Laugh Before You Delete

Laugh Before You Delete

At the moment my meandering mind kept circling like a carousel, not the one Jack Ruby owned in Dallas , with burlesque babes, but rather the whimsical , musical merry go round , with statuesque horses moving up and down slowly, carriage seats painted with balloons and clowns ,everyone with cheerful faces and joyful laughter.Ah..laughter Someone had said "laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone ", Join me as I humiliate myself with some funny , ridiculous , sometimes crazy , mostly embarrassing experience I ever had .

As a nursing student ,I'm scared of needles , I can't take it or give it , so I bartered with my classmates. They loved it , giving a shot to my patients only takes a minute, bathing their patient takes 30 mins or more, At one time, I really sweated it out , the bedridden patient was from India , the rinse water turned chocolate brown, he sure could have used some 'Right Guard " or I could have used a mask.It totally drained my energy .Whew ! at least I became popular. Everybody offered to give my patients their shots in exchange for you know what.

I had a terrible cold that day and was assisting in OR when I realized I forgot to wear a mask . Fortunately the Dr, was kind enough to let me go and saying a caveat, "hope this gall bladder don't catch your virus or we might be sued" yea right.

Our nursing supervisor wondered why I resigned to go to the US. Growing up in the tropics, I reasoned out, "to see the snow of course ". She wittingly advised "just stick your head in the freezer ." Hey I'm not that dumb and my boyfriend's name is not Dumber.

Leaving for the US will be an exciting adventure. In my exuberant state of mind , I actually went up the "diplomatic steps ' of the wrong plane. Good enough our guide signaled me to go to the next one. Just to think I could have landed in Timbuktu and jailed for illegal entry still gives me goose bumps even now .

Someone had told me that everything's big in America .Sure enough our Dir. of Ng, and the hospital administrator were both gigantic. They picked me up at the airport in a motor home ( I have never seen one before) OMG!! I was in awe,I could have used a booster seat .

My first destination was H'Ville , Ga . It reminded me of a "Peyton Place " setting where Folks were exceptionally friendly and hospitable . They loaded our pantry with a year supply of goods ,but to our dismay no rice, they didn't realize we are " rice eating aliens " Thank heavens to Piggly Wiggly, we could not survive without them. .

My myopic perception of the US was Hollywood all over as I see it in the movies .

De_lux life style, ....there's no mansions noted, no fancy cars or maid service.

Skyscraper ?...there's only one two story old brick building "the hospital " I enjoyed working there years ago. The fun part was you had to continually hold the button to operate the elevator ,,how ancient was that .

Nobody wears a Doris Day hat and gloves as I expected .

No fancy restaurant except one and only Dairy Queen , not even a Mc Donald ,I can't remember exactly .

One movie theater, opens only on Thursday's , zero bowling alley .

For a romantic evening , a walk in the courtyard underneath the pale moonlight , or maybe saying "sweet nothings" on a parked car.Well it's just the nearness that counts, all the joys that love can bring , I keep on remembering the rumbling in his tummy , LOL, I'm just a rollicking romantic , what can I say.

Aha! at least there is divorce,, I always thought it only happens in Hollywood. I found out that divorce is an interesting concept of settling marital discord.
Pros: it's the best solution to a miserable marriage.....Cons: some people can make a nasty habit out of it .
Honestly , I wish the Philippines had one .

I use to hide in the bathroom when the phone rings,not that I was "phone a phobic. " I was very anxious to take Dr's phone orders, southern accent sounds Greek to me , I wouldn't mind if it's just an Italian Pizza .

An older patient had asked for some sugar, I gave him 5 packs ,he said " not that honey " Found out later he's a dirty old man as they say .

I didn't realize a pocketbook is a handbag , I gave her a hardcopy .

Thousand island is something to eat , huh? The Philippines had 7,100 real islands .

Want french fries ? only strips of fried potatoes . I actually thought they mean good looking french guys. Wow! It could have been a delectable date, LOL

I can't believe my girlfriend gave me a bouncing check for my birthday . I was not fast enough to catch it , I ended up paying $10.00 penalty . What a friend , I guess it's just the thought that counts .

Everybody was looking for our Alzheimer patient.We finally found her in another room on top of our dead patient totally naked. Poor thing. We had just cleaned that patient and was just waiting for pick up from the funeral home.I hope this will never happen to me in my twilight years.

A patient was just recovering from perianal surgery , I asked him if he wants a donut , he said " no I'm not hungry " I was actually referring to a donut ring where he could sit on it for comfort ,

Another Filipina nurse asked me if I knew where the dick is .She told me her patient's dick was hurting , never heard, not in my anatomy book . Suddenly there was laughter everywhere, they thought we're being silly, honestly we didn't know . I promised myself I will never date a guy by that name , and found out later Willy too,LOL

After 6 hour drive to Panama City Beach for spring break , our son who was whiny and tired blurted out "Hey Dad where's our condom ?" Dad answered softly "condo , son " we tried to control our laughter.

OOPS ! I better stop before it gets X-rated .

Since this just happened to me recently that my yahoo email was hacked , I apologize. Some people are smart enough to ignore it , but some friends are kind enough to really offer help , or even money ,A former hi-sch classmate who now resides in London even gave me her phone # she actually thought I was stranded in London and needed money ( I have never been there yet ) Okey Okey , I will submit to waterboarding torture if that fits the crime even though I'm innocent ,LOL

So my friends , I hope I made you smile a little or laugh a little , even though it's not a panacea, laughter is still the best medicine ,,, so please laugh before you delete ,

ref: just rewinding my noggin.

Dollzell