The expression of a word

Better one of the love poems....

It's a feeling uncertain
Kept behind closed curtains
Never ask never tell
With quite an unusual smell
Is it real or just a expression
A god given blessing
Some call it a perk
Some call it the lesson.
To be loved or to be endured
Is it a sickness or the cure?
Whichever is decided?
Love is still divided.
To find a mate for the soul
Whether you’re hot or you’re cold,
Can form the hearts into a mold
And all of life’s pleasures will unfold.

The word I seek is never said properly
But as it is used modernly
Love has surely disappeared straight into poverty.
Love for money is greater.

Read back to these 'vomit' of words
For you can see
That I myself can't express love fluently.
The idea is boggling, shocking;
Startling and mocking
It's more of a connection and far from an expression.
So when the words aren't right
But you seem to know what you mean
Just know that what's felt in the heart is the greatest of all means!