The Obsession

My breath catches. My eyes lower. My head tilts down. My face reddens.

All of these things happen to me just because of one look at Matt. Yes, Matt, even thinking of the name makes my palms sweat. How can I describe Matt? Matt is...everything. He is the sun, the moon, the earth, the whole UNIVERSE! And the sad thing is, he doesn't even know that I exist.

But, I think to myself, that is a good thing, because if he ever would say 'hi' to me I think I would have a heart attack. So I just go on with my life, obsessing over Matt, a guy who is so out of my reach that it would probably take me a hundred years just to tell him my name. Matt is perfect, he has no flaws, even though I have never even spoken to him, I know it to be true. And yet there is one monumental thing that makes my blood boil when I think of it.

My breath quickens. My eyes form a glare. My back straightens. My chin is up.

All of these things happen to me just because of one look at Sandra. Sandra, just speaking the same wants me to spit. I hate Sandra with my whole entire body. So can you imagine my feeling when I see Matt and Sandra holding hands? It makes my whole body go rigid, and the feelings are so different it makes me feel like I am going in two directions and my body is splitting.

This is what happens in my life, every single day at school. It tears me apart. My life is in a depression and I don't know what to do about it. I have thought about this one fact for about a year, it has been churning in my mind. Ideas have come and gone, such as running away and never seeing either of them again. But I can't live without Matt. I would DIE.

Then, two weeks ago, something popped into my mind. What if Sandra just...went away? What if Matt didn't have Sandra, what if he was there, all for me? No more fierce anger, no more of the feeling of being ripped apart. But there is only one way of doing this... and that would be to murder Sandra.

Murder Sandra. Yes, that seemed like the only way out of the problem. So for two weeks this thought has been floating around my head. Every time that anger rose up, so did those two simple words. Murder. Sandra. But I just can't, I mean murder? I could go to jail, it is hideous, horrible thing to do, I could never do something like that! But every time I see Matt, the idea pops up and I think, I wouldn't go to jail if I did it right, if I just did it and left no evidence. Then I would have Matt, all to myself. The thought of Matt, all to myself almost makes me grab a butcher knife and walk over to Sandra's instantly.

But, I am more sensible than that, I always think things through. That is why I have had this thought for two whole weeks. That is why I plan to think it over some more. So I am in the library, reading up for an English writing assignment. I walk down the shelves, whispering softly, "Shakespheare, shakespheare..." when I come upon them. Matt has his arms wrapped around Sandra, and they are kissing. A silent scream rises through my body and I no longer feel the blushing, the shyness at the site of Matt; no all I feel is red, hot anger, at the little SLUT that is embraced with my beloved Matt. I turn and I run ignoring the calls of the librarian as I knock over a small pile of books, and I bolt out of the library. I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don't even feel the anger. I only have one thought, murder. I have decided, I know now what I MUST do. Now, all I need to do is form a plan.

When I get home I go to my desk grab my paper and start writing, I already have half of my plan started. It is simple, yet almost fool proof. First, I need to make sure that no one wonders where Sandra is for about a day, which gives me plenty of time to have an alibi. Second, I need to murder her quick and clean, less bloody the better. Third, have a place and time that I will kill her, and make sure that it will be completely empty and no one will spot me.

After 3 hours of work, pouring over paper I have my plan out. It is completely fool proof that I can see. And it is set for tomorrow. This should be perfect. I memorize my entire plan, and start getting rid of the evidence immediately. I shread all of the paper and throw it away in different wastebaskets around the house and in the dumpster across the street. Tomorrow is Thursday, garbage day. They will be gone before anyone has a chance to find them.

I walk back home, a sick smile creeping up my face. Two days from now Matt will be MINE. All mine!

My plan is set. I will kill Sandra on Thursday. Then on Friday I am going to introduce myself to Matt. Ahhh, what joy! I am no longer feeling anger, I am feeling relief. Killing her was definitely the best thing to do! So now I go through my process. I first go to the store and buy an assortment of things, including rubber gloves. Then I grab one of my mom's shirts, my brother's sneakers, and my dad's hat. If anyone sees me, then they won't know it is me. Then with everything in my bag, I go to sleep, with a smile on my face.

I wake up before my alarm. Great. I am giddy with excitement, but that is another key point in my plan, I can't let anyone know anything is different. I take my bag downstairs and set it to the side, then get breakfast. As I leave the house, I run back in to my mom.

"Mom, I'll be late home tonight, I have to study forever for the English writing assignment, like I said before, I probably won't be home until 9!"

"Okay then, good-bye and don't get into trouble!" She says with a laugh.

"I'll try not to!" I call back. I will REALLY try not to!

At school, I practically stalk Sandra and Matt. This makes me sick. I watch as they are always together, always giggling. Blah! But I must do it. I need it for information. Then I hear it. Right in the middle of the hall by locker 573, I hear Sandra in that airy, disgusting voice of hers say what I need.

"So you're picking me up at 7 right?"

"Yup, that's right." Matt says, his voice like music to my ears. I stop stalking them. Perfect, now my plan is really into full action!

After school I go straight to the library, just like I told my mom I would, I also worked on that English paper until 5:00. Then I got up, making sure that no one saw me and left. Great. I quick go into a phone booth and face the wall, and I call Matt's house. This is a tricky part of my plan, I need to fake Sandra's voice, but I may be able to do it, because I have a knack for this type of thing. Plus, with the stalking I've done, I know the voice well.

Ring....ring...."Hello?" I hear the voice. My breath stops. It's Matt, I just know it. I quickly clear my mind and think, SANDRA.

"Hey hun." I say, imagining that I could really say something like that.

"Who is this? Sandra?"

"Of course it is me silly!" I say, a little frightened, what if he doesn't believe me?

"Oh, you sound different."

"Do I?" I ask when inspiration strikes. "Oh, my cell phone battery must be going again, you sound a little funny too."

"Oh, so ready for the date tonight?" I put a little pout into my voice. "Actually that is what I called about, like, I can't go with you tonight! My mom is like, 'that is enough for one week, you can go tomorrow but not tonight.' it sucks! I can't sneak out either. I'm so sorry!"

"Oh, well that sucks. I guess I will see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, sorry again babe."

"That's okay, bye." I hang up. WONDERFUL! This is almost perfect!

Now, I need to call Sandra's mom. This is even trickier, I have to make sure that Sandra is out of the house, and from what I heard before, she is shopping at the mall with some friends, I hope her plans haven't changed. I call up the house. Two minutes later I hang up. YES! I am practically jumping for joy! Her mom now thinks that she is going to be at the library until 9. Perfect.

Just one more call, and the hardest of all, I need to sound like Matt. I call up Sandra's cell, when she picks up it makes me want to puke. I get over it and start scratching the mouth piece, making it all scritchity and hard to hear.

"Sandy? Hey listen it's Matt!"

"Matt? I can't hear you!"

"I know my cell is leaving me! But listen meet me at Lookers Cliff! My dad needs the car, so we need to meet there! Still 7 okay?"

"Okay, but..." I click off the phone, let her think that it went out! I sigh and lean against the booth, relief washing over me. That was the part that could have so easily gone wrong, but thank god that is didn't! An evil grin crawls up my face. Now, there is just one, last part of the beautiful plan. And that is the killing of little slut Sandra.

I am grinning like a fool. I can't wait to just "push" the whore over the edge of that cliff! I am practically skipping as I go down the street, But, I remind myself, I still have to play it cool. She's not dead yet! So I quickly slip into a Chinese restaurant and go into the bathrooms, I quickly change into the other clothes. I take a quick look in the mirror. I don't think that anyone would know it was me unless they saw me full in the face! Satisfied I walk out of the restaurant and quickly up to Looker's Cliff. I sit down hiding between the trees and I take a quick look at my watch. 6:30. Perfect, the sun is already starting to set. Good thing its not daylight saving time! Otherwise I would be doing this murder in full daylight!

As I sit there, waiting for the bitch to arrive, it finally settles on me what I am going to do. I am going to take someone's life. Hm..., I think to myself, normally I would be sad about this. But I am doing it for Matt, my beloved Matt. Because he is obviously brainwashed by this slut and can't really like her. Just then I hear the crunching of leaves as someone in sneakers walk up the path. I peek around the tree. There she is, Sandra.

I look up slowly, noticing the slightly scuffed sneakers, the frayed end of her hip-hugger flare jeans. Up more is a sparkly belt and a lavender halter top. Her hair is down, chin length and curled out. On her hand is Matt's ring.

My blood boils. How can she dare wear Matt's ring? Matt's ring should be on MY FINGER! Not on that whore, that slut! With my teeth gritted I let her walk past, then in complete silence I follow her through the trees. My eye on the ring the whole time. I must kill her, but I am taking that ring. There is no way that I can leave my beautiful Matt's ring on her finger. The finger that will be decayed and peeling soon. It will make my job harder, but I know just what I can do to distract her. Pulling my hat down low I step behind her, make sure my gloves are on tight, and in one fluid motion, I grab the ring.

She spins around and I put my hand over her mouth, and slid off the ring, she bites my hand, but I was expecting that, and with the ring off I just gave her a nice, hard push. She stumbled, eyes wide as her feet tried to hold to the ground, but they can't. She teetered on the edge, and then dropped. I watched as she fell through the air screaming. And then I heard with a satisfying crunch the sound of her hitting the bottom. The screaming stopped abruptly.

I ran. I ran and ran until I was far away from the spot. Then spotting a Mexican restaurant, I dive in, and go to the restroom. There I change back into my clothes and stuff my hat in the trash. I slowly walk home, past the library that way it sorta looks like I came from there. Along the way, every dumpster I through away one item that I was wearing, except my jeans. That way if anyone saw me running they won't know it is me. Then with the ring clutched in my hand and a smile on my face, I walk into my home.

I walk up the stairs and flop on my bed. I grin just as wide as can be on my face. I've done it! It really happened! Sandra is really, really, dead! And the best part is, it'll look like an accident! With that push I gave her, her feet dragged some so it'll look like she just slipped off! I slide Matt's ring onto my finger. I look at it smiling.

Ahh! It's wonderful! Now Matt will be mine, first thing tomorrow I will introduce myself and ask with "genuine concern" where Sandra is. Mwahahaha! I love it! As I lay back on my pillow I feel extreme exhaustion. The last thing I can remember before falling asleep is that I would do it again if I needed to, I would really do it again, all for my Matt.

I walk through the halls, rushing behind Matt to the lunch room. He sits down at a table, alone. His face is drawn, his eyes red, while the rest of his skin is white. I make a move to walk over, and I sit quietly across from him. He raises his head.

"Hi." I say. My heart is pounding. He just looks at me blankly. "My name is Claire."

"Hi." He manages, his voice hoarse.

"Er, I was wondering, you seem really sad..." he snorts "What's wrong?" His eyes fill with tears and he turns away. A tall red haired girl walks up and looks at me angrily.

"Can't you see that he wants to be alone?!" She pushes me away and wraps her arm around Matt.

"Thanks Pam." He croaks. I stalk away.

Pam. The name just makes my blood curdle. I watch them as they walk down the hall, hand in hand. After all that I did for Matt, and look at how he thanks me?! Well, maybe he wants me to show him once more how much I love him. I will do it tomorrow, at Looker's Cliff...

The End