Hygiene

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Hygiene



Switch on the shower. Get ready to go.

I’m readying myself for that powerful flow.

I step through the doorway and close it tight shut,

Keep the cold air outside it, and warmth right here, but,

Before I get in, take a look in the mirror.

I’m certain last summer I was that much thinner.

Put the towel on the side, so I won’t get too cold.

Christ! I believe I am already old!

Never mind, it’s just sense, I have got to use it,

As without it I’m sure I will certainly lose it!

The good times I mean! The reason for the wash

Is to make sure that all the germs are quashed

And sent through the plughole. My body all wet,

As the hot water flows down my hairy chest.

I now start to rub, move the tension aside.

Wet the sponge, add the soap, and the suds start to rise.

Now I’ve got the soap, but where should I start?

With which extremity, and dirty body part?

I know, the legs, I’ll work my way up,

Skirt round the middle and up to the top,

Then I will shift my attention elsewhere,

For that is, after all, the reason I’m here.

Oh shit! There’s the clock! She’ll be coming home soon

And I’m only just wet! Hurry out of the bathroom!

That’s OK! Phew, relief! There is some time yet

To get washed and dressed so she’ll never forget

What a great guy I am and how much I love her,

What an effort I make to be the best lover!

Right washed my legs and over the bum,

Moved up my back, and covered my stom…

No time for that just do the armpits,

The smell’s not too bad, but let’s not risk it!

Let the water flow over my, hair, drizzling over

My face! That’s fantastic! Good job I’m sober!

Shampoo it and rinse it, clean as you like!

Time to attack the arena of delight!

A big load of soap! This one’s important

To get perfectly right as it is quite daunting.

No, no! Must never, never rush.

The doctor has said that she can get thrush!

I know it’s not dangerous, but she is my wife,

I just cannot let anything endanger her life!

It’s just thrush, I hear her say. Right! Is

That not what can lead to cystitis?

And following that you get ill and cry!

I cannot live through that I’ll simply die!

That’s it he’s all clean!

Testicles and penis are virtually gleaming.

Turn it off! Get all dried!

Brush my teeth, so to hide

My bad breath. Ah! Passionate amore

Now where should I lay, on the bed, or the floor?

No time for that! Her key’s in the lock.

My! Is she in for a pleasant shock!

“Oh, no, I just can’t not at this hour!

I’ve only got time for a quick shower!

Join me if you want, but then I must sleep!

I’m up again at four thirty!”

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