Explaining ME

Here I go again hurting the one that I love not intentionally, but I hurt them all the same.

But how am I supposed to explain my feelings or how my heart is filled with such pain??

How is it that you can look at other women and talk and flirt with them?

Wasn"t you the one that told me that I was your only one that you wanted in your life?

Isn't that the reason that you wanted to marry me and make me YOUR wife??

How do I explain  how I feel when you give others compliments that you should be giving me?

Is this the way that you planned on it??  Or is this the way it is going to be??

I lost almost half of me since my father moved me away and out of our family home.

Back then I was so lost, feeling used , abused, and basically I felt all alone.

Then two years later the good lord smiled down on me and sent me YOU.

So I do beleive in DREAMS and that if you believe they will come true.

I don't expect DIAMONDS or Pearls  and I never asked for GOLD.

Just that you wrap me in your arms and have me there to hold.

I just need for you to know that I do LOVE you more than words can say

And that I am so sorry for the pain that I've sent your way.

Yet, I've lived with this in my heart for a long time and I have to let it out.

For I never want you to think that I didn't or to give you room for doubts.

So I'm trying to write you this message in hope you will understand

That I'm not out looking for anything, anyone or for another MAN!!

I just need you to take a good look at me and for you to really see how  I  feel.

That I am a person and that when I hurt it hurts for real.

And if I don't explain the feelings inside and how that it really hurts

It makes me feel that I'm nothing to you , no more than a speck of dirt.

I clean the house and I wash the clothes, and do my best to make sure your taken care of.

All I ask in return is that you remember that I am a person and I really, really need your love.

So in order for me to wipe the slate clean and start a new day,

I had to write this and this is what I have  to say.

Though you may not realize what you mean to me and I may not act like I should,

I  would go back in the future and change what happened to me if I could.

This is something that is not possible and something I simply cannot do.

For if I was to go and change things that happened back then, then I would never have become MRS.YOU!!

Hoping this heals some of the pain that I've caused, and help  heal the hurt in your heart.

For YOU are ALL I ever need and never, ever, ever, plan on us to part.

Take away all the pain that I've dealt with over these years and take me in your arms and hold me tight,

For without you and your loving KIND SOUL I will never just be all right.