e-love (Chapter 30)

30

Some thoughts about pheromones, scents, noses, scientific researches, happiness & more thoughts about this thing called LOVE

While sitting on her window seat on her way back to Brazil, Christina felt a nothing feeling of emptiness in her little heart. She was crying. She thought about Butchie and his life in the USA, about her and her life in Brazil and about the mysterious, unknown future ahead of them. She thought about the American way of life Vs. the Brazilian way of life. What would happen to them now? What would they do? Was this the end? Was this it? She kept asking herself the same question over and over again:

- I've got a relationship going on with this American man I love so much...so...HOW do I keep it, now?

There was no reply, no answer back, no help. She'd have to figure it out on her own. Do you really have to be that practical when you fall in love? Moreover, what makes us really, but really "fall in love"? Was she in love? Was he?



How      does      love      work???

She had read that scientists say that we all have a template for the ideal partner buried somewhere in our subconscious. It is this love map that decides which person in that big, crowded room catches our eye. But how is this template formed? Many researchers have speculated that we tend to go for members of the opposite sex who remind us of our parents... but Butchie did not remind her of her parents or of Colmar or of Henry! Wrong! Also, like appearance, we tend to form preferences for those who remind us of our parents or others close to us through childhood, because of their personality etc but still, Butchie did not look or seem like anyone from her family or childhood! Wrong again!

Finally, that debated topic of human pheromones still carries some weight in the field of Love Research. People talked about that complicated and different word "pheromone" that came from the Greek words pherein and hormone, meaning "excitement carrier-person" or something like that, where and individual scent attracts the opposite sex through our sweat. Our fantastic and powerful NOSES  detect this odorless chemical scent traveling in the air and we SNIFF our MATE anywhere, even when the room is compacted with people and with thousands of other scents... WRONG AGAIN. She hadn't sniffed Butchie inside of her computer or through the phone...!!! Lastly and finally there is that Staring Into Each Other's Eyes Attraction thing when people fall in love and have found that, by simply staring into each other's eyes, it has a tremendous impact. AGAIN, WRONG. She fell in love with Butchie from the inside out...not from the outside in...as it normally happens with 90% of couples in the planet... so...

What        is        love?

­Regardless of the country, language, gender, religion, habits or culture, romantic love plays an important part in everyone's life through real, true love and deep feelings. Also, while cultural differences in how that true love is shown, the fact that romantic love exists is undisputed worldwide.

Romantic Love motivates and pushes us forward no matter what! Isn't that a beautiful and remarkable feeling in human beings? Is it love that entirely differentiates us from the animals? But animals love too (and some don't even philander) and mate for lifetime, like some humans! Think about the marvelous Emperor Penguin of Antarctica, the dolphins, the whales, some apes (but not gorillas or baboons at all!), the gray wolves and the Mexican coyotes, the owls, the condors, hawks and the American golden eagles, the swans (but some scientists say they do cheat on their mates), and a fantastic Brazilian bird called "João de Barro" that mates for lifetime. This bird is well known in Brazil for building its mate a strong, comfortable clay house on the tree tops but if she cheats on him that house will become her prison and death trap. He will close its entrance in minutes with her inside...and she stays right there... until he closes the entrance. We do live in a mysterious world...

Love and happiness... they both bring love to life.

She had also read that scientists were discovering that the same chemical process that takes place with "addiction" takes place when we fall in love!

So, when we are in love we are also, I guess, addicted to our loved one??? Is love a chemical state of mind, then? Was it the pheromones, then? Was it only one of those things or the ‘love template' thing that made us love? What a complicated thing to understand this How Does Love Work thing. It doesn't! It doesn't work at all like this, you mad scientists...it just HAPPENS, it just comes from nowhere and that's that!!! Love happens...

And that HAPPINESS that she had thought about for some time, in Brazil, had come down to the following: Happiness only exists in your life when that happiness is shared...You need to SHARE your feelings of happiness for it to work, exist inside of your heart. Also, if you think it's going to work, you're halfway there!

The same exact thing with Love, she thought. Love is the sharing of true, deep emotions without reasons. That was Christina's opinion of love. And so she loved Butchie without reasons, templates or pheromones, sniffing for scents, without likes or dislike compatibilities, family traits or background, without researches or scientific proof, hear say. She simply loved him. She simply loved him because her heart told her so, her heart ordered and she obeyed, blindfold. That's how we love.

Was Christina already in the Attachment with Commitment phase and didn't know it? This stage is love for the duration of our life... or going to into what was REAL LOVE. What about Butchie? Was he?

Oh Butchie... she thought while looking at the bright, yellow, yellow full moon outside her window in that cold, dark night... is my moon your moon? 



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