managed to get one foot up and left it at that for now.
         I looked over at the nightstand and the pile of books. They were a mix of Nora Roberts’s romance novels and guides to pregnancy and being a mom. Jeeze, this house is stocked as if it was waiting for me, I thought, raising my eyebrows. I pushed the books around to see the titles. I wasn’t surprised when I found the stereotypical What to Expect When You’re Expecting.
         I pulled it up and rested it on my stomach and began to flip through it, intrigued. I read the chapter titles, biting down on my lip. I was gonna have to read through the last two chapters about labor and delivery, and all that jazz.
         David’s voice floated up the stairs and through the cracked door, “Violet’s eight months pregnant… What’s your plan for the next month?”
         There was a moment of silence. I heard James make a quiet excuse to leave, followed by the sound of the door opening and closing to the front of the cabin.
         “First of all, we need to fortify this place. The last thing we need is any surprises,” Liam answered after the door stopped bouncing on its hinges from being closed.
         “Agreed. We’re going to need to search the general area. I’m going to leave you in charge of that. Take James in the morning and make a sweep. Maybe a half mile up the ridge should do it,” David said calmly.
         “Yeah. I’ll leave around dawn…”
         I listened, frowning. I put the book down and pulled myself off the bed to go to the door and listen. I bit down on my lip. I was hoping this conversation wouldn’t happen, not yet. Not without my input. There was no reason to worry about me.
         “She found baby supplies upstairs. I think the family that was here must’ve had a tiny one before they left. That takes care of one thing. But I’m gonna try to go find a pharmacy tomorrow back in that town we passed. We’ll need some medical supplies for the delivery. The baby will come fine, I’m sure, but I don’t want any infections setting in. This place isn’t exactly sterile,” Liam said. His voice was calm and his tone even. It made me feel a little better.
         David chuckled. “I always knew you were bright.”
         “Let’s not go there… I am a little worried though. She’s coming along pretty quickly. I’m afraid the baby’s gonna come early.”
         “I’m aware. She’s already dropped some. I’d say a week or two…”
         Liam sighed softly. “Let’s talk about this more tomorrow. I’ll let you know anything I find while I’m out. I’m gonna go upstairs and check on her… Shit, I’m sure she knows we’re talking about her. She never goes straight to bed even when I tell her to.”
         I smiled, shaking my head.
         “Don’t anger the mama bear,” David teased, laughing.
         I heard the steps creak as Liam began to come upstairs. “Please, don’t ever let me hear you say that,” he responded.
         I moved away from the door as quick as I could waddle, going back over to the dresser drawers with the intent to go through them again. I wasn’t fast enough. Liam caught me before I was halfway across the room. I turned to face him with a hesitant smile. “I promise you didn’t anger the mama bear,” I said softly. He watched me for a moment before coming up to me. I ran my fingers down his arms slowly. “It’ll be okay.”
         “Yeah, I hope so,” he responded, kissing my forehead. “Will you rest now?”
         “With a huge baby kicking my insides and constantly using my bladder as its punching bag? No thank you. Let me get him or her settled down first. I keep getting hard kicks to the ribs here.”
         “How do you feel?”
         “Huge,” I laughed, touching my stomach. “Can’t you tell? Here, feel.” I placed his hand where mine had been. I watched his face go from worried to happy and content. He smiled at me before leaning in for a long, deep kiss.
         “Let’s lay down,” he murmured when he pulled away. “I just want to be next to you.”
         “Mmkay,” I answered just as quietly, my muscles suddenly melting as his hands rubbed up and down my back. “I’m starting to feel really heavy.” I let him lead me over to the bed. I pulled myself back onto the mattress and, with his help, got my feet up and tucked them beneath the sheets and warm, down comforter. He crawled over my legs and lay down beside me. I turned on my side to face him, my stomach cradled between us protectively. I smiled, reaching out to run my fingers through his hair. “I love you.”


(...continued in "Oh, Boy"...)