Apology For Loving You

The sudden ecstasy of seeing you come
The tightness in my heart when you leave
The idiotic smile that blushes my cheek
The surreal truth i blindly believe


The lusty gazes I mistook for love
I gave you something above my flesh
True I wasn't as white as a dove
But certainly wasn't ripe for the mesh

You were my elder in age and wisdom.
Sure you knew I had rosy glasses
Was I to end your boredom?
Did you hate searching for greener pastures?


When you kissed me passionately,
Was it better than playing with your toys?
Or was it a ploy to shut my sassy mouth
So that i never fought your ploys.


It doesn't hurt that you spat me out
Allthough still relish the taste
What hurts more is that you seek me out
To badger me into a waste


I despise you for whoring me out
I despise you for my wasted youth
And more than that I am writing this verse
As an apology for loving you