The Last Rites

I respect tradition.
I respect myself.


They started to arrange my epitaph.
What are you doing that for?

You've already separated Heaven & Hell.
Then you separated Church & State.

Now, I'm in between Life & Death.

And its getting crowded!

Six pallbearers who never lent a helping hand are carrying my nice comfortable, air-conditioned coffin?
I hope one of them doesn't start asking to be paid.
I do hope my hair is on straight.

Why not transport me by UPS, or Federal Express?
Put me on closed circuit over the internet.

You never gave me those nice smelling flowers. That would have made all my friends happy.

And the procession: Did I have so many friends?
I really didn't know I was so well known. Except by the bill collectors.

And with the exception of a few prostitutes (who never showed up anyway), I really didn't know that I was so well loved.

I wished I could have spread this much happiness and tribute in life.

So take a look at this Man in front of you.

He takes no quarter; wants no quarter.
He is who he is.
And accepts you as you are.

Don't jump to conclusions; allow him to prove it to you.

It's peaceful; but I'm not resting.
St. Peter and Satan are waiting to get rich.
There is commerce in Death, but which one is which?
I'm too young to be bundling up that coffin.
I'm too old to be hearing those kind words and sentiments.

You should be silent now as you were then, when you passed me quickly on the street.

Mens lives lead to certain ends.

I want a sense of fulfillment.
And not just from myself...

Let us live and die naturally.
Not on pay per view.
Let us live and die naturally.
Not alone, with no one to love.

Our thoughts and feelings interact; we pass on together.
We then form the most satisfied of minds.

The pure essence of humanity

So while I'm lying in state, I might just move out of state and touch your arm across those state lines.

Don't be afraid.
Don't be disappointed.
And don't arrest me.

For what more is there?
We live and die.
The beauty and sanctity of life.


I'll dance on your grave,
if you'll dance on mine.