My Boss Made a Monkey Out of Me

Of all the ridiculous things Sam's boss had had him to do, this was the worst.  As an administrative assistant for Chase Dandridge, he was accustomed to going the extra mile for the company's clients.  But having to wear a gorilla suit, while making a presentation, was too much.  Anyway, it was over now.  Sam was walking at a quickened pace down the empty corridor that led to his office on the ninth floor.  Still clad in the furry gorilla suit, and carrying the accompanying mask, Sam was anxious to slide out of this crazy monkey suit.
         My boss made a monkey out of me tonight, Sam thought with a snort.
         Upon reaching his office, he quickly bolted inside slamming the door behind him and throwing down the ugly mask.  Not wasting any time, he groped his way through the costumes fur, seeking out the release zipper with his finger tips.  It was not an easy task, as the zipper was located in the back of the costume, near the neckline.  Eureka! He found it at last.  He grasped the metal zipper and began to slide it downward, reveling in the thoughts of sweet release from this humiliation.  The zipper only moved a fraction of an inch before coming to an abrupt and stubborn halt.  He tugged several times, but to no avail.
         Stupid monkey fur.  It's snagged up the zipper, Sam thought angrily.  All the while he was tugging desperately at the small, metal zipper. 
         Giving up in disgust, he began searching the contents of his desk.  He would cut his way out with scissors if necessary.  Then he stopped as he remembered what his boss had told him about the costume being very expensive.  He was sure his tightwad boss, Mr. Dandridge, would take it out of his pay if the suit came to any harm.  He couldn't imagine how a stupid gorilla suit could be so valuable.  Was it made from authentic gorilla hair, or something?
         Too embarrassed to seek out help from what few support staff remained in the building, he decided that he would just wear it home.  His wife Beth, a natural-born problem-solver, would know how to disentangle the pesky zipper.  He would bring it back on Monday morning.  No one would be looking for it until then, anyway. 
         It then occurred to him that he would have to venture out and drive home this way.  What if he was in an accident, or stopped by the police?  He looked over at his office closet.  Covering the suit seemed to be the most viable solution.  The closet door clicked open to reveal but a few options available to him.  A business suit, an overcoat, and a one-piece leather riding suit.  The trench coat would have been a good option, were it not for the fact that it was too short and would leave the furry legs exposed.  He considered the riding leathers that he kept for working overtime on weekends. He usually rode his Harley to work on those days.  It was cheap on gas, plus he greatly enjoyed the ride.
         The leathers would be a tight fit over the bulky gorilla suit.  But, he had nothing to lose by trying it on.  Slowly he worked the legs of the leathers over the furry suit.  Not bad, but the arms would present a greater challenge.  Pulling the crotch of the leather suit as high he could, he slid in one arm. 
         Maybe this won't be so bad after all, he thought optimistically.  He then began sliding in the other arm, which required some wiggling and contorting.  Slightly out of breath from the struggle, he soon found himself tucked inside the leathers.  He looked down at the black, furry chest and abdomen exposed down the front.  Knowing that that would have to be hidden as well, he grasped both sides of the gaping exposure and began working the zipper upwards toward the collar. 
         The zipper emitted a deep-throated whine as it met tight resistance from the bulky costume beneath.  But, the steadfast zipper reached the collar, none-the-less.  He then fully assessed himself in the closet mirror.  It looked surprisingly normal, aside from his arms sticking out slightly.  The physical sensations inside the suit were a different story, though.  When he went to bend his limbs, they met with stubborn resistance.  The leather suit creaked from the strain imposed upon it.  It was cramped and uncomfortable inside the suit, but he could tolerate it until he arrived home. 
         He took a strangled breath and turned to leave his office, when his phone rang.  He started to ignore it, and then worried that it might be Beth.  He decided to answer.
         "Hello, Sam Morrow speaking"
         "Sam, I am so glad I caught you.  I called your house and Beth told me you were still at work", Chase Dandridge, Sam's boss said, "No doubt plugging away on that Magic Novelties account.  Keep working like that, my boy, and you're sure to make junior partner!"
         It concerned Sam that Mr. Dandridge was flattering him.  The only time he received such praise was just before Dandridge asked something of him.  Wanting to head him off Sam quickly sputtered, "Well, sir, I was just about to leave for the day-"
         "Look Sam, I know you've had a long day, but I'm in a real bind here, buddy."
         Buddy?
         "You know Jeffers was supposed to assist with that presentation, tonight.” he continued, "Well, he bailed out on me at the last minute with stomach flu.  Sam...I really need you on this one."
         "Well, sir, I have this problem-"
         "Look, Sam", His voice suddenly changing to one of demand, "You're my last hope.  This account means a lot to the company.  Now, get over here to the Langtree Convention Centre ASAP!"
         "Yes, sir", Sam replied, giving up in utter despair.
         "Thank You, Sam!” Dandridge replied, "I knew I could count on you, my boy."
         The receiver clicked as Dandridge hung up.
         There was nothing to be done, but remove the leathers and don his business suit over the gorilla costume.  He would have to hurry.  There was no time for debating options.  Dandridge was not a patient man who liked being kept waiting. 
         If he could wear a leather riding suit over the costume, then a business suit would not be a problem.  However, when he went to remove the leather riding suit, he screamed in frustration upon finding another new dilemma.  Monkey fur from the underlying costume had ensnared this zipper as well.  Now he was effectively trapped in a monkey costume and in his leather riding suit.
         What to do?  He looked down at the clock on his desk, at the minutes ticking away.  There was only one thing to do...

         Sam arrived, on time, at the Langtree Convention Centre feeling like an overstuffed piñata.  He was encased in a gorilla costume, leather riding suit, and his business suit.  He hoped that no one noticed the extra bulk that it added to his lithe frame.  He couldn't help but feel conspicuous.  The feeling of foolishness was compounded by his having to constantly mop sweat from his brow.  He was burning up inside all those heavy layers.
         As he opened the door to the convention hall, he felt a refreshing blast of cool air meet his face.  Air conditioning.  Upon viewing the assembly of conventioneers, he realized why the convention hall was being maintained at such an arctic level of comfort.  Everyone there was inexplicably attired in snowsuits and ski wear. 
         Sam's mood suddenly lifted as he made his way through the crowd to the ante room behind the podium.  He scanned the ante room searching for Chase Dandridge.  He reflexively jumped when a voice from behind him said, "Sam!  You're just in time.  We have to hurry..."
         Sam clumsily spun around, his forced encasement throwing off his sense of gravity.
         "All you have to do," Dandridge continued, "is work the crowd when I'm finished with my presentation.  You know the drill; win their approval with charm and persuasion."
         If Dandridge noticed the extra bulk on Sam, he gave no indication.  This left Sam feeling a little more confident.
         "Yes, sir", sam intoned, "Could you give me a brief rundown on our clients.  And why is everyone dressed in ski wear?"
         "Oh, yes, of course.  Oh, the ski suits?  This is a snowboarders association we're meeting with, tonight."
         Sam nodded in fresh understanding.
         "We're going for the genx-er crowd.  That's where the target customer is these days", Dandridge continued, "I know you do some snowboarding yourself, so you're sure to have a lot in common with these kids."
         Dandridge turned around and extracted something from a closet behind him.  It was a snowmobile suit.  He thrust it toward Sam and smiled, "And, I want you to wear this.  It will help the customers relate to...now, Sam, don't look at me like that!  It’s not a big deal.  Just put it on over your business suit and zip it up.  It’s freezing out there, anyway."
         Then, softening somewhat, he added, "Look on the bright side, at least your not still wearing that silly gorilla suit."

THE END