Dark reflection

Dark Reflection

Who are we really? Can someone in this world answer this question with real honesty? I guess not. You see, we all have a certain part of us that we are not familiar with; a single fragment of our personality that only surfaces in moments of clarity. Some are willing to hide it, while others are not able to lie about themselves. This sad reality chases me day and night; it possesses my mind like an evil spirit. Yet, only a maniac can waste his life trying to figure a way out. Perhaps you and I were not meant to think that much. I wish I were still a child playing in the sand, innocent and not aware of all the issues in life. “Remember, remember,” she said to me. “Life is not forever granted”. I should have listened to her more; but I was young and old was grandmother. What can I do? What is done is done; nothing can erase past mistakes. The only weapon we hold against fear is truth; we must acknowledge what we did, so that we can stare at our problems truthfully. So here I am, finally opening my heart for something unknown. I am tired of lying to myself. A tale of love or friendship, it is not; only pain will you find.

I am a cop. I am the law. I am a saviour of human rights. But today, today I feel like I am no one.

It was a beautiful Wednesday morning; people in the metro were hastily walking towards their destination. I always observe them, wondering what they are thinking about. If you look close enough, you can see that they all have the same look; you know the one that people have in the morning before they get to work. These sad faces that pretend to read the newspaper because of their loneliness and, as time passes, they wake up to wonder how they got there so fast. I can’t recall a time in my life where people I knew where happy about their accomplishments. Life is a long trip; you are always waiting to get to a better destination, but in the end, it is the journey which is beautiful. I always do a bit of thinking before I begin my routine; it helps me forget why I am here doing this job.

I took a last sip of my coffee and threw it in the dark garbage can near me, and then, I made my way through the crowd to get a glimpse at everything and everyone. My job consists of protecting people; usually from themselves. We don’t want any accident today. As I walked near the metro lane, I heard thundering screams echoing beside me.
“Officer!” said the woman close to me. There he was, standing near the edge ready to jump, my worst nightmare; the one thing that keeps me up at night. This is it, I said to myself, time to prove to others that you are still worth something.

-“Why are you doing this Mr?” I said.

-“Oh you know why officer!” He said grinning. “Can’t you see all around you?”

-“Wha… What are you talking about?”

- “I am tired of all this, all these people pretending to be something while they are not, this world is falling apart, don’t you see? What do I have that is different from others? What difference does it make if I jump right now, other than slowing the stressed life of some dumb citizens?”

I noticed he was shaking.

-“A big one, each human has some good inside of himself. See yourself as a flame in the dark, as a light in the horizon that can’t or shouldn’t be put out. It’s hard, I know. You are currently facing troubled times where hope isn’t just necessary; it’s the meaning of your life. I’m not asking you not to jump; I’m begging you.”

-“Think about it for Christ sake! Even if a little hope flashes before my eyes, I feel like I can’t grab it. As if my arms where to short to grasp on this magnificent ideal.”

-“Don’t worry; a new day will dawn where the wind blows in your ear, whispering you what to do. However, you must be patient for that day to appear and you must find that patience in the hope you carry.”

-“Wrong, I’m tired of being useless!”

A strange feeling grew deep within me. Who was he? I began to hear the sound of darkness echoing from the tunnel; it was coming. But then, his words struck me like God’s voice. It finally made sense. My hands where trembling. “Officer!” cried the woman desperately. Truth came closer and closer and closer...

                                                                                                             Icem