Never Forgotten

Ah! I want to scream at the top of my lungs sometimes, pull my hair out, and continuously ware myself out in an attempt to fight the world. But that got me nowhere. But what had happened could not change now. It was far too late. I grow cold, pale in the face. Goosebumps blanket my bare skin and I reveal a face of all seriousness. I become weak, not physically, but mentally. I stare blankly and question how things like this could happen and why they did. This was no joke, but reality. If only I was able to say my final words. Memories like these haunt me forever.

It was a clear sunny spring day, not a cloud in the sky could bring the day down; to be exact it was April 13, 2003. The sun glistened through the windows of our back porch casting shadows beyond our bodies. At that time I was eight years old and my sister was ten years old. It was just the epitome of a typical child’s day. We woke up, ate breakfast and were off to play of course as if it were any other day. Polly pockets filled out hands with enjoyment; they were something we have always known. Our phone rang to our surprise it was our cousin Danny with an alarming call. Danny and his family were staying at my grandma’s house because they came in from Cincinnati to spend their Easter with the family. My mom timidly answered the phone. Not thinking of anything or the situation, my sister and I continued our play. As the phone conversation continued, my mom’s once serene voice had now sounded very worrisome. As my sister and I eavesdropped on the conversation we could only hear little of what was said.

“Is there something wrong?” Asked my mom.

Puzzled and curiously waiting for an answer, he responded, “Yes, Pa was just rushed to the hospital by an ambulance. You must come here as soon as you possibly can.”

My mom, as loving as she is, was in a state of panic. She paced herself back and forth not knowing what to do. Rushing and forcefully, she grabbed my sister and me by our sleeves, told us to grab our toys and get in the car. Not wanting to aggravate her anymore than she already was, we followed her directions and shockingly surprised her with our superb cooperation. We hopped into the car and we were off to a long car ride of silence and suspense. It was so silent that you could possibly hear a pin drop upon the floor of the car. None of us knew exactly what was going on or what was happening or even going to happen. The near future had many surprises for us. Once we reached our final destination, my aunt’s house, we met up there with all our cousins that were on my mom’s side of the family. I knew my mom was just dropping us off there, but that is not what I wanted. I wanted to go with her to see my grandpa, but for one, I was too young to understand anything and I really did not want to see him sick or anything. That would hurt even worse, although today I wish I would have seen him on that day.

My mom said to me, “Just go and play with your cousins. You never see them anyways and this is your chance to visit them for a bit so just enjoy yourself.”

By her saying so I did. I mean I was not going to fight with her about it I loved my cousins and she was right. I never see them and this was a great opportunity. It was all fun and games for us until my mother, Aunts, and Uncles in with news that turned my life upside down.

The faces of my Aunts and Uncles looked as if they were in pure sorrow. Their heads were dropped and their posture hinted us that something terrible has gone wrong. Their faces grew pale and the color was of light flesh. Their eyes were all puffy and barely able to stay open. All I could think in my head was, “What is going on? I have never seen any of my family act or look like this before?”

Oblivious of the situation they slowly began to tell us what actually happened and why they were mourning. They brought home the worst news that I have ever heard at that young age and even today it is still the worst news ever brought to me. The news turned out to be that my grandpa, who I loved more than anything was dead. I couldn’t believe that this was really happening to me at this point yet I was a little too young to actually understand what really happened. My cousins’ eyes were filling up with tears and the tear drops just came trickling down their rosy red cheeks. Me on the other hand not so much. It did not really hit me until we all went to my grandma’s house to talk and comfort her. My cousins and I walked up the stairs step by step slowly and stomped one foot at the top. We left our family downstairs in the TV room as they drown in despair with tears and memories. Upstairs there were two beds, and on the one bed were two stuffed animals linked together. The stuffed animals were given to my grandma by my grandpa as a gift one Valentine’s Day. They were really fuzzy and had a “Push Here” button on the foot of one of them. At once I gently pushed it and it began to sing a lovely sad song about the love they had for one another. This is when it really got to me and hit me. I then broke down in tears and remembered all the memories that I had bundled up of him. Memories of him, and playing games with me and my cousin Kaitlin and how we would wear those ugly tank tops that would not cover our bellies on those muggy summer days stirred through my head. I remembered how he fought for our country and how he would always play silly games with us and try to trick us. That is when I really grew sad, when I woke up and stepped back into reality and realized that he was gone forever.

Today, thinking back at the situation makes me very upset to know that such a wonderful man had to leave this earth so soon, but I know that it happened for a reason and he is in a great place right now. I pray for him every time that I get a chance to and there is not one day that can go by that I do not think about him. My love for him was and still is indescribable. Sometimes I swear I can smell him. I remember him by the smell of fresh cologne and peppermint candies. I make myself believe that when I smell that scent that he is right by my side in everything I do and say. Knowing he is with me, I fear nothing. He has given me the strength and ability to fear none and believe in everything that I do. I can never thank him enough. I love and miss him so much. I just wish he was still here with me, but if only I was able to talk to talk to him one last time.