opiate

Devils In Orange Bottles
Have courted me
In their finery

It feels like glitter
Dancing on My
Neurotransmmitters

It feels like
A Vermeer
Effortless and Unapologetic

It feel like red-hot sin
In the palm of the hand

It feels like discipline
Teaching me fine lessons
It feels superior to
Everything else

It feels like winning and losing
at the same time

It feels like
Alignment
Lines graphed on my axis

It's the white chalk that I choke on
It's the expectation opening like a petal
To consume me
It's the reason I court denial
In all of my finery

I am nobody's daughter
Nobody's sister
Nobody's Reason

I sleep alone
Dope-sick
afraid to
Eat
afraid to
compromise the euphoria that
Doesn't feel so euphoric
anymore

Someone is
Always killing me in my dreams
And like a Vermeer
It's always
effortless and unapologetic